The Brady Bunch Movie Page #6

flashy rock star.

But I was just kidding myself.

Nobody liked my act.

I guess I just don't have what it takes.

Let's face it, Johnny Bravo's

nothing but Johnny Rotten.

You're right. Johnny Bravo

doesn't have what it takes.

But Greg Brady does. He has us. And

this family can accomplish anything.

Alone, we can only move buckets. But

working together, we can drain rivers.

Your father's right. Separate,

we're just eight. Well, with Alice, nine.

- Technically.

- And with Sam, ten.

But ten separate, just ten.

- Together, we're a bunch.

- Yeah, the Brady Bunch.

- What do you say, Greg?

- Please.

What are we waiting for?

Grab some costumes.

- We've got to make that contest.

- All right.

- Why am I so nervous?

- Stop. You're making me nervous.

Let's have a big hand for Phlegm!

You sounded hot.

Are you brain-dead? Leon missed

an entire riff. Didn't you hear it?

- I liked it.

- You're such a loser.

Hey, I'm sick and tired

of seeing you treat Holly that way.

In fact,

I'm sick and tired of you all together.

You're nothing but a big bully.

You're dog meat, Brady.

Do it and die, Eric.

- Hurry, Peter, we're on.

- Thanks, Peter. I think you're neato.

Why, thank you, Holly.

I think you're

Ginger and Mary Ann combined.

- Come on, that's us.

- See ya.

Good luck.

Thank you, Brady Bunch.

- You were great!

- Great!

Let's give the rest of our contestants a

big hand as our judges tally the scores.

I have it right here.

The winner of the Search for the Stars

$20,000 grand prize is...

...The Brady Bunch?

- Yeah! Oh, great!

- Hey, great job.

- Thanks.

They what?

How could those losers win anything?

Eric, you've got to stall them

for me. What's in it for you?

You can pierce anything you want,

just keep them from getting here.

Damn kid.

Come on.

Well, here it is. A cheque made out

to the Brady Bunch for $20,000.

- Let's go.

- Let's hear it for those Bradys.

Thanks for coming.

Hope you had a good time...

Come on, come on, let's go, troops!

Come on, hurry up!

Hey, there, groovy chicks.

You're all happening in far-out ways.

- Hurry, the house.

- Hang on.

- How did that happen?

- What are we going to do?

Hey, Marcia, it's our friend, Eddie,

the guy who needed a car jack.

Come on, everybody,

he can give us a lift.

- Hey, Eddie!

- Oh, no.

- Can you give us a ride?

- A ride?

Good afternoon.

Having trouble with the car alarm?

Oh, no. It's not our car,

it's our friend Eddie's.

- Oh, really? Where are the keys, Eddie?

- I lost 'em.

We were counting on you

to give us a ride home.

- I'll run the plate.

- Excuse me, Officer.

I'd hate to ask a law

enforcement official to bend the rules,

especially for penal code 117,

section 33B, but our house is at stake.

Please!

Two o'clock. Auction time.

It's exciting, isn't it, Alice?

By the power authorised me

by the County,

I hereby offer this property

to the highest bidder, unless...

Come on, come on.

Start the bidding at the total of back

taxes, $20,000. Do I have any takers?

Say, I've got $20,000.

Stop the auction!

We have the money for the tax bill.

I repeat, stop the auction.

We have the money for the tax bill.

The house is still ours.

Come on, kids.

Hold everything.

Good news, everybody,

the Bradys are here to stay.

You lied to us, Dittmeyer.

The Bradys aren't selling.

- I knew it!

- You ruined us!

- You're going to pay!

- Hold on, wait a minute.

The man you should be angry

with is me.

Our house and this neighbourhood

are more important than money.

We've borrowed each other's power

tools and patched up each other's kids.

We know so much about each other.

I know that every January, Mr Yaeger's

going to have a Superbowl party...

...that Mrs Simmons will have

the prettiest daffodils on the block.

We know that at 10.15

every Saturday,

Mrs Topping likes to walk

through her living room naked.

Call me old-fashioned, but these

things are important and not for sale.

This is our neighbourhood

and we're staying.

Now, this is going to sound crazy,

but Brady's right: We'll never find

another neighbourhood like this.

And we'll never find neighbours

like the Bradys.

- We're staying, too.

- Us, too.

- So are we.

- We will, too.

Great.

Gosh, I wish I lived here.

I mean, it's incredible.

You people are all staying...

...because one family is willing

to stand up for what they believe in?

Well, that and the huge settlement

we'll get after we sue Dittmeyer's ass.

Oh, Mike, I always knew

you could hit a grand slam.

Now we can stay

in our house after all.

Do you know

who'd love to hear about this?

Grandma!

Hi, everybody.

Wait a minute.

Look how pretty you've gotten!

Oh, those clothes! What taste!

And that smile!

Oh, Marcia, you are such a beauty!

Everyone loves Marcia.

No one loves you.

Watch my head spin. Kill, kill, kill!

No, stop it! I can't take it anymore!

- Shut up, you loser!

- Jan, cut the crap!

- They're gone! Thank you, Grandma.

- Oh, there!

Cindy, oh, Cindy.

- Why does Jan get all the attention?

- Yeah.

It's always, "Jan, Jan, Jan"!

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