The Big One Page #9

to meet you outside the door.

- The boss is gonna come out?

- Yeah. Outside the door.

MOORE:
OK, great.

A $20 million profit.

Will you step outside the door?

I know what you're thinking.

MAN:
Go and wait outside

the door.

GUARD:
Don't take

pictures of me, now, OK?

You want to go outside, sir?

TIA:
Hey, hey, hey!

What the hell are you doing?

MOORE:
The boss is coming?

Is he coming down? The boss?

Is he coming down?

[Car horn honks]

TIA:
Michael, the guy...

the supplier that just left...

he told me the company was

just sold to Hershey's today.

This company?

Was sold to Hershey's?

- Today?

- Today.

MOORE:
Hershey. Today.

They took over

Leaf North America.

Right? OK,

I got the right name now.

Is the boss coming down?

No? You said

he was coming down.

GUARD:
He's not coming down.

MOORE:
He's not coming down?

Well, you tricked us.

[Sirens wailing]

Oh, man. We've been hoodwinked.

[Tires screeching]

Police are here. Heads up.

- How you doing?

- Good.

- I'm Michael Moore.

- Hi, Michael Moore.

I'm making a documentary film

for the BBC... What's that?

We've been asked

to ask you to leave.

GUARD:

Turn that off, please.

MOORE:
They made

a big announcement today...

that Hershey

is taking over Leaf.

- So?

- We just want to talk to...

I understand that, but they

don't want to talk to you...

and this is private property.

They handed out a press release.

We're the press.

We'll leave.

We're not on public property?

- That's right.

- Correct.

- This is private property.

- That's correct.

I asked you

to turn that off.

We'll leave.

Yeah, turn off all the stuff.

This is Michael Moore.

If he asks you again...

we're gonna confiscate

the equipment.

MOORE:
All right,

all equipment, off.

All right?

Officer, there's no reason...

put away those handcuffs.

[Door closing]

MOORE:
"Wait, wait."

"What's your name? Let me

see your driver's license."

I said, "No, no, no.

You don't understand."

"That's enough."

The guy's getting ready

to read me my rights.

And I said, "Wait a minute.

"You can't arrest me.

I'm on a book tour."

[Audience laughing]

I'm an author.

You can't arrest authors.

[Chuckling]

And the private security

guy's going...

"Arrest him. Arrest him.

We told him.

"We told him

to get off our property...

"and he refused to leave.

"He's trespassing.

Yeah, arrest him."

"Well, wait a minute.

That's not what happened.

"They told us to come outside

and wait for the boss."

"No, we didn't.

That's a lie."

Of course, he'd forgotten

about the people...

that he had pushed

out the door with me.

And so I said

to the officer...

"Officer,

let's roll the videotape."

[Laughing]

[Moore humming Western theme]

I am supposed

to keep them on schedule.

Yes. And thank God

the 2:
00 appointment...

was canceled today

or else we'd be in trouble.

Yes, I am, and sometimes

I'm not very popular with them.

Because I have to be a meanie.

MOORE:
Well,

she wasn't really a meanie...

but this was

my wedding anniversary...

and my wife

had just flown into town.

I had to find a way

to lose the escort...

and then

I remembered something...

that Rick from Cheap Trick

had suggested.

You ask them to go get you

some cigarettes.

Then you call security.

And while they're out trying

to get you some cigarettes...

even though you don't smoke...

you call security and say...

"This guy,

he's wearing a suit."

And you describe him,

exactly what he looks like...

And you say,

"I don't care what he says.

"He's bothering

the daylights out of me.

"He's nuts. No matter what.

Get rid of him."

- That'll work?

- Oh, yeah.

Tell 'em he's a stalker?

Yeah. But you gotta be

a little mean-spirited.

Yeah. That'll be hard for me.

I doubt it.

[Both laughing]

Can you go get me...

um, like a, uh... something...

Like if you go through

those doors out there...

I think there's

a Coke machine or something.

- Right. Coffee downstairs.

- Coffee downstairs?

You have to go out through

those doors, first, right?

Go out through those doors

and get me one of those.

- OK. Coffee?

- Thanks a lot.

Coffee's great. Thanks.

Thank you very much.

[Chattering]

I would say yes.

She's constantly threatening me.

You can see she has

that stalker look in her eyes.

OFFICER:
So you don't want her

anywhere near you?

No. And if you see her

around here...

she might be wearing exactly

what's in that photograph.

Excuse me, ma'am.

Could you please

put the coffee over here?

I need you to leave

the building right away.

Why?

They're taking her away.

- How is he gonna get back?

- Please walk this way.

OK. Wait a minute!

This is not right.

Yeah, OK. All right.

All right,

we should tell her now.

It's just a joke.

MOORE:
Uh-oh. Oh, my...

Where is he taking her?

Oh, God. Oh, my God.

All right, here.

I'll be right back.

Hang on a second, all right?

[All laughing]

You're a sick individual.

We only do this

to people we love.

Get over there.

Go sign your books.

She's right back

to ordering me again. See?

[Country western music playing]

MOORE:
You know what I hate

about being in these airports?

Always having to step aside

for those beeping carts...

because someone who's perfectly

capable of walking to the plane

is getting a free ride.

Gone 500 miles

before the day is done

I got a bad case

Of the homesick

truck driver blues

MOORE:
Would you tell us

why 13,000 people...

have been laid off here

since 1993?

At a time

of record profits...

when you've made about

$6 billion?

WOMAN:
We wanted to keep

this company competitive...

that we needed to do

something today and now...

in order to ensure...

that this company

stayed healthy and profitable.

MOORE:
But it's obvious that

you're healthy and profitable.

It's $6 billion.

That's a huge profit.

WOMAN:
No, that's not correct.

That's not the...

- Six billion's not huge?

- That's not our profits.

- That's the profit.

- No, it's not.

What is the profit since 1993?

- It's, um...

- You're talking annual profits?

Yes, annual profits since 1993.

Since '93?

If you total it, yes.

That's when the layoffs started.

That's what I'm saying.

During that time of layoffs,

you made, take home, $6 billion.

Do you have any plans of

rehiring any of these people...

now that you've made $6 billion

in the last 3 years?

Well, we are a company

that is promotion from within...

so we are always hiring

because of...

The people who lost their jobs...

Are you gonna bring them back?

We can't say what

we would do as far as anybody...

- Are you doing well?

- Sure, we're doing well.

So, why not share

the wealth a little here?

It's good for the country,

don't you think?

MOORE:
How would

you feel about a law...

that prohibits

Procter and Gamble...

from laying people off

when they're making a profit?

I'm not in a position

to really be able...

to respond to that kind of

legislation at this point.

A certificate of achievement...

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