The Boondock Saints Page #6

SMECKER:

(transfixed on Greely)

Why don't you get me a cup of coffee.

GREENY:

What the f***?

SMECKER:

Café latte.

GREENLY:

Who the...

SMECKER:

Twist of lemon!

GREENLY:

(to Chief)

Chief, what the f*** is this?

SMECKER:

Sweet-n-low!

Greenly looks helplessly to the Chief, who simply nods. He

storms off the scene, upset. Smecker turns his back on

everyone and puts earphones in. He reaches down and hits

play. The choir song "Agnus dei" overtakes. He begins to

investigate. He kneels at the bodies for a moment then stares

at the opposite brick wall. He picks up a piece of porcelain

and scrapes it with his thumb.

He quickly c*cks his head toward the sky and begins to chuckle

as he says Jesus Christ, under his breath. He brushes some

paraffin on each of the dead men's hands. Duffy and Dolly

watch defiantly. They start to smile at one another as they

collectively realize his homosexuality. He is slightly

effeminate buy not overly fey.

SMECKER:

(loudly)

Mitchell, Langley!

Two uniformed officers approach.

MITCHELL:

Yes sir.

SMECKER:

Find the manager of this building.

See if he has had any complaints of

water coming down in any apartments,

starting just this morning. If he's

not there, knock on every door

starting from the third floor up.

Langley, you take this building,

same thing.

Mitchell and Langley exit.

SMECKER:

Chaffey, Newman.

Two more uniforms approach.

CHAFFEY:

Yes sir.

SMECKER:

(to Chaffey)

Look in the trash around their hands.

See if you can find me two bullet

casings. 45's, if my eye serves me

right. Don't disturb them. Mark them

as they lay. Newman, root through

this sh*t.

(points to the mountain

of garbage)

If this was a sink find me some metal

parts. Gimme a faucet or a drain

cover or something.

The two begin their tasks. Chaffey finds a casing near

Checkov's hand, hidden under the edge of the pile.

CHAFFEY:

Got it. It's a 45.

The homicide detectives are surprised as Chaffey looks for

the second shell. Smecker lights up a smoke.

SMECKER:

Chief, could you get ballistics down

here and tell them they have to dig

a 45 slug out of a brick wall.

He points to a bullet hole in the opposing and tattered wall.

SMECKER:

...and locate another that's been

fired through a dumpster.

He points to another bullet hole at the dumpster's base.

CHIEF:

I got the best ballistics guy in the

world. He's mobile. Got all his stuff

right in the van. Can have him down

here in 10 minutes.

DOLLY:

How did you know that?

SMECKER:

Paraffin came up positive. And bullet

holes are usually a big clue.

CHAFFEY:

I can't find the second one, sir.

SMECKER:

Look under the body.

CHAFFEY:

(obeys)

Got it.

Smecker turns to detectives with a smirk.

SMECKER:

You guy's ready for this?

They both nod.

SMECKER:

This was no gangland assassination.

Though creative, it was way too

sloppy. Something went wrong here.

This has personal written all over

it. Now, these men were crushed and

the first natural reaction the body

has to such trauma is to tense up.

So now the two shots fired here were

reflex rounds. These guys weren't

shooting at anything, but they were

just about to.

Mitchell returns.

MITCHELL:

Agent Smecker,

(pointing to MacManus

building)

This is all illegal loft housing so

there's no manager on the premises

but I found a lady on the fourth

floor said she's had water dripping

down on her whole place. Started

just this morning.

SMECKER:

Fourth floor huh? Then we're heading

to the fifth. Let's go up and see

just how right I am.

INT. MACMANUS' APT. BUILDING FIRST FLOOR MORNING

The detectives pile into the elevator, Smecker last. Greenly

has rejoined them. Smecker sips his latte.

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