The Boss Page #2

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that Takoro was merging

with Samson International.

So I acquired the majority of the stock.

That's called insider trading, Michelle.

Which makes you a criminal.

You're going to be sorry

you ever dishonored me.

God, for the last time,

you're not a samurai, Ronald.

It's "Renault"!

No, it's not.

It's "Ron," and you're from Jersey.

Phil. Take off that ridiculous top.

You should never cover that up.

Okay.

Please don't forget

you have an interview first thing Monday.

MICHELLE:
We'll see.

Let me just... Let me just help you out there.

You'll regret this, Michelle!

(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

Get me the SEC.

Okay.

We are back with

the one and only, Michelle Darnell.

Let's talk about

your relationship with your mentor,

that mega mogul, Ida Marquette.

Well, Gayle, we've got a terrific relationship.

Really? I'm so surprised to hear that,

only because we came across this tape

the other day. Take a look.

- Oh.

- IDA:
I was Michelle's mentor.

It's so hard to describe her.

She's a business woman,

a visionary, a leader,

a natural born (BLEEPING)

cocksucker, a motherf***er,

an ass-wipe, a sh*t stain,

and sewer rat, f***-face, professional.

(SNICKERING)

Doesn't sound so chummy.

Oh, I think a couple of those beeps

were actually compliments.

That's one way to look at it.

Michelle, I want to talk about you.

That you were, basically,

abandoned as a child,

bounced around

from foster home to foster home,

and that, really,

you were raised in an orphanage.

No, no, no.

I was lucky enough to attend

a beautiful, lovely elite boarding school,

very much like Hogwarts, to give you a visual.

And almost as magical. I feel very lucky.

Where'd you get that?

GAYLE:
We've got

a really good research team,

and when I look at that picture,

I don't think "elite."

Can we talk about this for a second?

- This interview is over.

- Where are you going?

I was not trying to upset you, Michelle.

- Why are you leaving?

- MICHELLE:
You know what, Gayle?

Nobody spells "Gayle" with a "Y."

It's pretentious.

You've got a great story to tell.

Keeping the mic!

Gayle King ambushed me.

You get that segment pulled before it airs.

Miss Darnell, you're under arrest

for insider trading and defrauding

the Securities Exchange Commission.

Are you kidding me?

Would I kid you?

- Claire, call my lawyer.

- Okay.

Stay back.

What do you make a year? I'll double it.

Did you just try to bribe me?

No. I mean, unless you're tempted...

Hey! This is...

This is not reasonable. Claire!

- Don't fight it, Michelle!

- Let me go!

Ooh. Don't struggle, baby!

Renault ratted me out!

It's just insider trading! Everybody does it!

You are fighting with the wrong redhead!

(GRUNTS)

Yeah. I'm out.

I'mma get my job back at Best Buy. Boom!

God, you're the worst.

FEMALE NEWSCASTER: In breaking news...

Michelle Darnell was sentenced

to five months in federal prison

for insider trading.

- (DOGS GROWLING)

- Currently, Darnell Enterprise stocks...

I told you you'd regret it.

STEPHAN:
You can really hold onto a grudge.

I can't believe you two used to date.

RENAULT:
Ah. It was the Go-Go Nineties.

She was my yin, I was her yang.

Our bodies were intertwined,

but our spirits were in constant opposition.

Dynamic.

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(SOFT GROAN)

I got this promotion locked!

Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

Don't worry. Once I become senior VP,

nothing's gonna change between us.

It better not.

You look so f***ing rad when you do coke.

BRYCE:
Hey, guys! Guys!

What?

They're about to announce

who gets the promotion.

Pretty exciting, huh?

F*** off, Bryce!

BOSS:
All right, listen up, everybody.

I'd like you all to join me

in offering a hearty congratulations

to our newest senior VP.

Michelle Darnell!

Oh, my...

- What?

- (CHUCKLING) Oh, my God.

(STAMMERING)

I totally...

F*** off if you think that you can take

my client list and I wasn't gonna notice.

You b*tch.

Oh, thank you! That's so supportive, Ron.

I couldn't have done it without you.

Ron! Coffee!

"Ron" is gone.

End of broadcast.

(DOOR ALARM BUZZING)

MICHELLE:
It's bullshit, Marty.

I take one little tip from an insider

and I find myself in an absolute hellhole.

I mean, look at me,

fighting for my life in the yard.

MARTY:
Well, the news gets worse.

- All your accounts have been frozen.

- MICHELLE:
What?

Your shareholders have all sold off.

Renault is orchestrating a hostile takeover

of your entire holding company.

- No.

- Darnell Enterprises is bankrupt.

- Can he do that?

- Turn off the machine, Don.

No, he cannot.

Yes, he can. He actually did it beautifully.

(CHOKING)

That's my Adam's apple, you b*tch!

Claire, get me a new lawyer.

There's not gonna be another lawyer

if you don't have any money,

you stupid ginger!

You know what?

I'm a ginger, but I'm a natural redhead.

Not that you're ever gonna find out.

Because you will

never be invited into my basement.

I don't wanna see your basement!

MICHELLE:
Yes, you do!

And by the way, Claire works for me.

CLAIRE:
Actually, Michelle,

I can't work for you anymore. I got a new job.

I just came to tell you as a courtesy.

I would think a courtesy would be

you sticking with me

through my tough times, Claire.

I would. You know

I have a kid to think about, so...

You have a kid?

I can't tell if

you're joking because I did tell you

- that I do have a kid. And I...

- I am.

- Remember?

- Yes.

- You do?

- I am. I'm joking. I gotcha.

- Okay.

- Zinger.

MICHELLE:
Hello, gal.

I wasn't into you but I was flattered.

Okay, here we go.

Tom, do you mind grabbing that bag for me?

Kimberly, I thought you had today off.

Yeah, I knew you were leaving.

- You're sweet, Kimberly.

- (CHUCKLES)

Now, you're gonna remember what I told you?

- Yes.

- Okay?

Stocks are gonna go up and down.

The big money's in the long game.

- Thank you so much, Michelle.

- Thank you, Tom. You're so sweet.

- We're actually gonna miss you around here.

- (SIGHS)

Well, I would hope so! It sounds right to me.

All right, give me my freedom.

(BELL RINGING)

Yep, the air is sweeter out here.

Did you set up a ride?

No, I was assuming that a town car

or something would be provided.

KIMBERLY:
Lock it up, Danny.

(LAUGHING)

You know,

she thought a town car was coming!

Well, could you call a cab?

I'll get one myself.

MICHELLE:
Okay, this is

my house right up here. This is good.

(GRUNTS)

(SIGHS)

Oh, come on!

Hey!

Can you please stop ringing the door?

Hi. Does Claire Rawlings live here?

I don't know.

You don't know

because you're not very bright, or...

- I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.

- (MICHELLE CHUCKLES)

You know what? Are you Claire's daughter?

I thought you were in jail.

Aren't you charming

for yelling that out on the street like that.

May I?

No way.

MICHELLE:
Why not?

Because Mom's at work

and you're fresh out of prison.

Okay, white-collar crime doesn't count!

Yes, it does!

No, it does not. It does not.

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