The Boy Downstairs Page #5

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but both delicious.

That is a dynamite

combination.

- That's amazing.

- Right?

Yes.

Um, I would so love to,

but I have to work...

- Oh.

- ...early.

- OK.

- I'm sorry.

Yeah, I have to

work, too, Amy.

- I'm sorry.

- All right.

But you were...

you were so good.

Thank you.

You are... are so nice,

and get home safe.

OK.

And don't wait for me,

'cause I'm going to go party.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Hard.

- Go party so hardy.

- I'm going to.

You better.

- You deserve it.

- Bye.

- Bye.

- Congrats.

Congratulations.

Thank you so much

for coming, you guys.

All right.

I, um, well, I'm... we're

both going this way, right?

Do you want to...

Yeah, sure.

OK.

So hungry.

Yeah, me, too.

Um, listen.

We don't have to.

Uh, but I know this really

great Italian place.

It's just around the

corner, if you want to.

Uh...

We don't... you know,

we don't have to.

Yeah, no, let's do it.

Yeah, OK.

Get... get Italian food.

Yeah, great, let's get... yeah,

it's just, um, it's up here.

- Thank you.

- Thanks.

It's been so cold.

Yeah, uh, yeah,

yeah, it's almost...

almost winter, basically.

Yeah.

So how are you?

Oh, I'm...

I'm good.

- Good.

- Thanks.

Yeah, I hear you've been

making music, and... and that

it's going really well.

It's still a struggle.

But, yeah, I mean,

it's going pretty well.

I'm... I'm on the road.

Wait.

You're touring?

Oh, no, I'm sorry.

I meant the figurative road.

I can see how that

would be misleading.

Um, I'm... I'm working

in commercials.

That's great.

Yeah.

Ben, that's great.

Thanks.

Yeah, I'm... I'm

really happy for you.

Thank you.

How are you?

Um, yeah, I'm...

I'm, um...

You guys want

anything to drink?

Uh, yes.

I would love a glass

of your house red

and just some lemon

for my water, please.

We have no lemons.

You don't have lemons?

Nope.

I'm sorry.

But you have lemon

risotto on your menu.

WAITER:
Lemons

only for the food.

So you do have lemons?

We do.

Do you want a lemon risotto?

No.

No, thank you.

I... I just want a slice

of lemon for my water.

Well, the lemons

are only for the food.

Right.

Uh, OK, I... I will just

have the wine then, please.

OK.

Oh, yeah, I'll have...

I'll have the same.

OK, so two wines, zero lemons.

I wonder if they have lemons.

[laughter]

I wanted to ask him.

You should have asked.

He'll be back.

What?

Nothing.

Nothing, I'm gonna do the bread.

Yeah, let's do the bread.

Yeah.

Dare I ask for butter?

- I wouldn't.

- Yeah, no.

Yeah.

I'm not gonna do it.

Butter is for cooking.

I mean, what's inside a banana

is... is the banana's business.

There's no name for it.

Oh, no, we don't...

we don't... just that's

not our business.

You're right.

OK, but how many A's

are there in banana?

Seriously, like...

Like, 15.

...realistically,

there are, like, 20.

- Yeah, 15...

- No, like, 20.

I get... I'm actually

being serious.

I get it.

I do this all the time when I...

like, when I'm reading.

I lose sight of

words completely.

- Right?

- Yes, yes.

- OK, so I'm not alone here.

- You're not alone in the world.

- Thank you.

- I'm...

- Thank you.

- I'm here.

I needed that.

Amy was incredible tonight.

Yeah, yeah, she's...

she's, like, really good.

Yeah.

Is, um, Meg just

not a theater fan?

Um, uh, we broke up.

Sh*t.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, it's OK.

I, um, I didn't know.

I'm sorry.

No, it's... it's really OK.

Well, this is me.

This is you.

Uh, well, it was really

nice hanging out with you.

Yeah, um, yeah, I

had a really nice time.

No, Ben.

Um.

You know you flirt

with me, right?

What?

I... no, I don't.

I thought... um, I thought

you had a girlfriend

until, like, 90 seconds ago.

OK, I don't get it.

I mean, what... what

do you want from me?

I... I just want

to be your friend.

OK, uh, I feel like...

I feel like we've

been through this.

I can't be friends with you.

Ben.

Ben.

Does my tongue

look weird to you?

(SINGING) I want to make

believe that you're here.

Uh, all tongues

look weird, Diana.

Yeah, no, I know.

But, like, why does it

have that brownish tint?

I think you... didn't

you just have coffee?

Yeah.

Or you're dying.

Oh, yeah.

You're probably dying.

Am I dying?

More than likely, I'm doing.

No, no, no, what

are you doing?

That is not a fun game.

It's not a fun game?

No.

OK, OK, this is... this

is actually great.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Can I?

- Please, keep doing this.

- OK.

This is nice.

This is a friendly game.

(SINGING) I want to make

believe that you're here.

I won't let the image

of you disappear.

Well, why not?

Just because

you don't do that.

Turn it off.

Turn it off.

- Hello.

- Hi.

How are you?

Hi.

[chatter]

Barry, nice to meet you.

How was your drive up?

It was lovely.

Here, meet...

meet... meet Diana.

Diana, I'm Shannon.

- And you are?

- Hello.

Hello.

I'm Ben.

- Moisha.

- It was wonderful.

Moisha, nice to

see you, Moisha.

You look good.

You look very good.

- Thank you for having me.

- All right, let's go inside.

- Come on.

- Are you cold?

Any... any issues with the car?

- Oh, it smells so good.

- Uh, no.

- Did you check the oil?

- Was he a good driver?

- Did you get my text?

- Yes.

I... OK.

You're not supposed to

text him when he's driving.

[music playing]

(SINGING) Take my hand.

It's yours to hold.

Please, start.

Everybody, just dig in.

It looks very good.

Do you want some of this?

Uh, yeah.

Diana, these potatoes

are unbelievable.

I don't know how she does it.

Oh, thank you.

(WITH EAST COAST ACCENT)

Butter, if it's good,

it's always butter.

That's so true.

Diana loves butta.

I do.

I don't like butter,

but I love butta.

Try the potatoes.

OK, let's see.

Oh, my God, these are so good.

Good.

That's why we've been

together for 30 years.

30 years.

30 years, that's amazing.

We were your age when we met.

Aw.

And I have to tell

you, we still know how

to shmear each other's bagels.

Dad...

- If you get my meaning.

- Dad.

- Barry.

- No, stop.

Of course, we get your meaning.

Barry, don't embarrass him.

BARRY:
We're still

madly in love...

No, it's...

BARRY:
...with each other.

That's what marriage...

SHANNON:
Oh, speak for yourself.

BARRY:
We're crazy

about each other.

Speak for yourself.

- I'm crazy about you.

- Mm-hmm.

I love you.

- Mm-hmm.

- I love you.

Mm-hmm.

He's OK.

BARRY:
I'm OK.

SHANNON:
Yeah, just OK.

I'm really glad you came.

Oh, me, too, thank

you for having me.

It's nice to see Ben so happy.

Can I say something to you?

Yeah, of course.

OK.

I know I shouldn't say anything.

But he told me that you

seemed confused about what

to do when you move to London.

I just... be sensitive.

Just be careful with him.

Can you do that?

Yea... yes, yeah, of course.

Thank you very much.

Yeah.

Um, I'm going to get the

boys for the pots and pans.

Barry, Barry.

Hey.

Hey.

My mom put Hanukkah

gelt on our pillows.

How sweet is that?

That is very

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