The Borderlands Page #2

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is one of the most sacred and

significant you may declare.

I baptize thee

in the name of the Father,

the Son and the Holy...

What's that?

Father...

That is mental! Have you seen this?

- Yes.

That is nuts!

It's great.

So how long have you been

here, father Crellick?

This has been a project of

mine for a few years now.

The diocese finally acquiesced and we

opened just over two months ago.

These are the church records

you asked for.

Great, thanks.

I don't quite understand. These

cameras, are they necessary?

We have to fully investigate every claim.

Claim?

What claim? We all saw it!

It was a very impressive video, father

Crellick, else we wouldn't be here.

It's not brain surgery.

It's a fundamentally simple kit.

HD cameras.

In this case:
pro 5-80s.

Electric screwdriver -

one for me,

one for you.

Okay.

It's getting late. Fancy a drink?

- Yeah.

Evening.

- Evening.

Gray, let's get these off, yeah?

You got Wi-Fi here by any chance?

Dude, I can't believe that video.

That's nuts. I must have

watched that 50 times today.

What happens if we

actually find something?

If we see something we report

it and then they decide

whether to follow it up.

What, that's it?

- Yeah, that's it.

And then we're onto the next job.

We're here to observe and report.

We don't make the decisions.

They only recognize miracles

in very, very few cases.

Look, we get a lot of time wasters.

- But that video

is impressive. I mean,

you said that yourself!

No, no, no, it is, definitely!

I didn't think

father Crellick had it in him. I thought

we would have seen the strings.

You're saying all that was fake?

- Yes.

What, all the stuff?

Even that thing at the end?

- What - on the camera?

I don't know. It was a

glitch or something.

So that girl in Spain last year, with the

stigmata. You can't fake that.

- No, I was there for that one.

And?

- Fake.

No it wasn't.

- And not a very good one.

Dude, you can't fake stigmata,

there are holes in your hands.

So what was it - hidden blood

capsules or something?

No, it was much simpler.

Every day for ten weeks the girl's mother

cut her hands and feet open.

The girl got septicemia. Do you

know what her mother said to me

after she died?

Now you can make my girl a saint.

I see his nibs has arrived.

My dear brother Deacon.

The prodigal son returns.

You are still one of us,

aren't you, Deacon?

Hello Mark, how's is

the Vatican these days?

You should really come and see

for yourself once in a while.

And this must be our technical

specialist. I'm Father Amidon.

Alright, how're you doing?

- Call me Mark.

A pleasure.

- Sorry about the delay,

I was at a fundraiser in Boston.

I'm really intrigued to see the set up.

We've got all the cameras set up on site.

- The regulations clearly state

that the entire team must be in

place before commencing anything.

That would mean...

- Don't blame him, Mark.

It was my idea.

- Why am I not surprised about that?

Yeah, well... Church records.

Thought they might be useful.

Right.

Gray.

Yeah. Night, mate.

You'll be wanting to fit my

head cam, no doubt.

Yeah, sure.

He can be very persuasive,

our brother Deacon.

He doesn't really like taking orders.

All you need to remember,

Gray, is who's in charge.

Right.

Chip forks,

tartar, ketchup, what not.

Tuck in.

Did you hear that?

Listen!

You're imagining things.

- Let's eat, it's getting cold.

What the f*** is that?

- Where's the fire extinguisher?

Are you alright?

Stay back, stay back!

What is it?

What happened?

What are you doing?

Deacon?

- It's a sheep.

A what?

- A sheep.

Dear God!

I don't know.

- Is that blood?

Oh, these kids.

Oh my God.

Just keep breathing. It's okay...

An incident.

Well, someone killed an animal,

a sheep, outside our cottage.

They set fire to it. They, they burnt

it. The poor creature was in agony.

No, I didn't see the people who did it.

It was kids, I think.

Kids from the village.

Our Father who is in heaven,

who has shown us this glorious

miracle in your house of worship.

Please show yourself again!

"Our father who art in heaven,"

"hallowed by thy name."

"Thy kingdom come."

"Thy will be done, on

earth as it is in heaven."

"Give us this day our daily bread."

"And forgive us our trespasses,"

"as we forgive those who

trespass against us."

"And lead us not into temptation,"

"but deliver us from evil."

You still up?

- Yeah, can't sleep.

You gonna wear that thing to bed?

No, I'll stick it on charge in a minute.

You alright, Deacon?

Yeah.

You?

Yeah, I'm alright...

What are you reading?

- What's this?

It's a journal from Dr. Pritchard

Mandeville. Now he was the last

minister of the church before

it closed around 1880.

Apparently the Lord came to him in these

dreams and called him here and told him

to open an orphanage nearby.

Let's have a look.

"A curious town,

none too pleasant for it."

"The locals are a solemn bunch

and the skies are leaden grey."

Well, I know how he feels.

You know, I thought I was gonna

get sent home earlier on.

Listen, I wouldn't worry about it. Mark

just likes to do things by the book.

He's probably not best pleased that one

of the team members isn't even religious.

Hey, I believe in stuff, just

not as much as you two.

Yeah, well, he'll come round.

Or you will.

Father Crellick, nice to meet you at last.

You do look a little tired, Father

Crellick. Are you alright?

You know, it wouldn't do any harm

if you went away for a day or two,

think about something else.

We will be very thorough,

I assure you.

We will need full access to the church.

Of course.

The keys to the kingdom.

Father Crellick has left the site.

Now we're going to examine the altar.

Church built around 1260. It's a small

parish enclave on top of a hill.

And here's the crucifix.

Solid enough, nothing hidden underneath.

Yeah, it might not be the same

one. Could be a duplicate.

Note:
Must cross check crucifix

against video footage.

Are you mental? I mean,

Crellick was standing here, right?

And he was holding a baby.

How's he gonna move all that lot?

- You mean, how did he move all that lot?

I can't believe you two

are so sure it was him.

Hang on.

Yep, I've got an idea.

There you go.

Ah, there it is. - What?

- See it? - No.

Wind the tape back.

Right, watch it again.

Look at the altar table.

The water, it's vibrating.

Exactly! A speaker under

the altar would do that.

And there's definitely some fixture

holding something under there.

What, like a subwoofer?

- Yeah.

You saw the size of his congregation?

This is his chance for notoriety.

You know,

headline in the local newspaper,

maybe a bit in the evening news.

People will start flocking back in,

and even if eventually the Vatican

doesn't recognize the miracle -

well, by then the coffers are full.

Yeah, some of these people think

they are doing the church a favour,

when in reality all they are doing is

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