The Boondock Saints Page #3

Connor flicks his cigarette butt out the large open loading

doors at the end of the hall. The red brick buildings stretch

down the alley both ways. The glowing butt falls to a filthy

resting place, directly next to a dented green dumpster with

half the paint job scraped off.

INT. CONNOR AND MURPHY'S APARTMENT EARLY EVENING

This is a decrepit, illegal loft. The boys enter, hang their

rosaries by the door and begin taking off their clothes.

Connor sits naked on the couch and gently places a bag of

ice on his crotch. Murphy stands naked in the open quantity

shower. Murphy turns on the water and sticks his hand in the

stream.

INT. CONNOR AND MURPHY'S APT EARLY EVENING

Connor, still seated, cracks open a Guinness and sips it

lovingly. The phone rings.

CONNOR:

Hello.

MOM (V.O.)

Connor, is that you?

Something is obviously wrong in her voice.

CONNOR:

(interested)

Mother, is that you?

MOM (V.O.)

Is that worthless brother of your

there? I want you both ta hear this.

CONNOR:

Ma, what's wrong?

Murphy shuts off the water.

MURPHY:

No f***in' hot water man. That...

CONNOR:

Shut it. It's Ma.

Murphy sees the concern in Connor's eyes and takes a step

closer.

MOM (V.O.)

It's all your fault. Both you little

bastards. I was a fool to believe

you would bring me any peace. The

day your Da left us when you were

almost too young to remember, he

said the two of you would do me right

and make me proud, but he was wrong

and I got nothin' ta live for.

CONNOR:

Mother, what are you sayin'? You're

talkin' crazy here.

Murphy is drawing closer with concern.

MURPHY:

What's the matter with her?

INT. ANNABELLE MACMANUS' HOUSE IRELAND NIGHT

A wrinkly female hand grabs a large revolver resting next to

a half empty bottle of Hennessey.

MOM:

I finally found your Da's army

revolver, Connor.

INT. CONNOR AND MURPHY'S APT EARLY EVENING

CONNOR:

What the hell are you doin' with

Da's gun!?

MURPHY:

(widening eyes)

What the...?

MOM (V.O.)

I got it ta my head now.

I got it ta my head now.

CONNOR:

What?! What are you doin'?

MOM (V.O.)

I want ta tell ya one last thing

before I pull the trigger.

CONNOR:

(screaming)

Pull the trigger?! Have ya lost it

woman?! Now just calm down here.

MURPHY:

(eyes widen)

Oh my god!

MOM (V.O.)

I...

CONNOR:

No ma! No!

MOM (V.O.)

BLAME...

CONNOR & MURPHY

Oh Jesus, No! No! Oh God! No Ma!

MOM (V.O.)

YOU...!

Connor and Murphy are both screaming in panic.

EXT. ANNABELLE MACMANUS' BACK STOOP NIGHT

Mom stands on the back stoop holding the door ajar with her

hip. She holds the phone receiver up in her left hand and

the gun directly next to it, in her right. She squeezes off

a loud shot toward the heavens.

INT. CONNOR AND MURPHY'S APT EARLY EVENING

As soon as the deafening sound pierces through the receiver,

Connor instinctively jumps up to a standing position. The

bag of ice bursts as it hits the floor and spreads across

it. He throws the receiver and covers his ears with both

hands.

The phone then falls to the ground, skipping through the

cubes as the boys dive for it screaming. The two naked,

hysterical boys fumble for the phone, flailing on their

stomachs in the field of ice. They finally catch it and both

put their ears to the receiver in panic. As they scream MA

intermittently, the pauses get longer and longer.

INT. ANNABELLE MACMANUS' APARTMENT NIGHT

Mom's got her hand covering her mouth, face red from holding

back laughter, as she walks back into the house. She can

take it no longer and she bursts out with hearty guffaws.

INT. CONNOR AND MURPHY'S APARTMENT EARLY EVENING

The boys are relieved, but angry.

CONNOR:

(grabs his balls,

rolls over)

Aaaww, sh*t!... evil woman!

MURPHY:

Lord have mercy. That was a good one

ma.

MOM (V.O.)

Oh, Jesus! No ma! Christ ma! No!

Murphy holds the receiver in the air. Mom's still laughing.

MURPHY:

(to Connor)

Oh, she's quite proud of herself.

MOM:

Okay, seriously, both you listen ta

me now.

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