The Boss

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1

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Come on. Let's go.

Wait a minute!

You can't just return them.

They said I wasn't a good fit.

There'll be another family, Michelle.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, come on! Wait a minute!

What's the matter with me?

Not a thing, Michelle.

God's children are all perfect.

In their own way.

(ROCK BALLAD PLAYING)

F*** you!

Never lose hope, Michelle.

There's a family out there for everyone.

Come on, Agnes. Families are for suckers.

Don't worry about me. I don't need anybody.

I'm going straight to the top.

Michelle. Michelle?

AUDIENCE CHANTING: Michelle! Michelle!

- Michelle!

- SISTER ALUMINATA: Michelle?

MALE ANNOUNCER:
She's the CEO

of three Fortune 500 companies

and the best-selling financial author

of Money Talks, Bullshit Walks.

The one, the only, Michelle Darnell!

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

Who wants to make some money?

(MAN SHOUTING)

I can't hear you, Chicago!

Get those hands up!

Come on! There we go!

(RAPPING) MD going in on the verse

'Cause I never been defeated

And I won't stop now

Keep your hands up, put 'em in the sky

For the homies didn't make it

and my folks locked down

I never went nowhere

They're saying 'Chelle's back

Blame it on the conjure

They call it M.D.-ac

Can't never count me out

Y'all better count me in

Got twenty bank accounts

Accountants count me in

Make millions every year

The Chi's champion

'Cause all I do is...

MALE ANNOUNCER:
Give it up for T-Pain!

All I do is win, win, win no matter what

Got money on my mind

I can never get enough

And every time I step up in the building

Everybody hands go up

And they stay there

And they say yeah

And they stay there

Up down, up down, up down

'Cause all I do is win, win, win

And if you goin' in put your hands in the air

Make them stay there

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

MICHELLE:
Thank you, Chicago!

Thank you. All right.

WOMAN:
I love you!

Thank you. I love you, too.

My name is Michelle Darnell

and I am the 47th

wealthiest woman in America.

How wealthy am I?

I had Destiny's Child reunite

only to have them come over

to my personal living room

so I could watch them break apart again.

Huh?

How did I get to my success level?

What's my secret?

I worked myself silly.

Okay, number one.

You work your ass off to get what you want.

Number two.

You do not let other people drag you down.

'Cause they will.

They are an anchor in your life

that you do not want.

Cut 'em loose and sail off.

If you work this program...

You. Will. Get. Rich.

And I'm not talking about chump change.

And I'm not talking about some

loose dollar bills at the bottom of your purse.

I'm talking about real f***ing money!

Life-changing money!

AUDIENCE CHANTING:

Real f***ing money! Real f***ing money!

That's how you do it.

Now let's go make some money!

Thank you, Tito. What a night!

That's right, MD.

(LAUGHING)

Yeah.

I'm amazed that the United Center

is even still standing

because I crushed it tonight.

You crushed it like velvet.

Like velvet!

Send T-Pain some "thank you" flowers.

- Okay?

- Okay.

Look into getting more fire power to that bird.

Absolutely. More power.

No. The fire marshal almost shut us down

based on the pyrotechnics we used tonight.

I don't think that's an option.

Let's hire a new fire marshal.

CLAIRE:
I don't think you can

hire a fire marshal.

I think it's a city-appointed position,

but I'll look into it.

TITO:
All she does is win, Claire. Toot-toot!

CLAIRE:
I got this, Tito.

Okay? You can sit this one out.

MICHELLE:
Claire?

Oh, teeth whitening. Sorry. Sorry, yes.

- My God.

- Sorry.

- Hmm.

- I have to remind you. That seems...

That seems like a little the opposite, right?

Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, I think if you keep your...

You need to keep your tongue

inside your mouth for this to work.

Last week you very

specifically said, "Keep tongue out."

- No.

- You did say that, Claire.

I said, "Get your tongue out of the picture."

She's got to breathe, Claire.

Somebody must be hungry.

Somebody gets very crabby

when she's hungry.

You're a little hangry, Claire.

I'm not hangry, Tito.

Hungry and angry. You hangry, Claire.

Sixty seconds of no talking.

'Cause this has to set for 60 seconds.

I've been waiting. I mean, I'm in here.

You're the only one that's talking, Claire.

You're the only one talking. It's hilarious.

It's like that classic comedy gag,

"He's on my baseball."

Who's on my baseball?

Who's on my baseball?

- Uh, who's on my baseball? (CHUCKLING)

- (MICHELLE CHUCKLING)

- Oh, no it's...

- Who's on my baseball?

I think it's, "Who's on first.

What's on second? I Don't Know is on third."

Right?

- I don't think that's...

- Uh, no.

I think you're on my baseball.

- TITO:
Who's on my baseball?

- First base.

(MICHELLE AND TITO LAUGHING)

(SINGING) What's on my baseball?

Baseball

Great. So, since I have you for a second,

you told me to remind you

exactly a year ago today

that it's been three years

since my last pay increase.

I don't think that's true.

That doesn't ring...

Does that seem accurate to you?

That sounds false.

But you crushed it tonight!

CLAIRE:
It's not false, Tito.

It's entirely accurate.

And I wrote down what you said.

Oh, Claire,

I don't know why you always have to quote.

"Claire, exactly one year from today

"I'm going to give you a raise so big

"you'll cream your jeans

and shat your chaps."

Claire. That is wildly inappropriate.

MICHELLE:
Wildly.

TITO:
Lowbrow, Claire.

CLAIRE:
I run your entire

organization, Michelle.

I do a great job.

I made myself available for you 24 hours a day

while being a single mom, I might add.

I deserve a raise and a title change.

I'd like "Executive Assistant."

Now that surprises me,

'cause I did not know that you had a child.

Was that through...

Was that through intercourse?

Yes.

MICHELLE:
You know what? Good for you.

Michelle, if you can't give me a raise,

I can't continue to work here.

Well, look who

finally showed up to my seminar.

MICHELLE:
(CLAPPING)

'Bout time, Claire. I love it.

I didn't know if you were listening

all these years.

What am I always saying?

"Don't go in that room."

MICHELLE:
True. I do say that. But I also say,

"If you want something, you gotta take it."

Claire, you just took it.

And you grew a pair in the process.

I'm holding your earrings. (CHUCKLES)

You're holding a pair of earrings

that in 2001, I paid $62,000 for.

And that's your raise, now.

That's a good raise.

And you earned it.

Thank you.

Congratulations on your balls, Claire.

- MICHELLE:
Isn't Tito the greatest?

- (FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS)

CLAIRE:
I love Tito.

MICHELLE:
What are you doing up here?

Miss Darnell, this just came for you.

They said it was urgent.

(PHONE RINGING)

Oh, it's ringing.

MICHELLE:
(GROANS) Oh, boy.

Go for Darnell.

RENAULT:
(VIA PHONE) I will not be ignored.

Ah. (CHUCKLES)

MICHELLE:
Hi there, Ronald.

It's "Renault."

Why are you muscling in on my Takoro deal?

You know what? A little birdie told me

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