The Boy Friend Page #6

I AM NOW. THE WIFE'S

OFF AFTER ME.

WHAT?

I'M OFTEN ASKED IF

I WOULD LIKE TO TRAVEL

AND VISIT OTHER LANDS

ACROSS THE SEA:

BUT THOUGH IT MIGH BE PLEASANT

I THINK THAT FOR

THE PRESENT:

THIS IS THE PLACE

WHERE I PREFER TO BE

LET OTHERS GO:

TO SWEDEN OR SIAM

I THINK I STAY:

EXACTLY WHERE I AM

THEY SAY IT'S

LOVELY WHEN A:

YOUNG LADY'S

IN VIENNA:

BUT IT'S NICER,

MUCH NICER IN NICE

IN AMSTERDAM OR BRUSSELS

THE MEN HAVE:

GREAT BIG MUSCLES

BUT THEY'RE NICER,

MUCH NICER IN NICE

I'VE HEARD THA THE ITALIANS

ARE VERY FOND:

OF DALLIANCE:

AND THEY'RE ALL SO KEEN

ON IT IN GREECE:

BUT WHATEVER THEY MAY SAY

THIS IS WHERE:

I WANT TO STAY:

FOR IT'S SO MUCH NICER

IN NICE:

SHE SAYS IT'S NICER,

MUCH NICER IN NICE

SHE SAYS IT'S NICER,

MUCH NICER IN NICE

SOME PEOPLE'S

ONE DESIRE IS:

TO GO TO BUENOS AIRES

BUT IT'S NICER,

MUCH NICER IN NICE

THE LAWS:

ARE RATHER VAGUE IN

THE TOWN OF COPENHAGEN

BUT THEY'RE NICER,

MUCH NICER IN NICE

AND SOME MAY:

LIKE A FLUTTER:

IN BOMBAY OR CALCUTTA

BUT THEY MIGHT HAVE TROUBLE

WITH THE POLICE:

OOH LA LA:

OTHER PLACES:

MAY BE FUN:

BUT WHEN ALL IS:

SAID AND DONE:

IT IS SO MUCH NICER

IN NICE:

BUT IT'S NICER

MUCH NICER IN NICE

AH HA HA HA HA HA!

BUT IT'S NICER

- MUCH NICER IN NICE

- DO SOMETHING!

OOH, LA LA!

BUT THEY MIGH HAVE TROUBLE

WITH THE POLICE:

OOH, MON DIEU!

THOUGH I KNOW:

A LOVE AFFAIR:

IS DELICIOUS:

ANYWHERE:

IT'S SO MUCH NICER IN NICE

SOME MAY LIKE A FLUTTER

IN BOMBAY OR CALCUTTA

BUT THEY MIGHT HAVE TROUBLE

WITH THE POLICE:

OTHER PLACES MAY BE FUN,

BUT WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE

IT'S SO MUCH NICER

SO MUCH NICER:

SO MUCH NICER:

IN NICE:

(LAUGHTER)

AND NOW I REALLY

MUST GO.

POLLY, WOULD YOU...

YES?

WOULD YOU KISS ME

GOOD-BYE?

YES, IF YOU

WANT ME TO.

WAS THAT ALRIGHT?

OH. OH, YES.

WORD PERFECT.

DETHRILL WILL:

WHISK YOU OFF:

TO HOLLYWOOD AFTER THIS.

OH, HOLLYWOOD? DON'T!

IF I JUST GET THROUGH

THE SHOW, IT WOULD BE

ENOUGH FOR ME.

IT WAS NICE OF YOU

TO REHEARSE WITH ME. THANKS.

OH, THAT'S ALRIGHT.

I WISH:

I WAS PLAYING TONY.

I'M GLAD I COULDN' FIND HIM.

HE SEEMS TO AVOID ME

OFFSTAGE.

YET HE'S VERY KIND.

I SUPPOSE I'M JUS NOT HIS TYPE.

I WONDER WHO HE'D...

REALLY GO FOR.

OH, WELL, IF SEEING

IS BELIEVING,

I RECKON IT'S SOMEONE

LIKE DULCIE.

(WHISTLING)

HEY, TOOTS,

YOU'RE QUITE A HOOFER.

OH! TA!

I'LL HAVE TO TEACH YOU

THE DOUBLE TRIP...

MAXIE FORD...

WITH A KNICKERBOCKER

BREAK.

THAT'S GOOD.

WHERE'D YOU LEARN THAT?

SEARCH ME, TOOTS.

YOU SEE, AS A KID

I WAS KICKED:

IN THE HEAD.

AND WHEN I CAME TO,

AMNESIA...

(MUSIC PLAYS)

PERCY, PERCY

PLEASE HAVE MERCY

WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS

BE SO SAD AND GLOOMY?

WHY CAN'T YOU BE

A LITTLE NICER TO ME?

CHERI, CHERI

PLEASE BE MERRY:

WHEN I AM TRYING

TO BE BRIGHT AND JOLLY

IT ISN'T NICE TO BE

SO MEL-AN-CHOLY

OH, DEAR

I GOT THE YOU-DON'T-WAN TO-PLAY-WITH-ME BLUES

DON'T-WANT-TO-PLAY

WITH-ME BLUES

IT'S CLEAR

I GOT THE YOU-DON'T-WAN TO-STAY-WITH-ME BLUES

DON'T-WANT-TO-STAY

WITH-ME BLUES

I AM:

SO GOOD:

AT SPREADING MIRTH

AND JOY:

BUT IT'S

NO GOOD:

WITH SUCH A SULKY BOY

I TRY:

TO PLAY THE GAME

THE OTHER FELLOWS ALL CHOOSE

THE OTHER FELLOWS

ALL CHOOSE:

I SIGH:

BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS

REFUSE:

(RI-I-IIP)

WHAT IS A GIRL:

TO DO?

(SNAP!)

WITH SUCH A BOY AS YOU?

I'VE GO THOSE DREARY

WEARY:

YOU-DON'T-WANT-TO

PLAY-WITH-ME BLUES

OH, DEAR

I'VE GOT THE YOU-DON' WANT-TO-PLAY-WITH-ME BLUES

DON'T-WANT-TO-PLAY

WITH-ME-BLUES

IT'S CLEAR

I'VE GOT THE-YOU-DON' WANT-TO-STAY-WITH-ME BLUES

DON'T-WANT-TO-STAY

WITH-ME BLUES

I AM SO GOOD:

AT SPREADING MIRTH

AND JOY:

BUT IT'S NO GOOD

WITH SUCH A SULKY BOY

I TRY:

TO PLAY THE GAME

THE OTHER FELLOWS ALL CHOOSE

THE OTHER FELLOWS

ALL CHOOSE:

I SIGH:

BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS

REFUSE:

WHAT IS A GIRL:

TO DO:

WITH SUCH A BOY AS YOU?

I'VE GO THOSE DREARY

WEARY:

YOU-DON'T-WANT-TO

PLAY-WITH-ME BLUES

I'VE GOT THOSE

DREARY:

WEARY:

YOU-DON'T-WANT-TO

PLAY-WITH-ME BLUES

SHE TOLD ME SHE HAD

A HEADACHE FROM THE CHARLESTON.

WELL, SHE DIDN' AT ALL.

I THINK THERE'S GONNA BE

TROUBLE WITH THE CHAPS.

HMM...MAYBE SOME PEOPLE

DON'T LIKE BEING

DOUBLE-CROSSED.

WELL, WE'VE GOT TO LOOK

AFTER OURSELVES.

(PIANO PLAYS)

MAISIE!

MAISIE!

MAIS...OH, HERE YOU ARE

AT LAST.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING

EVERYWHERE FOR YOU.

HAVE YOU?

I'VE BEEN FOR A BATHE

WITH FAY.

OH, WITH FAY. ARE

YOU SURE THERE WASN' ANYBODY ELSE

WITH YOU?

WHAT IF THERE WAS?

I CAN GO BATHING

WITH WHOM I CHOOSE.

I WISH YOU'D CHOOSE ME.

YOU'RE JUST A BOY.

MAYBE I WANT SOMEONE

MORE MATURE.

SAY THE RIGHT LINES

OR SHUT UP!

BUT MAISIE, WHY?

BECAUSE I WANT TO HAVE

A GOOD TIME WHILE I'M YOUNG!

AFTER ALL,

I'M ONLY 17.

HEH HEH.

BUT I CAN SHOW YOU A

GOOD TIME.

IT'S NOT AS IF I HADN'T GO PLENTY OF CASH.

MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING,

THOUGH IT CERTAINLY HELPS.

ONE MORE AD LIB:

LIKE THAT, TOOTS,

AND YOU'RE GETTIN'

A KNUCKLE SANDWICH.

HA HA HA.

BUT, MAISIE,

WHEN ARE YOU GONNA COME

AND SEE MY YACHT AGAIN?

YOU LIKED THAT,

DIDN'T YOU?

OH, YES!

IT'S A VERY DINKY YACHT.

I LIKE YACHTS.

MADEMOISELLE MAISIE.

OH, ALPHONSE!

HA HA HA HA! YOU

LOOK RAVISSANT!

BEHAVE YOURSELF:

OR I'LL BELT YA.

JUST TRY IT,

YOU LITTLE TWERP.

DO NOT FORGET TONIGH YOU WILL DANCE THE TANGO

WITH ME!

OF COURSE NOT!

MAISIE!

MICHAEL!

YOU LOOK ENCHANTING.

TONIGHT YOU AND I WILL

DANCE THE TWO-STEP, YES?

I CAN HARDLY WAIT!

PACK IT IN,

YOU OLD COW.

DROOP OFF,

YOU FADED PANSY.

OH, PETER!

I, TOO, WANT TO DANCE

WITH YOU AT THE BALL,

YOU BEAT UP OLD BAG!

AND SO YOU SHALL... YOU

BALD-HEADED OLD LETCH!

MAISIE!

LISTEN TO ME!

ALL:
LISTEN TO

ALL OF US.

YOU'RE SO FASCINATING,

BUT IT'S AGGRAVATING

THAT YOU KEEP US

WAITING TO HEAR:

WHICH ONE WILL BE

YOUR FAVORITE HE

YOU'RE SO VERY TAKING

THAT OUR HEARTS ARE BREAKING

SO YOU SHOULD BE

MAKING IT CLEAR:

WHICH ONE OF US:

YOU'LL RATE ALPHA PLUS

NOW LISTEN:

BO-OYS

YOU SHOULD RECALL

I'VE OFTEN SAID

I LOVE YOU:

ALL:

ALL:
YOU LOVE US ALL?

YES! I LOVE YOU ALL!

IT'S TIME YOU LEARNED

THAT I'M NO FOOL

WHERE LOVE'S CONCERNED

I STICK TO THIS:

RU-U-ULE

THERE'S SAFETY

IN NUMBERS:

THAT'S WHAT I BELIEVE

A GIRL WHO'S CUTE

AT MAKING LOOT:

IS NEVER LIKELY:

TO GRIEVE:

THE LADY WHO SLUMBERS

IS LEFT HIGH AND DRY

BUT I COULD MAKE

AN HONEST BUCK:

I ALWAYS BET:

ON LADY LUCK:

THERE'S SAFETY

IN NUMBERS:

AND THE MORE THE MERRIER,

SAY I:

YOU...ME...

HOLLYWOOD.

CASH REGISTER SOUND:

(KA-CHING!)

(KA-CHING!)

(KA-CHING!)

WHOO!

WHOO!

YA-HOO!

YIP-EE!

YA-HOO!

YA-HOO!

(KA-CHING!)

(KA-CHING!)

(KA-CHING!)

(SPEAKS FRENCH)

(APPLAUSE)

CAN YOU SPEAK FRENCH?

AH, FRENCH!

I THINK PERHAPS:

I'D BETTER BE

GETTING BACK TO:

THE VILLA.

I HAVE SOME:

LETTERS TO TYPE.

OH, DO YOU REALLY

HAVE TO GO SO SOON?

YES, I'M AFRAID I MUST.

BUT I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT,

WON'T I?

I SHOULD JOLLY WELL

THINK SO.

WHERE SHALL I:

MEET YOU?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

YOU SAY.

WELL...HOW ABOU THE BALL AT 9:00?

LOVELY.

I SHALL BE WAITING.

OH, DEAR.

TONIGHT SEEMS:

A VERY LONG TIME AWAY.

OH, IT'S NOT REALLY.

JUST A FEW HOURS.

YES.

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