The Boy Friend Page #2

YOU'VE GO EXACTLY 5 MINUTES!

OOH, I DON'T KNOW.

I FEEL FUNNY.

(STREET MUSICIANS PLAYING)

ZOOM!

YES?

I WANT THE BEST SEAT IN

THE HOUSE.

AH. NOW LET ME SEE.

YOU COULD HAVE:

THE ROYAL BOX.

I'LL TAKE IT.

EXCEPT THAT IT'S

PERMANENTLY RESERVED

FOR THE PRINCESS

ARTHUR OF CONNAUGHT.

WE OFTEN STAY WITH HER.

OH, REALLY.

NOW, HOW ABOU THE STAGE BOX?

HOW MUCH?

ONE POUND, PLEASE.

MUST BE A SMALL BOX.

HOW MANY ARE YOU?

WE ARE ONE!

ANY FURTHER ORDERS,

MR. DETHRILL, SIR?

JUST WAIT OUTSIDE.

ON NO ACCOUNT MUST MR. DETHRILL

BE DISTURBED, WOMAN.

- GET IT?!

- REALLY!

OH, WHY DOES SHE

HAVE TO HAVE:

SUCH BLINKING BIG

PLATES OF MEAT, ALPH?

NOW STOP WORRYING

AND TRY THAT FOR SIZE.

ROSEMARIE AND MISS SUKA

VOLLEN, THEN. OH, WELL.

IT FITS.

YES. OH, WELL, FIND THE

OTHER ONE,

AND YOU'RE READY

FOR THE BALL.

I HEAR YOU'RE

GOING ON.

YES.

ALL THE BEST.

YOU'RE NOT WEARING THOSE,

ARE YOU?

OH.

BUT, Y-YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!

GOOD LUCK.

ALL THIS IN ONE DAY.

IT'S TOO MUCH.

COME ON, CINDERELLA.

YOU'RE ON!

OH, HOW PERFECTLY RIPPING!

OUR VERY FIRST CARNIVAL BALL.

EN FRANCAIS, OF COURSE.

OH, I CAN'T WAI FOR THIS EVENING.

MY FROCK IS A DREAM.

SO IS MINE, AND

RATHER DARING, TOO.

I'M SURE MADAME DUBONNE WILL BE FURIOUS.

OH, NOT SHE.

I BET YOU:

SHE'LL TURN UP

IN SOMETHING:

FRIGHTFULLY SHOCKING!

(GIGGLING)

NOT DETHRILL, THE FAMOUS

MOVIE DIRECTOR!

HOW'D I KNOW WHAT SOR OF A THRILL HE IS?

LOOK FOR YOURSELF!

HE'S IN THE STAGE BOX.

WHY DIDN' YOU SAY SO?

WOMAN ON STAGE:

...ANYONE WHO ASKS ME!

YES! IT'S HIM.

WORD'S GOT ABOUT. MY

REPUTATION WILL BE MADE!

NO. WE'LL BE RUINED.

THAT GIRL!

CHORUS ON STAGE:

OOH, ISN'T SHE THE LIMIT!

THAT GIRL.

SHE CAN'T GO ON.

WE MUST STOP HER!

HE DON'T THINK

I'M ANY GOOD.

I CAN'T GO ON NOW.

OH, RING DOWN

THE CURTAIN.

WE'LL SEND THE

AUDIENCE HOME.

THEN I'LL GO AND REFUND

THE MONEY, SHALL I?

WAIT! LET ME FIX,

SPENDTHRIFT.

OH, LOOK!

HERE COMES POLLY BROWNE

ACROSS THE TENNIS COURT.

CHORUS:
POLLY BROWNE?

YES, AND SHE'S CARRYING

A LETTER.

CHORUS:
OH!

HELLO, POLLY!

OH, POLLY.

JUST THINK.

LONDON'S GREAT THEATER

LAND, WAITING FOR YOU.

HIS MAJESTIES,

THE PRINCE OF WALES,

THE DUCHESS,

THE ROYALTY,

THE DUKE OF YORKS,

THE QUEENS...

NOW THAT'S AN ICE RINK.

HOLD YOUR TONGUE, WOMAN.

IT'S HOLLYWOOD CALLING,

NOT THE PALACE!

POLLY.

LISTEN TO ME.

THE CAREERS AND LIVES OF

ALL THESE BOYS AND GIRLS

ARE DEPENDING ON YOU.

I'M NOT ASKING

FOR MYSELF.

BUT DO IT FOR THEM.

NOW, POLLY,

LISTEN TO ME!

YOU'RE GOING OUT THERE

AS A YOUNGSTER.

YOU'VE GOT TO

COME BACK...

A STAR!

NOW GET OUT THERE AND DO

YOUR DAMNEDEST!

HELLO, POLLY.

OH, HELLO, EVERYONE...

STAGE-WHISPERING: WHERE'S RITA?!

SHE GOT HER FOOT CAUGH IN THE TRAM LINE.

SHE'S IN THE HOSPITAL.

(LAUGHING)

PSST!

STAGE-WHISPERING:

OH, HELLO, EVERYONE.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

OH, HELLO, EVERYONE.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

WE DASHED INTO TOWN

THIS MORNING:

TO COLLECT OUR COSTUMES

FOR THE CARNIVAL BALL.

WE COULDN'T WAIT UNTIL

MONSIEUR GASTON DELIVERED THEM.

YOU MUST SEE MINE, POLLY.

YOU'LL ADORE IT!

OH, MINE.

YOU'LL BE GREEN

WITH ENVY!

OH, BE QUIET, CHAPS.

YOU KNOW WE'LL ALL BE JEALOUS

OF POLLY WHEN SHE GETS HERS.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING AS, POLLY?

I'M GOING AS PIERRETTE.

PIERRETTE.

CHORUS:
HOW DIVINE!

NOW DO TELL US:

YOUR SECRET, POLLY.

WHAT SECRET?

WELL, IF YOU'RE

GOING AS PIERRETTE...

WHO'S GOING...

AS PIERROT?

OH.

I STILL WANT I TO BE A SECRET.

CHORUS:
OH, POLLY!

BUT, I'VE HAD

ANOTHER LETTER...

FROM PARIS!

FROM PARIS.

HOW MARVELOUS!

AND WHAT DOES:

HE SAY?

HE SAYS HE'S...

MOTORING DOWN OVERNIGHT.

IN FACT...

HE SHOULD:

BE HERE ANY MOMENT...

- NOW.

- OH, HOW THRILLING.

AND HOW DOES:

HE SIGN HIMSELF?

DOES HE SAY,

"PASSIONATELY YOURS"?

OR, "YOURS ADORINGLY"?

OR DOES HE JUST SAY,

"WITH ALL MY LOVE"?

CHORUS:
OH, DO TELL

US ABOUT HIM, POLLY!

WELL, THERE AIN'T VERY

MUCH TO TELL, REALLY.

I EXPECT YOU KNOW

HOW I FEEL AS WELL AS I DO.

ANY GIRL:

WHO'S REACHED THE AGE

OF 17 OR THEREABOUTS

HAS BUT ONE DESIRE IN VIEW

EYES AND TEETH.

EYES AND TEETH!

SHE KNOWS SHE HAS

REACHED THE STAGE

OF NEEDING ONE:

TO CARE ABOUT:

NOTHING ELSE:

WILL REALLY DO:

CHILDHOOD GAMES ARE

LEFT BEHIND:

AND HER HEAR TAKES WING

HOPING THA IT SOON WILL FIND

JUST ONE THING:

WE'VE GOT TO HAVE

WE PLOT TO HAVE:

FOR IT'S SO DREARY

NOT TO HAVE:

THAT CERTAIN:

THING CALLED:

THE BOY FRIEND:

WE SCHEME ABOU AND DREAM ABOUT

AND WE'VE BEEN

KNOWN TO SCREAM ABOUT

THAT CERTAIN THING

CALLED THE BOY FRIEND

HE IS REALLY:

A NECESSITY:

IF YOU WAN TO GET ON

AND WE MIGHT AS:

WELL CONFESS IT, HE

IS OUR SINE QUA NON

WE SIGH FOR HIM:

AND CRY FOR HIM:

AND WE WOULD GLADLY

DIE FOR HIM:

THAT CERTAIN THING

CALLED THE BOY FRIEND

PIANO AND DRUMS!

WHAT MUS DETHRILL THINK?

IF ONLY WE HAD MONEY,

WHAT A SPECTACLE I'D SHOW THEM.

A ROYAL:

COMMAND PERFORMANCE!

(ORCHESTRA TUNING UP)

(ORCHESTRA PLAYS)

WE PLEAD TO HAVE

WE NEED TO HAVE:

IN FACT, OUR POOR

HEARTS BLEED TO HAVE

THAT CERTAIN THING

CALLED THE BOY FRIEND

(ORCHESTRA PLAYS)

WE'D SAVE FOR HIM

AND SLAVE FOR HIM

WE'D EVEN...

MISBEHAVE FOR HIM

THAT CERTAIN:

THING CALLED:

THE BOY FRIEND:

LIFE WITHOUT US:

IS IMPOSSIBLE:

AND DEVOID OF ALL CHARMS

NO AMOUNT OF IDLE GOSSIP'LL

KEEP THEM OUT OF OUR ARMS

WE'RE BLUE WITHOUT

CAN'T DO WITHOUT

OUR DREAMS JUS WON'T COME TRUE WITHOUT

THAT CERTAIN THING CALLED

THE BOY FRIEND:

POLLY, THE SPIRI OF ECSTASY.

RIDICULOUS!

OH, NO!

SHE'S FORGOTTEN THE STEPS!

(GIRLS SCREECH)

DEE DEE DEE DEE:

DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE

OOH, OOH, OOH

DEE DEE DEE DEE:

DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE

OOH, OOH, OOH

WHEE:

WE'RE BLUE WITHOUT

CAN'T DO WITHOUT

OUR DREAMS JUST...

DO A RUBY KEELER!

THAT CERTAIN:

THING CALLED:

THE BOY FRIEND:

(APPLAUSE)

HEH HEH. SHE'S DOING

ALRIGHT, HUH?

ALRIGH FOR PYGMALION.

SHE'S SUPPOSED TO COME

FROM WESTMINSTER,

NOT WAPPING.

WOMAN ON STAGE:

BOYS, BOYS.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE NO ALLOWED ON THE PREMISES.

YOU MUST LEAVE:

AT ONCE!

SEE YOU ON THE PLAGE!

SHARP AT 2:
00.

DON'T BE LATE, NOW.

TOODLE-OO!

MEN:
BYE!

GIRLS:
BYE!

BUT YOU STILL:

HAVEN'T TOLD US

MUCH ABOUT HIM, POLLY.

NOT EVEN HIS:

CHRISTIAN NAME.

WHAT IS IT, POLLY?

WELL, IT'S,

UM, UM...

KEEP IT, GIRLS. HERE

COMES MADAME DUBONNET!

CHORUS:
OOH!

(HUMMING)

(GARGLING)

A-HA...

HA-AH-AH-AH-AH

AH, TIENS, TIENS, MES

ENFANTS!

THIS IS NO:

WAY TO BEHAVE.

NOW THEN, ALL OF YOU

TO YOUR CLASSROOM...

WHERE MADEMOISELLE ALICE IS

WAITING TO INSTRUCT YOU

IN PETIT POIS.

MADEMOISELLE BROWNE!

GIRLS:
OUI, MADAME DUBONNET.

MADEMOISELLE DUBONNET:

MADEMOISELLE BROWNE!

MR. MAX, WHISPERING:

RITA! RITA!

PLAY IT LIKE RITA!

OH!

OUI, MADAME?

I WISH TO HAVE A LITTLE WORD

WITH YOU,

MA PETITE.

PROMENADE WITH ME INTO

LE JARDIN.

YOU CAN HELP ME GATHER

SOME HOLLYHOCKS!

DO NOT BE FRIGHTENED,

MA CHERE.

YOU HAVE DONE:

NOTHING WRONG.

I MERELY WISH TO ASK

IF YOU ARE COMING TO THE

BALL TONIGHT.

OH, YES, OF COURSE.

I'VE ORDERED MY FROCK.

I'M GOING

AS PIERRETTE.

OH, SO YOU HAVE A FRIEND

TO TAKE YOU, HUH?

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