The Boss Baby Page #6

You don't even know what it's like

to be part of a family.

And you don't know what it's like

to have a job!

You don't know anything about hugs,

or bedtime stories, or special songs!

Oh, please! Stop acting like a baby.

You're a baby!

You take that back.

My life was perfect until you showed up!

Believe me, kid, the feeling is mutual.

I wish I'd never met you!

I wish you'd never been born!

Where are you going?

Fine!

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

All your life

You were only waiting

For this moment to arise

Would Timothy Templeton please pick up

the white courtesy phone?

Timothy Leslie Templeton,

please pick up the white courtesy phone.

Leslie.

Hello?

It's me. Don't hang up, Tim!

Tim, I wasn't born. I was hired.

What do you mean?

Baby Corp is the only home I've ever known.

So you're right.

I don't know what it's like...

to be part of a family.

But I do care.

You do?

Yeah.

And the only way to save both

is to stop Francis Francis.

Yeah.

I can't do this without you, Tim.

I need you.

- I guess we do make a pretty good team.

- No.

Literally, I can't reach the door knobs.

Oh, right.

Don't worry, Tim.

We're gonna save your parents.

And your company.

But how do we get to Vegas now?

We're gonna need a miracle.

Follow that Elvis!

Why?

Where there's Elvis, there's Vegas!

There's another one!

And another one!

Elvises everywhere!

Tim, there's our flight!

And there goes our ticket!

Hey! Don't be cruel!

Sorry!

- Well, thank you!

- Oh, baby!

Well, thank you very much.

Hello.

Hi.

Ticket please.

One moment.

It's been stolen!

Impersonating an Elvis impersonator?

Get him!

Humina, humina, humina.

Stop!

The ghost of Elvis!

We gotta find seats!

Come on, this way!

What is this place?

This, Templeton, is first class.

Why is it empty?

No one can afford it.

That's what makes it so wonderful.

Hello! This is Captain Ross.

Ladies and gentlemen, and those in coach...

please fasten your seat belts.

We're about to take off.

What's the matter, Templeton?

My parents always hold my hand

during takeoff.

Boy, the stocks are crazy today.

Ladies and gentlemen, Captain Ross again.

As you can see,

I've switched off the seat belt sign.

What are you two boys doing up here?

We're Captain Ross's kids.

He told us to sit here.

Well, can I get you special guys anything?

Anything?

Anything.

Aye! All right, Francis Francis.

This will teach you

to kidnap the parents of One-Eyed Tim.

Oh, please. If only it were that easy.

What's your plan?

You're not gonna write a memo, are you?

No.

Come on. You said you never really

had a childhood, right?

Why don't you give it a try?

- No, I can't.

- It's fun!

Here, let's get you into character.

I don't know. I feel silly!

Go on! Say something mean to him.

All right, all right, all right.

So, you went to a community college, is it?

I don't know.

Keep going!

And you have the guts

to ask me for a bonus, now?

See!

Now you're getting into it.

Huh?

Well, blow me down.

Your exit interview is over!

That was pretty good.

Who was that guy anyway?

- The captain!

- What?

En garde!

Heave!

Ho!

Thar she blows!

Watch your stern!

- Aye!

- Dodge, parry, and thrust!

Sounds like a heck of a law firm!

Nice try! Heads up!

You're fired!

And here's your severance package. Ha!

Wait. You're not supposed to end with "Ha!"

You're not?

You're supposed to end with "Argh!"

Got it! Argh!

That's great!

Thanks! I just went with the flow.

Ladies and gentlemen, and those in coach...

on the left side of the plane...

you can see we're approaching

fabulous Las Vegas.

Land ho!

Ahoy, matey.

Bye, Dad! Thanks for the lift!

- Okay. What?

- Let's move.

- Going to the Heartbreak Hotel?

- I'm going to the Heartbreak Hotel.

- Me, too!

- Me, too!

Me, too!

We've gotta get to the convention center.

Should we get a taxi?

Darn! I spent all my per Diem.

That's more our speed.

Right.

Excuse me, ladies.

Can we get a ride home?

Jimmy's been sick,

and he needs his expensive medicine.

Where do you live, sweetie?

The convention center.

Bye, sweetie!

Have a fun lady party!

Chicks dig babies.

The people of Long Island do not know

how to make an iced tea.

Oh, no! How are we gonna find my parents

in here?

Tim!

Over there.

Okay, now where's Puppy Co?

Puppy Co, Puppy Co, Puppy Co...

Aha! Here it is. Found it!

But how did you...?

Hey! Where'd you go?

Not again!

Come on! I need you!

I'm back! I'm back.

What's going on?

That's right.

We're gonna launch a brand new puppy

in every continent.

In every country!

We're going to take over the world,

one heart at a time.

- Tim, there they are!

- Mom, Dad!

Imagine a puppy that never grows up...

never gets old.

A puppy that stays a puppy forever.

I give you the only thing you'll ever love...

the Forever Puppy!

Mommy?

Avert your eyes, Templeton!

Hey! What are you doing here?

Mom, Dad!

What are they doing here?

What are Tim and the baby doing here?

What are any of us doing here, really?

What is going on here?

He's got my parents!

We're really here to get them.

Get them!

Get the Forever Puppy!

We've got to get backstage.

In there!

Run!

Go, go, go!

Left, right! Left, right! Left, right!

Yes!

Fart. Poop. Doodie.

Look at all that formula.

Now that's how you launch a product.

Oh, no!

He's putting them under the rocket!

Elvis has left the building!

Mom, Dad...

I'm coming!

Atta boy! Go, Tim! Go, go!

Launch initiated.

I'm launching my Forever Puppies,

and there's nothing you can do about it!

No!

Baby Corp stole all the love from me...

and now I'm going to take it back from them.

You should understand what I'm talking about.

You got replaced just like me!

No! I'm nothing like you!

Bratty kid!

Let our parents go! His parents. The parents.

Yeah!

You could have had your parents' love

all to yourself again!

But no!

You blew it!

You let that baby boss you around.

He doesn't work for me.

We're partners!

I'm not ticklish.

Hey! Where's the baby?

Everyone has a tickle spot!

My ears!

Stop it!

Little brats!

Nothing is going to get in the way

of my vengeance.

Not you, not anybody!

Baby Corp is through.

I win! Ha!

Wrong!

You're not supposed to end with "Ha!"

- That's right!

- What?

You're supposed to end with...

Argh!

En garde!

You're fired!

And here's your severance package!

Take that, you scurvy scallywag!

Argh!

One minute and counting.

- Help!

- Anybody!

Rate this script:3.3 / 9 votes