The Big One Page #10

for the Procter and Gamble

corporation...

success in downsizing.

Congratulations.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

And call us

if you have questions...

and we'll be glad to...

MOORE:
All right.

I will definitely call you.

- Do we have your card?

- I don't have a card with me.

- A phone number?

- Do you have a card?

No, I don't have a card either.

Who's got a card?

Wait, we've got a card.

Everything on me

has been laundered in Tide.

OK, thank you.

And the Tide that has

the little bit of bleach in it?

- Mm-hmm?

- I think that's great...

because it doesn't create

those white spots...

that some of your competitors

create in their products.

Another technology

we've put into Tide...

that is very effective

is color guard.

So that when you wash

your dark colors...

they're not gonna fade.

See, I'm the kind of guy...

My wife complains

about this all the time...

I refuse to separate

whites from colors.

I just throw them

all in at once.

You can do that with Tide.

It will not bleed

the color of the shirt.

And she's going, "No, no."

She'll never let me

put her underwear in there.

Thank you very much.

We appreciate it.

Thank you. Take care.

That's my pen right there.

DJ:
BBC, the Broadbank

Burbcasting Corporation.

In the book...

you talk about what

America needs is a makeover.

When I first saw this,

I'll be honest, Michael...

I thought, is this right

to change things in America?

I mean, we've been...

So long,

we've had the same things.

We've looked up to the flag.

We've looked up to

the symbols of this country.

And you want to change them.

Then I got into it a little bit,

and I do have to admit

you do make a lot of sense.

I'm just trying to say...

"There's nothing wrong with

a little P.R. move here...

"to improve our image."

First of all, the name.

The name is so boring.

It's just a description.

The United States of America.

That's not what they did

over in England.

They called themselves

Great Britain.

- They did.

- Great Britain, you know?

DJ:
Boy, that does have

a better feel to it.

Considering there's nothing

great about them.

It's the marketing.

Get the word "great" in there.

You put that on a battleship,

it's coming into harbor...

the natives are going,

"Whoa, run away!"

"Great." United Kingdom.

United Kingdom.

It's not a kingdom.

It's a dinky little island.

"The United States,"

what are we?

It would be like if

the British called themselves...

a bunch of little districts

on an island.

We're the United States

of America, you know?

- You're right.

- Let's knock that off.

What would we change it to?

- The Big One.

- The Big One?

Somebody says,

"Where you from?"

"I'm from The Big One."

And if they don't like it,

"Bite the Big One."

And a new slogan, too,

instead of "In God We Trust."

Let's not say that anymore.

Let's change our new slogan to...

- "Until We Measure Up to God."

- Exactly. Exactly.

So a new slogan I'm suggesting...

"In By Ten, Out By Two."

[All laughing]

DJ:
That's pretty good,

I guess. Any others?

"America... A really good place

for a thick, juicy steak."

That doesn't get it

a second time around.

DJ:
I like this, too.

"Our citizens are armed,

and they like to shoot."

Man, it's hard to beat that.

MOORE:
Then you don't need

to spend so much on defense...

if you just have a good slogan

that scares people.

DJ:
And a new symbol

for the country.

You talked about a new symbol.

It was your daughter

that liked the idea of...

MOORE:

We have the bald eagle, right?

We have the bald eagle now.

We're going, "Hey, have you

ever seen a bald eagle?"

- I've never seen a bald eagle.

- Not in person.

My daughter says,

"Hey, how about a bald man?"

I've seen a lot of them,

you know?

A bald man...

that's a symbol for America.

DJ:
Everybody wants

to change the national anthem.

MOORE:
I've got an idea.

Very simple. Very simple.

We all know it.

We sing it at the ball game.

"We will, we will rock you."

You stand up,

hand over your heart.

We will, we will rock you

We will, we will rock you

Thank you!

We will, we will rock you

We will, we will rock you

Attention, Kmart shoppers:

This is a greenlight special

at General Motors.

MOORE:
It looks like your robot

just went on strike.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Raise the cameras.

You got some Lemon Pledge...

I can try and

take care of the table.

Whoa. Not bad.

Do you remember

your first vote, Mr. Williams?

It was 1984. Ronald Reagan.

It's a proud moment.

And you've never used any drugs?

I think we should call

Apple right now...

so you could

do a commercial for them.

"I drove over my laptop."

Oh, my God, General Motors!

Sell, sell!

It's going up

just as you're talking here.

Thank you.

Thank you.

[Explosion]

No wonder no one votes.

The richest one percent

got two political parties.

There they are.

And we got none.

That doesn't seem fair.

We need our... Hey, wait.

We need our own party.

And get to

the bottom of this truth!

ANNOUNCER:

Congressman Bob Dornan...

who was defeated in

his reelection bid last week...

has filed charges claiming...

illegal Mexicans voted for

his opponent, Loretta Sanchez.

Today,

filmmaker Michael Moore...

visited the offices of

the Orange Country registrar...

and citing California

Election Code Section 2208...

he filed charges claiming...

the people who voted

for Dornan were insane.

Viva Permanente!

...to see the Kaiser!

We want to see the Kaiser!

We want to see the Kaiser!

[Audience applauding]

Hello.

I'm on a campaign, actually...

to get Jesse Helms

put in prison this year.

[Audience laughing, applauding]

Will you join me

in this effort?

Thank you very much

for your support. Thank you.

I appreciate it so much.

- You OK?

- I hope so.

MOORE:
After visiting

47 cities in 50 days...

I was on my way

to Portland, Oregon...

my last stop

and the home of Nike...

the largest shoe manufacturer

in the world.

Nike chairman Phil Knight

was named in my book...

as one of

my favorite corporate crooks.

Nike makes most of

their shoes in Indonesia...

using teenage girls...

and paying them less

than 40 cents an hour.

The company has the backing...

of Indonesia's

brutal military regime...

which has committed genocide

in East Timor.

Nike makes no shoes in America.

CROWD:

Shame on you! Shame on you!

MOORE:

When I arrived in Portland...

I found the local citizens

upset about the situation.

CROWD:

Phil Knight can kiss my butt!

MOORE:
Uh-oh, Nike has sent in

the Portland police.

Officer, I wear a size 11E.

Thank you.

[Radio theme plays]

DJ:
Michael Moore's my guest...

and his new book

is "Downsize This!"

And let's go to Keith in...

Keith in Nike.

- Who's this? Keith Peters?

- That's me.

- Do you work for Nike, Keith?

- Yeah.

OK. What's your question

for Michael?

KEITH:
Well, you know,

I'm a big fan of Michael.

I think the movie was great,

and he spent a lot of time...

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