The Brady Bunch Movie Page #5

- Did the kids run away?

- No.

We're going to be filthy,

stinking, disgustingly rich.

- Larry, get me my ice mask.

- Forget your ice mask.

We're going to be so rich you can

hire an Eskimo to sit on your face.

- It's open.

- Of course it is.

- Morning.

- Morning, Larry.

If you're here about the offer,

the answer's still no.

- I haven't changed my mind.

- No need.

I know you won't be selling this house

because after the auction tomorrow

at two o'clock, I'll own it.

- I don't think there'll be any auction.

- What?

I just sold one of my designs, so it

looks like the Bradys are here to stay.

So, which firm was lucky enough

to snag one of your designs, Mike?

If you need a property for one of your

health clubs, I'm your man.

- Thank you.

- Well, well, what have we here?

This is one of our new gyms. We're

negotiating to buy the design right now.

Really? Who's your architect?

A very talented fellow.

Name of Brady.

I guess you won't be breaking ground

until after he dries out?

I shouldn't say. The guy's been through

a lot, with the charges against him.

Criminal negligence. A building

he designed completely collapsed.

Old folks home, Christmas Day.

All those cute little visiting

grandchildren. Some with puppies.

Let's take a moment

to honour their memory, shall we?

I'll get it.

Brady residence.

You did? I see. When?

They did? Why not?

Yeah? Right. Well, bye.

- Bad news, I'm afraid.

- What?

The Flex factory

pulled out of the project.

- They're not going with my design.

- Why?

They wouldn't say.

I guess this means it's over.

Barring a miracle

by two o'clock tomorrow,

- the County will auction our house.

- How?

I'm afraid the money we were

counting on is no longer a possibility.

But remember

that no matter where we go,

or whatever house we're in,

we'll be fine as long as we're together.

So I don't want to see

any more frowns. We're Bradys!

As a wise man once said,

"Wherever you go, there you are."

- Never thought of it that way, Dad.

- Thanks, Dad.

- Boy, this is crumby!

- There must be some way out of this.

Everybody think.

I've got it. We can enter

that Search for the Stars contest.

- First prize is $20,000.

- Nifty idea, Marcia!

- Great idea!

- Good idea!

Am I invisible? Do I not have a voice?

I had that idea two days ago.

- Don't be so selfish, Jan.

- Come on, Jan.

We've got a big day ahead.

We'd better get some rest if we're going

to be a fresh young musical group.

It was my idea, mine.

Didn't anybody hear me?

I heard you.

Me, too. But it sounded

better coming from Marcia.

That was the juiciest meat cutters'

ball I've ever been to. I'm cooked.

Stick out your hand and close

your eyes. I've got a surprise for you.

Unless it fits on my finger,

I'm hitting the sack.

It better fit

or I'm going to have to take it back.

Sam, I thought this day

would never come.

- I thought it was right up your alley.

- I'm bowled over.

I always thought our grandchildren

would visit us in this house.

Oh, Mike.

You know, this is going to be

our last night in this bedroom.

Why, Grandpa Brady!

- Jan, where are you going?

- Someplace I can be appreciated.

Snitch, but give me a head start.

I won't,

but how will we sing without you?

Why don't you ask Marcia?

Maybe she has another brilliant idea.

Mom! Dad!

What is it, Cindy?

If you know something,

but don't want to be a tattle,

but it's very important

you tell someone?

- Let's talk about it tomorrow.

- Jan could be dead by then!

- What?!

- Oops.

Why would Jan run away like this?

Maybe we were thinking too much about

our problems and forgetting the kids.

Did anyone say anything

that would make Jan run away?

Nothing more than

what we usually say.

- Yeah.

- I'll get Alice.

Oh. Hi, folks.

Sam, what are you doing here?

I was just delivering some meat.

It's good you're here. Jan ran away

and we need you to help find her.

We'll circle the block,

you check the school. Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Come on, everybody, hurry up.

- Come on.

- Hurry.

I got the back seat.

What happened?

Did an animal die on your head?

Hey, lose the hat, you'll be OK.

Eyes peeled.

Breaker one-nine,

this is Christmas Carol.

- No one's answered in years.

- Oh, Mike, I have to try.

Breaker one-nine, do you read me?

Anyone out there?

I need a 20 on a little girl, blonde,

blue-eyed, answers to the name of Jan.

Tell her Mother Hen

and Father Goose love her very much.

Come back if you're out there.

Some family misses

somebody they love very much.

- I don't have a family.

- Oh, no family...

Sometimes

I'm driving the graveyard shift,

and can't help thinking what might

have been if I'd married young,

had a family, three boys, three girls.

Then a voice says, "Are you kidding?

They'd just treat you like a maid."

- Want some of this, Jan?

- No. You have a little voice, too?

When you're on the road as long as

I am, you've got to talk to somebody.

It's a trick I learned growing up.

It's tough being a middle child.

You're a middle child? So am I.

Then you know what it's like,

not being special.

- What does she mean, "not special"?

- She's just trying to help.

My family's not much.

No kids, but lots of livestock.

Jan, oh, Jan, don't listen to her.

- Who is that?

- It's me, the new Jan Brady.

- Let's knock over a 7-Eleven.

- You're scaring me.

- Me, too.

- Me, too!

Mom? Dad?

Hi, I'm back!

Marcia, Cindy, are you up there?

Greg, Peter, Bobby?

Alice?

Sam?

Christmas Carol,

this is Schultzie, come back to me.

Schultzie, this is Christmas Carol.

I got a 20 on a little girl:

Blue eyes, blonde hair,

answers to the name of Jan.

I just dropped her off

at 4222 Clinton Way.

Thank you, Schultzie, and God bless.

- Over!

- That's a big ten-four.

Jan, are you here?

- Mom? Dad?

- Oh, honey.

- Oh, sweetheart.

- I'm so glad you're safe.

What on earth made you run away?

I thought no one wanted me

here anymore.

But when I was out in the real world,

I realised that I wanted me to be here.

You're a part of me

and I'm a part of you.

And there's no escaping that,

but it makes me feel really special.

I couldn't have put it better myself,

but I'll try.

It doesn't matter where your home is,

home is where your heart is.

We may lose this house, but we'll always

have our family because we're Bradys.

This family is our home. We'll always

have our home if we have our family.

Even if we lose our house,

we're still Bradys.

- Your father's right.

- Sure, Dad.

Maybe we can still save the house.

How about Jan's idea

of the Search for the Stars contest?

- Jan's idea?

- Yes, it was Jan's.

- It's a great plan.

- What's Search for the Stars?

It's a contest for the best musical

group. And there's a prize of $20,000.

Singing one of Greg's songs,

we're sure to win.

You'll have to sing it without me.

- What?

- Why?

I thought I could change my name

and my personality,

and become some big,

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