The Boy Friend Page #7

AND IT'S GOING TO BE

A WONDERFUL EVENING,

ISN'T IT, POLLY?

YES, I'M SURE IT IS, TONY.

BUT IT'S JUST THE FIRST...

OF LOTS OF WONDERFUL

EVENINGS, ISN'T IT?

YES! A-AT LEAST,

I EXPECT SO.

BUT WHY:

SHOULDN'T IT BE?

I MEANT WHAT I SAID

THIS MORNING.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I COULD BE HAPPY

WITH YOU:

IF YOU COULD BE HAPPY

WITH ME:

I'D BE CONTENTED

TO LIVE ANYWHERE

WHAT WOULD I CARE

AS LONG AS YOU:

WERE THERE?

SKIES MAY NOT ALWAYS

BE BLUE:

BUT ONE THING:

IS CLEAR AS:

CAN BE:

I KNOW THAT I COULD

BE HAPPY:

WITH YOU, MY DARLING

IF YOU COULD BE HAPPY

WITH:

OH, NO, TONY.

I REALLY MUST GO.

POLLY?

YES?

WOULD YOU...

WILL YOU KISS ME

GOOD-BYE?

OH, YES.

IF YOU WANT ME TO.

HAVE YOU DECIDED?

I...LOVE...YOU!

OH...GOOD.

(FOOTSTEPS

APPROACH)

OH, GOSH!

OH, LOOK! IT'S TONY!

I'VE GOT A HOP IT,

QUICKLY!

BUT WHAT'S THE MATTER?

WE MUST STOP HIM!

HEY, YOU THERE! GENDARME!

GENDARME!

GENDARME! GENDARME!

STOP, THIEF! STOP!

CALLING THE POLICE?

OH, SURELY NOT!

ALPHONSE,

TELL ME QUICKLY.

WHO ARE THAT LADY

AND GENTLEMAN?

WHY, IT IS THE RICH MILORD

BROCKHURST AND HIS WIFE.

THEY SEEM TO BE:

CHASING A THIEF.

A THIEF? OH, NO!

IT COULDN'T BE.

AND YET, THEY ARE RICH,

AND HE'S PENNILESS.

HE TOLD ME SO HIMSELF.

OH, DEAR,

HE MUST HAVE KNOWN

ALL ALONG:

THAT I'M NOT A WORKING GIRL

BUT A MILLIONAIRE'S

DAUGHTER.

OH, DEAR.

HE'S JUST LIKE

ALL THE REST!

OH, POLLY, DID HE

STEAL SOMETHING:

FROM YOU?

YES, HE DID.

NOT YOUR GOLD BANGLE!

NO.

NOT MY GOLD BANGLE.

SOMETHING:

MUCH MORE PRECIOUS.

WHAT IS IT,

MA PETITE?

YOU LOOK QUITE PALE.

I THINK I CAN:

EXPLAIN, MADAME.

THAT MAN WAS...

NO HORTENSE.

YOU PROMISED.

WHAT IS IT, POLLY?

IT'S NOTHING, MADAME.

I'M JUST A LITTLE

DISAPPOINTED, THAT'S ALL.

YOU SEE...l SHAN'T BE

GOING TO THE CARNIVAL BALL

AFTER ALL.

I COULD BE HAPPY

WITH YOU:

IF YOU COULD:

BE HAPPY:

WITH ME:

I'D BE CONTENTED

TO LIVE ANYWHERE

WHAT WOULD I CARE

AS LONG AS Y-YOU

WERE THERE?

SKIES MAY NOT ALWAYS BE BLUE

BUT ONE THING:

IS CLEAR AS CAN BE

I KNOW THAT I COULD BE HAPPY

WITH YOU, MY DARLING

IF YOU COULD BE HAPPY WITH

ME:

HAPPY WE'D BE

(APPLAUSE)

MICHAEL, MICHAEL,

JUST SLIP DOWN TO THE

CANTINA CAFE:

AND GET ME THE:

IVY PERKINS TRIO.

IT'S NEARLY TEA TIME, MR. MAX.

THEY MAY BE PLAYING.

WELL, THEN GET ME

THE BEST MUSICIANS IN THE TOWN.

THERE ARE NO GOOD

MUSICIANS IN THIS TOWN.

WELL, THEN GET ME

ANYBODY!

(SPEAKS BAD FRENCH)

AH! HOLLYWOOD!

NO. 'OLLYWOOD.

'OLLYWOOD?

THEY DROP THEIR S

IN FRANCE.

(sesame)

HEY, WHATSA MATTER, POLL?

OH. NOTHING.

I'VE GOT SOMETHING

IN MY EYE, THAT'S ALL.

DON'T WORRY, POLLY.

YOU WEREN'T THAT BAD.

THE DOG, IN LIFE,

MAN'S FIRMEST FRIEND,

IS WOMAN'S CONSOLATION

IN THE END.

UH...UH...

OH, MY DARLING, MY...

WHERE IS HE?

- WHO?

- DETHRILL, OF COURSE.

I INVITED HIM ROUND

FOR DRINKS IN:

THE GREEN ROOM!

PERHAPS HE'S

COLORBLIND.

HO HO HO. VERY FUNNY.

YOU SHOULD BE:

ON THE STAGE.

YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO

BE AN OLD MAN.

SO WHY DO YOU KEEP DYING

YOUR WHITE HAIR BLACK?

MY PUBLIC WOULDN' RECOGNIZE ME

FROM MY PHOTOGRAPH

IN THE FOYER.

NO, I SUPPOSE

THEY WOULDN'T.

IT'S SO YELLOW

WITH AGE,

YOU'D HAVE TO

MAKE UP AS A CHINAMAN!

HA HA. JEALOUSY

WILL GET YOU NOWHERE.

IS THAT MY MELBA SPRAY

YOU'RE USING ON

THAT WRETCHED DOG?

SHE'S NOT A DOG!

SHE IS A KING CHARLES!

HA HA. NAME-DROPPING

AGAIN.

HELP ME ON WITH:

MY SPATS, WOMAN.

KA KA KA KA KA KA KA.

SHARP. POINT. SHARP. POINT.

HE'S THINKING OF TURNING

THE SHOW INTO A FILM.

HURRY UP!

TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK,

SHARP, POINT, HIP, BATH,

LUMP...

DID YOU BLANCO THEM?

OF COURSE!

AH. AH. AH. AH.

(BABY CRIES)

PSST!

(BABY CRIES)

WHEN EVERY DAY BEGINS

WHEN EVERY DAY IS DONE

HERE IN MY HEART

NEVER TO PART:

YOU'LL ALWAYS BE THE ONE

ALL I DO:

THE WHOLE NIGHT THROUGH

IS DREAM OF YOU:

WITH THE DAWN,

I STILL GO ON:

AND DREAM OF YOU

YOU'RE EVERY THOUGHT,

YOU'RE EVERY THING

YOU'RE EVERY SONG

I EVER SING:

SUMMER, WINTER, AUTUMN

AND SPRING:

AND WERE THERE MORE

THAN 24

HOURS A DAY:

THEY'D BE SPEN IN SWEET CONTENT

DREAMING AWAY:

WHEN SKIES ARE GRAY,

WHEN SKIES ARE BLUE

MORNING, NOON,

AND NIGHTTIME, TOO

ALL I DO:

THE WHOLE DAY THROUGH

IS DREAM OF YOU:

(TONY TAP DANCING)

THIS WAY, GENTLEMEN,

PLEASE.

UH, MR. MAX.

WHAT'S THIS?!

FRED KARNO'S ARMY?

WHERE'S THE IVY PERKINS

TRIO?

BUT YOU DID SAY:

GET ANYONE, MR. MAX.

AND I WAS THROWN OUT OF THE

CANTINA CAFE FDR SOLICITING.

WELL, THEY MUSTN'T BE SEEN.

THEY'LL HAVE TO PLAY

IN A RECUMBENT POSITION.

(GAGS) LET'S PRAY

FOR AN UPSTAGE WIND.

NOTHING MUST DISTRACT DETHRILL

FROM MY PERFORMANCE!

THAT GOES FOR YOU,

TOO, MISS.

YOU JUST SIT STILL

AND GIVE ME MY CUES,

AND I MIGHT TAKE YOU

TO HOLLYWOOD WITH ME.

AH HA HA HA...

(SINGS SCALES)

BONSOIR, MA PETITE.

OH...YOU STARTLED ME!

I THOUGH YOU WERE FRENCH.

OH! DID YOU HONESTLY?

WELL, I'M NOT.

(LAUGHS) I DIDN'T MEAN

TO BE RUDE!

OH, THAT'S ALRIGHT.

IT'S JUST THAT...

I'M RATHER FED UP

WITH FRANCE.

HA HA! I CAN'T IMAGINE

A PRETTY LITTLE THING LIKE YOU

BEING FED UP:

WITH ANYTHING!

WELL, I AM.

AND NOT JUST WITH

FRANCE.

I'M ALSO FED UP

WITH BOYS.

WITH BOYS?!

WELL, WHY NOT...

TRY SOMETHING OLDER?

SOMETHING...OLDER?

WHAT THE HELL:

DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE

A NURSE, NOT A TART!

HA HA HA!

SOMETHING OLDER...

LIKE ME, FOR INSTANCE.

I MAY BE TOO OLD

TO RUN A MILE:

RUN A MILE?

YES, RUN A MILE

BUT THERE'S ONE THING

I STILL DO VERY WELL

I MAY BE TOO OLD

TO CLIMB A STILE

CLIMB A STILE?

YES, CLIMB A STILE

BUT THERE'S ONE THING

AT WHICH I STILL EXCEL

ALTHOUGH MY HAIR

IS TURNING GRAY:

YES, IT'S RATHER

GRAY:

I STILL BELIEVE I WHEN I SAY

WELL,

WHAT DO OOH:

SAY?

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE

TO HAVE A FLING:

FOR AUTUMN IS JUS AS NICE AS SPRING

AND IT'S NEVER TOO LATE

TO FALL:

IN LOVE:

BOOP-A DOOP, BOOP-A

DOOP, BOOP-A DOOP

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE

TO WINK AN EYE:

I'LL DO IT UNTIL

THE DAY I DIE:

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE

TO FALL IN LOVE:

BOOP-A DOOP, BOOP-A DOOP,

BOOP-A DOOP

IF THEY SAY I'M

TOO OLD FOR YOU:

THEN I SHALL:

ANSWER, WHY, SIR

ONE NEVER DRINKS

THE WINE THAT'S NEW

THE OLD ONES:

TASTE MUCH NICER

A GENTLEMAN NEVER

FEELS TOO WEAK:

TO PAT A PINK ARM

OR PINCH A CHEEK

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE

TO FALL IN LOVE:

SAYS WHO?

SAYS ME:

SAYS YOU?

SAYS ME!

SAYS BOTH OF US TOGETHER

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE

TO WHISPER WORDS

CONCERNING THE WAYS

OF BEES AND BIRDS

AND IT'S NEVER TOO LATE

TO FALL IN LOVE:

WHACK-A-DO, WHACK-A-DO,

WHACK-A-DO!

PUSH ME BACK!

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE

TO FLIRT AND SPOON

A FIDDLE THAT'S OLD

IS MORE IN TUNE:

AND IT'S NEVER TOO LATE

TO FALL IN LOVE:

WHACK-A DOO,

WHACK-A DOO, WHACK-A DOO

THE MODERN ARTISTS

OF TODAY:

MAY PAIN THEIR PICTURES FASTER

BUT WHEN IT COMES

TO SKILL, I SAY

YOU CAN'T BEA AN OLD MASTER

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE

TO BILL AND COO:

AT ANY AGE,

ONE AND ONE MAKE TWO

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE

TO FALL IN:

NEVER TOO LATE:

TO FALL IN:

NEVER TOO LATE:

TO FALL IN:

BOTH:
LOVE

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

I PROUDLY PRESENT...

MY LATES CINEMATOGRAPHIC FANTASY

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