The Bigfoot Project Page #9

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for sure what it was, but...

God, I don't know.

I didn't wanna say anything,

but maybe I'm losing

my mind, too.

- Anyway, until next time.

- Let me go! I saw it.

- This is captain Jamie signing off.

- I saw it, dude.

- He was right there. -God, I'm don't

really like the sound of that.

- Hey, Steve?

- What?

- You wanna maybe stop and set up?

- No.

- Get some rest? -We have a

lot of ground to cover.

Yeah, I know we do,

but we're all pretty tired.

Yeah, dude, and I'm hungry.

Well, why don't you eat

more gummy bears!

Mickey, quiet! Did you just

throw a pine cone at me?

- If I had a grenade you would have blown up.

- Stop! Relax!

- A grenade?

- God.

Fine, you wanna rest,

we can rest.

Hey Mickey, you wanna

go get some wild tracks?

Sure.

Steve, can we talk for a second?

Moose, why are you not shooting?

I told you you need to be

rolling this whole time.

Okay.

Hey, Steve, am I an a**hole?

Moose, the word a**hole can mean

so many different things.

Yeah, but what's

Mickey's problem?

I mean, it's just

gummy bears, right?

Not to him.

He loves gummy bears.

That's his thing.

It brings him joy.

Yeah, but that...

You didn't think about

how he'd feel, did you?

No, I didn't think

it would be a big deal.

Moose, remember when you were

seven or eight,

and you had that bike

that you loved to ride?

You would ride that thing

every morning until it got dark.

- Do you remember?

- Yeah, that chrome diamondback?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Now imagine if one

of your friends,

someone you looked up to,

someone you trusted

took that from you.

Mark Jacobson?

Oh, that happened to you?

Yeah, son of a b*tch

stole my bike.

Okay, we'll, remember

how you felt?

That didn't feel good, did it?

That is what Mickey

is feeling right now.

- He looks up to you.

- Really?

Yeah, yeah, he does.

I don't know why, but...

I'll tell you why.

'Cause we're best buds.

- You are. You are best buddies.

- Yeah.

You guys are such good friends

and I think the...

- Ah! What was that?

- What's happening, dude?

Uh, a bug just went in my nose

and grabbed a piece

of my brain or...

- And flew away.

- Okay, well, look,

I'll just apologize

when he gets back.

- Cool?

- Yeah, do that.

Oh, my god, Jesus.

What the hell was...

- Hey, good work, Mickey.

- Thanks.

Just make sure you log

everything, okay?

I will.

Hey, Mick, did you get everything

you needed, the wild stuff?

Get out of here,

gummy bar stealer!

Come on, Mickey, I was a regular

mark Jacobson back there.

- You didn't deserve it. -What the

hell are you talking about, dude?

Look, man, I know

you love your gummy bears

and I shouldn't have eaten them.

I shouldn't have

stolen from you.

I just don't want you

to be mad at me anymore.

I don't have a lot

of friends, dude.

You're like my best friend.

- It was all I had left, man.

- I know, I know, Mickey,

and I promise you

I'll buy you, like, five packs

when we get back

into town, okay?

- Only five?

- No, no, not just five.

What's your favorite number?

- 47.

- 47? No, I'll buy you 10.

47, that's ridiculous.

10's cool.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

So are we.

Put that away.

Come here, you lovable

son of a b*tch.

Oh! It was so hard

being mad at you.

No, I know.

What's that?

You know what, Mick?

$1,000 can buy you

- a whole gummy bear factory.

- Really?

- Yeah, dude, and I was thinking,

if the market's right,

- we'd buy a castle.

- Okay.

What is he doing?

Oh, god.

Stop.

Dude, if we stop,

I'm not moving again.

- He's here.

- Hey, no offense, Steve,

but you've said that

a few times already, bud.

- He's here!

- Okay, Steve, what do you want us to do?

Did you fart, man?

It's always a possibility.

Right, I want you two

to set up camp here.

With the camera

on constant record,

set up over there, aiming

towards those trees over there.

- Copy? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We get it.

Jamie, I want you to rig

the camera up there.

And make it so that it does

a 360-degree rotation

around the surrounding area.

I want every inch

of these woods accounted for.

- Um, Steve... -and I

want it to occasionally

come down and scan our camp

when it senses movement,

motion sensors.

The beast is messing with us.

He's here,

Steve, we don't have that kind of equipment

or technology to do that, so i...

Silence! Make it happen, Jamie!

- God.

- Do it quickly. Something's coming.

Good luck with that, sweetheart.

Moose, don't.

Hey, Jamie, if you want,

I can help you with that.

- No, Mickey, I'm okay.

- I'll give you a boost or something.

No.

How's that

for 360-motion sensors?

I wish we could

just do it like this.

- I can't get it in. -No, dude, no.

Don't start on that one yet.

- Why? -Cause I don't

got this one in.

Oh, man, look at this mess

of a human being.

Dude, over there.

Get him!

You're gonna find him,

if you just keep looking around

with the camera,

you're gonna find Bigfoot.

You are crazy!

Hey, so, I think we're down

to our last battery.

Uh, I think we should

be okay, moose.

Do you think Steve's

gonna be okay?

- Oh, yeah, he'll be fine.

- Oh, god, I don't know.

Right now he's doing some sort

of a native American dance

- to help bring the beast to life.

- What?

- Look at him.

- -At least he looks good.

Uh, no he does not.

Okay, so, our Van is parked

four miles away.

- We should really start hiking early.

Yeah? -Okay.

Show yourself! Show yourself,

you bastard of a beast, you!

Okay, then, well, you know what?

I'm gonna be much happier

- when we're on the road again.

- Yeah, tell me about it.

I'm dancing for you,

you mammoth

of a monster bastard.

- What is he saying? -Hmm, sounds

like my uncle Dave at weddings.

So what are you gonna do

with your $1,000?

Oh, I'm not gonna take it.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Why not? That was the deal.

I don't know.

- I feel bad.

- Well, I don't.

This two weeks has sucked.

- Oh, they've sucked, moose?

- Yeah.

Have they? Yeah.

You've had fun.

- Just admit it.

- She got you.

Stop it.

You, especially you, stop it.

Here, you know what? Whenever

I'm going to bed, take this.

- Yeah, I'm going to bed, too.

- Guys! Guys, come here!

Come quick! I found him!

I found the beast!

Okay, I'm gonna punch him

in the face.

That's it, he's dead.

He's over here!

He's glorious!

- No, he's not glorious.

- Hey, Steve?

Over here! Come quick!

- Where are you?

- I'm over here.

He's gonna get a glorious fist

in the face.

- It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!

- -What is he saying?

Oh, gosh, what is it, dude?

He's right here.

- What?

- Who?

He's right here!

- What is that?

- Is that a turtle?

- What?

- -I said, is that a turtle?

- Oh, Steve.

- No, it's Bigfoot.

- Steve, it's a turtle.

- No, it's Bigfoot!

It's the beast!

Steve, that is

a freaking turtle, man!

What do you mean?

It's Bigfoot!

No, it's a turtle!

You're... you're gone, dude.

- Where are you going?

- Captain crazy, man.

Hey, that's a turtle, Steve.

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