The Bigfoot Project Page #10

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- What?

- Yeah.

Bigfoots, they're bigger,

and they don't have shells.

He's... he's a cute

little guy, at least.

But he's not Bigfoot, Steve.

I'm really sorry.

- Mickey, I found him.

- No, you didn't, Steve.

- I found him.

- You tried your best.

You tried your best, Steve.

Where are they going?

Jamie?

Oh, Steve, I'm sorry.

I'm so, so sorry, Steve.

It's not Bigfoot, is it?

No.

- What am I doing?

- I don't know.

Steve, maybe you're just trying

a little too hard.

I thought for sure

that this was him.

- What is this?

- -Oh, that wasn't very nice, Steven.

I'm a failure.

- I'm a joke.

- No, Steve.

You're not a failure,

and you're not a joke. Okay?

It's okay.

Hey, Steve, come on, I mean

we all came out here together.

And we had fun, right?

Steve?

You know what?

You've got a great movie.

Okay?

And... and tomorrow

we'll just go...

Can we just go back to camp?

Okay.

Sure.

Ah, the end of the road.

Wake up you miserable losers,

it's time to get

the hell out of Dodge.

- Oh, god. -But we

haven't found him yet.

Nope, it was two weeks,

right, Stevesy?

- And I'm $2,000 richer.

- $1,000.

Dude, it's two,

he's crazy. Go for it.

Moose, shut up.

Look, we gave it our best shot,

but I think it's time

we all admit

that Bigfoot

is some sort of hoax

that some guy made up

a long time ago.

Hey, just because

we didn't find him

doesn't mean he doesn't exist.

We can try again, right, Steve?

I thought this was it.

I was sure.

Hey, my friends,

I think I speak for all of us

when I say that Bigfoot

doesn't exist.

This is captain moose saying

don't stay tuned.

Shut up, moose!

Hey, Jamie, I really wish

we did find Bigfoot.

It would make me use

my gun on something.

It's okay, Steve.

You just...

Got a little...

You know what?

- I think you were an

incredible captain. -No.

- I was sure of it. We were right there.

- I know.

And, you know what?

Maybe we can even

try again sometime, huh?

Hells to the no.

Let's just start packing, huh?

Can you put that thing down

and help me?

Hey, Mickey, I'm getting

some b roll.

Butt roll?

That's not going in the movie.

- Hey, guys!

- What's he doing?

All right, Steve,

let's go, buddy.

Come on, Steve, we gotta go.

- I'm staying.

- What?

- I'm not moving.

- Steve...

Okay, this is not funny.

Get up!

You can't just stay here, Steve.

Yes, I can. Watch me.

Dude, you better start moving,

cause if you don't, I'm leaving.

And you know what, fine.

You guys just

wait here with him,

I'm done with this.

I'm outta here.

Moose.

- I'll come with you.

- Get outta here.

Steve...

You gotta

come with us now, okay?

Two weeks.

That was the plan, remember?

It was a real

nice turtle, Steve.

I'm sorry I wasted

your guys time,

but I'm staying.

I'm supposed to be here.

What should we do?

I hope you stay there, man.

I hope you get eaten by bears.

Okay, you need to think about

what you're doing here, Steve.

What are you gonna do?

Just sit in the woods and wait?

Yeah, that's exactly

what I'm gonna do.

You guys should go.

Here, take this.

Steve! Steve!

- What's that?

- Huh?

Steve, you should

take a look at that.

Whatever it is, it is big.

Hey, moose! Come back here!

No, wait! I can't see

with you guys in the way!

- I'm excited and nervous right now.

- Mickey, be quiet.

As a mouse, Steve!

- Oh, my god.

- What the hell?

That's two Bigfoots banging

the sh*t out of each other.

Yeah, they're going at it hard.

This is incredible, Jamie,

are you getting this?

I'm definitely getting this.

- Huh, they do smell like passion fruit.

- -Yeah, you're right.

We found him. Two weeks.

But we found him.

People have spent their entire

lives searching for Bigfoot,

and to them I say, ha!

A mystery no longer!

The record books in the museum

shall forever know my name

- and I owe it all to...

- Where you going?

Jamie, where you going?

Holy sh*t, it's staring

straight at us.

Oh, Steve, it's staring

straight at you.

- No, no, it just wants

to communicate.

- No, Steve, you should run.

- -Definitely not.

Hi, I'm captain Steve.

We travelled a long way

to make this appearance.

- Oh! Oh! Jesus!

- Run, Steve!

Run, Steve!

I can't run,

it's very strong, Mickey.

Mickey, do something!

You do something,

you're the lesbian

- What the hell does that mean?

- I don't know!

Don't stop shooting this!

Try fighting, Steve!

I don't think you understand

how strong he is, Mickey!

I will save you!

Coming, Steve!

Ow! Ow!

I'm coming for you, buddy!

What are you doing?

Don't stop shooting!

I'm sorry! Okay.

Oh, sleeper hold.

I'm falling asleep.

No!

Mickey, where did

you get a chair?

Oh, I don't know.

Hey, Bigfoot!

Yippee ki-yay, motherf***er!

Got him.

Ow! You shot me!

- Oh, sh*t, dude.

- Why would you shoot me?

- I'm an idiot, man.

- Oh, my god!

- Steve, are you okay?

- No!

- Oh, moose, take the camera!

- -Okay, I'm sorry.

- Mickey, help me put pressure on it.

- No, no, thank you.

- Do it!

- Okay.

Oh.

Moose, you are a terrible shot.

I wasn't even close to him.

I know, man, I'm sorry.

I had my eyes closed.

- Where did he go? -He ran right

off into the woods, Steve.

But we got it right.

We got him all on tape.

We got the whole thing!

- Really? -Yeah, well,

most of it, yeah.

Well, that should

be fine, right?

- Yeah.

- Oh, he fainted.

Oh, he is out.

Okay, guys, help me

get him out of here.

Dibs on not carrying him.

Dibs on not carrying him.

I am your captain now,

and you're gonna help me

get him out.

I'm bleeding pretty badly,

but it's all worth it.

- Yeah, good, drink this.

- We found him.

We found him.

We have hard without

a shadow of a doubt evidence

that Bigfoot does exist.

A mystery no more.

Yeah, but you look

like sh*t there, dude.

Steve, you're really heavy.

Because of us,

myth has become truth.

Because of us, the world now

knows the secret of Bigfoot.

- My arms are falling asleep.

- Oh, god, mine, too.

And I don't owe

this a**hole any money!

I'm carrying you.

Hey, it's Willie ray!

- What?

- Well, well, well.

Looks like you found him.

That we did, Willie ray.

That we did.

He was making love

to a lady friend.

Oh, yeah, it's Friday.

Goddamn, what did he do?

Shoot you?

Oh, no, that was me.

- Hey, guys, stop here for a second.

- Aw, come on!

Willie ray, as the majestic

monster was beating my face in...

- Yeah, he's gonna do it to you.

- He looked into my eyes,

and it was right then and there

that I understood.

He wanted me to give

this to you.

Oh, see? I told you

he was good for it.

- You weren't lying.

- No, sir, I wasn't.

- Did he really give that to you, Steve?

- Yeah, he did, Jamie,

right after he punched me

in the face repeatedly.

He put it in my pocket,

but he looked me in the eyes.

Yeah, he's a good guy.

Yeah, he did beat me up

pretty good though.

Well, you know he's a little rough.

A little rough.

But at the end of the day, I just

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