The Bride Came C.O.D. Page #2

"Hello, sweetheart. Hello, old-timer."

Say, when are you gonna get

some new pictures of your kids?

These are two years old.

I like to keep them up to date.

Listen, Steve, I don't like

the use you're making of my wife and kids.

If you don't want to get married,

why don't you be honest

and tell the dames you don't?

- This way's cleaner.

- Why do you have to use my kids?

- Why don't you just make up two kids?

- Well, that would be deceitful.

I'm making sure no dame hooks me

until I have a whole fleet of planes

of my own.

After 12:
00, you won't even have

one plane of your own.

Hinkle was here and he's coming back.

We can't let him do it, Peewee.

It took me 10 years to own that plane.

It'll take him just 10 minutes

to take it away.

But business is picking up.

In a few months I'll be on my feet.

You'd better get used

to the other position.

- Well, can't we talk him out of it?

- He cries when a dog gets run over.

You haven't got a chance.

I'll talk to Charlie at Pacific Airways.

He'll put you on.

What'll you do?

Take a job at the finance company.

They have all the planes.

This is Tattletale Tommy Keenan

bringing you the latest news nonsense

with a bit of naughty innuendo

from the West Coast capital of the world.

Tonight, folks, it is my pleasure

to bring you the greatest scoop

ever to come out of the West.

As the culmination of a four-day

whirlwind courtship,

the musical world's most eligible bachelor,

Allen Brice,

will tonight become a benedict.

His bride will be

the beautiful Joan Winfield,

daughter of Lucius K. Winfield,

Texas oil tycoon.

Just four days ago...

Holy cats! I forgot. You're supposed

to fly the three of them to Vegas, Steve.

- The three of who?

- Can you imagine me forgetting?

- Come on. What's it all about?

- Listen to Keenan.

...the young couple were introduced

and fell in love at first sight.

- Less than an hour ago, Allen confided...

- They're eloping.

...to be his bride.

- Keenan hired our plane.

Well, call him right back.

We're not going to have a plane.

I, your correspondent...

If Hinkle was here,

we wouldn't even have a phone.

...to be married at once.

- Mr. Keenan? I think he's left.

- KFWB.

Is Mr. Keenan there?

- Chicago calling Miss Joan Winfield.

- Thank you. Sorry, sir. He's...

One moment, please.

I'll connect you with Studio A.

KFWB.

You raise daughters. You bring them up.

They get married.

- Not even so much as an invitation.

- What's that?

They say she just left the broadcasting

station for the airport, sir.

- What airport?

- They don't know, sir.

Well, get busy.

Call every airport in Los Angeles County.

- Yes, sir. Give me long distance, please.

- A fortune in phone calls.

- I'll take it out of her allowance.

- Long distance.

Yes.

It's no use. They left the radio station

to come down here.

Say. With a little luck

I might be able to take off with them

before Hinkle gets back.

That'll mean a few extra dollars.

Get it, will you, Peewee?

Hello?

What? Who? Chicago?

Who? Just a minute.

Who was that you said?

Miss Winfield?

No, she isn't here, but we're expecting her.

Wait a minute.

Hold on, a car just pulled up.

- Are you Miss Winfield?

- Yes!

- Telephone! Chicago!

- It's Father.

Don't let him talk you out of it.

Forty million people have gone to bed

thinking you're married.

- Hello, Pater.

- What's this "pater" baloney?

Now, listen, Dads.

I was going to call you from Las Vegas.

You didn't give me a chance

on the phone before.

I'm not your "Dads," either.

Five years ago before I struck oil

you thought enough of me

to call me Blubbermouth.

Listen. This is costing money.

What's all this bunk

about you getting married and to a...

Now... Now, Dad.

Please try to understand.

- I love Allen Brice desperately.

- You must be pretty desperate.

Well, there's no use

going into reams of discussion.

"Reams of discussion."

Why don't you talk American

to your father?

"Reams of discussion."

You, with all the trouble you had

getting out of high school, and now you...

No wonder,

with the talk I heard around the house!

- Now, darling, let me talk to him.

- Allen, please. No lyrics.

Hello. Allen Brice speaking.

Hey, believe me, Mr. Winfield,

you're not losing a daughter,

you're gaining a son.

Listen, I know all about you.

You're marrying my daughter

for her money.

Let me tell you something.

I paid an income tax of $80,000 last year.

- Even with what you chiseled.

- Even with what I...

Well, I don't mind having

a fortune hunter in the family,

but I'll be darned

if I'll stand for a piano player.

Piano? I'll have you know that I am not a...

You're wasting time.

Let me slap him down.

I am flying to Las Vegas right now,

and I'm going to marry Allen.

And you can put that in your oil well

and pump it!

We'll just have to get married

without your father's consent.

Yes, it's too bad.

Well, he never asked your permission

when he got married.

Go after them. Don't let them get away.

Take them right to the plane.

- But it ain't ours no more.

- It's gonna be. Now, do as you're told.

Hello, Operator? Operator?

Say, I was talking to Lucius K. Winfield

in Chicago and we were cut off.

Get him back for me, will you, please?

Who's this?

- Well, how can you stop the wedding?

- You leave that to me.

I'll deliver your daughter to you

tomorrow morning in Amarillo

at 8:
00, unmarried.

Take a plane and meet me there.

Why Amarillo?

Well, that's as far east as I can fly

without having to refuel.

What's your price?

Well, this is a very unusual case.

Yes, it is a little unusual.

My daughter's not an ordinary passenger.

- What do you charge for freight?

- What does your daughter weigh?

- About 115 pounds.

- A hundred and fifteen pounds?

Well, now, let's see.

A hundred and fifteen pounds.

Well, now, let's see.

Well, $10 a pound.

That's my standard charge.

That's not counting her clothes,

understand?

That's all right with me

if I can be there at the weighing in.

By the way, where do we weigh in,

here or Amarillo?

Well, you'd better make it Amarillo.

She won't weigh so much

after an all-night trip.

All right, $10 a pound,

whatever she weighs on delivery.

Fine. It's a deal. Good.

I despise men of your ilk.

I'll take the keys for the plane, Collins.

Hinkle, you're in luck.

I just made a deal with a big shot.

I'll be back at 4:00 tomorrow with $1,100.

I suppose you'll need the plane

to go after it?

- That's right.

- Okay. I'll go along.

But there won't be room.

My conscience'll be bothering me all night.

But I want those keys.

Can I help it because you can't make a go

out of this business?

I bet you showed a profit

the minute you were born.

Do you think you're kidding?

As a matter of fact,

I was an incubator baby

and they charged to see me.

Hinkle? I've been knocking around

all my life.

This is my one chance for respectability.

You can't take that plane away from me.

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