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someone else?

I thought we agreed that

we wouldn't meet here.

Who were

you expecting?

Gilbert, the new guy.

Laura...

come away from

the window please.

Would you please come

away from the window?

Aren't you going

to say hello?

I love you guilty.

It's the Puritan in you.

I love f***ing you.

You talk when you make love.

Kettle, it's,

it's just boiling.

Which is more, apparently,

than we can say for you.

Laura, I haven't

got much time.

No, I don't think

I have either.

Tea?

Frank, you're more English

than the English.

Listen, if Gilbert does come,

let's just say you're here

delivering a message

from Andrew.

To hell with Gilbert.

I've got good news.

Oh?

What?

Don't worry,

I'm not pregnant.

I've had a letter

from my mother.

She's decided to visit

my sister in Canada.

So, I can have her cottage

in Dorset for the whole summer.

That's great.

Andrew starts

his new job in September,

but I don't have

to go there immediately.

That means you and I

can be alone together.

If you like.

Just think, darling...

whole months.

You will come, won't you?

Frank?

Frank... I need you.

I need to be with you.

You know my,

my father's not well.

I may have to go back

to the States.

God, you remind me of him.

Of who?

Of whom.

Of whom, of Andrew,

of course.

He didn't always used to be

the old Croc, you know.

He wasn't much older than you

are now when I first met him.

He was so pure, so...

so idealistic.

But just as ungiving.

What happened to him?

I did.

Weren't you two ever

happy together?

I can't remember.

Can't remember.

Laura, I...

I feel sorry for him.

No you don't.

You feel guilty because

you're screwing his wife.

Or to be more accurate,

because his wife

is screwing you.

I think we should tell him.

Tell him what?

About us.

What, are you insane?

That's the stupidest thing

I've ever heard.

And what the hell would you want

to tell him for, Laura?

What are we talking about now...

Marriage? Divorce?

I'm talking about us.

I don't want us to become

just good friends.

Listen, Laura...

Don't.

Deja vu.

I know exactly

what you're going to say now.

You're going to say

you're not ready

to settle down.

Isn't that what you

were going to say?

Anyone home?

Oh, yes, come in,

Headmaster.

Ah, Andrew, Andrew,

can't stay long.

Lovely day.

Beautiful, yes. Uh, would

you like to sit down?

Two things I wanted

to discuss with you.

Can I offer you tea

or anything?

Oh, no, don't

bother about tea.

You have enough to do.

Two most stressful things

in life... moving and divorce.

You know,

it's extremely unlucky...

ill health should have

forced your retirement.

Well, I felt that I could

have continued, Headmaster.

If you remember,

it was yourself

and the governors

who thought that my health...

Well, quite so, quite so.

I was going on to say

that it's unlucky

about your having to retire

before becoming

entitled to a pension.

You have decided

not to award me a pension.

Not I. Not I.

Lord Baxter and the governors

thought long and

hard about it.

They were felt

unable to, um...

make an exception.

But, uh...

exceptions have been made

in the past, have they not?

Ah. Richardson, you mean.

Well, those were

exceptional

circumstances.

After all,

it was in playing football,

staff against school,

he received his injury.

I understand.

The second thing I wanted...

Oh, Headmaster.

I was just leaving.

Oh, uh... well, can I

offer you a coffee

or... it's too early

for sherry, isn't it?

Oh, it's far

too early.

No, I'll leave you to it.

You're very busy.

Oh, Headmaster,

I've completed

the timetable.

It's hot.

Would you like to take

it with you?

Oh, thank you very much.

Thank you

very much, Andrew.

Oh, what do you make of your

successor, young Tom Gilbert?

He seems very agreeable.

Very agreeable.

High academic honors at Oxford.

Chancellor's Prize

for Latin verse.

Oh, Andrew got

that, too.

And a double First.

Of course you did.

Sometimes it's hard

to remember, you know,

but you must be one

of the most brilliant scholars

ever to come to this school.

You're very kind.

Oh, when I say

it's hard to remember,

it's because you've done

so many other good things.

You know, timetable,

your heroic battle

for so long with the soul-

destroying lower fifth.

Well, I haven't

found that my soul

has been destroyed by

the lower fifth, Headmaster.

Oh. Uh...

No, I was only joking.

I see, well...

Uh, what was

the, uh, other matter

you wished to discuss?

Oh, nothing,

nothing at all, Andrew.

And, uh, I was just saying,

Laura,

the two most stressing

things in life...

moving house and divorce.

Well, bad luck, Andrew

and, um, I'll see you later.

Bye-bye.

Good-bye, sir.

Well, do we get it?

Do we get what?

The pension.

Do we get the pension?

No.

What?

No.

Why not?

It's against the rules.

Well, Richardson got one.

Why couldn't they

give one to you?

It was special circumstances.

He received his

injuries playing soccer

for the staff

against the school.

And what did you say?

Just stood there

and made some joke

in Latin, I suppose.

There was very little

I could say

in Latin or any other language.

Oh, I would

have said something.

Don't you worry, I would have...

I'm sure you would.

I jolly well would.

Do you know

what you are, Andrew?

You're a wimp.

You always were

and you always will be...

a double first-class wimp.

You know, I think

I could have

forgiven you anything

if you'd have just once

said, "No. Enough,"

not just to me

but to every setback

you've ever had.

There was an old lady

of 82... Parlez-vous? Oh!

Out.

Out.

Go on, out.

Out! Out!

- Out!

- Out!

Not you, Taplow.

Stay there.

Out! Move it!

Come on.

You go to the Crock's house

for extra work, don't you?

Yeah.

Yes, Trubshaw.

Yes... Trubshaw.

Very good.

So what's the gossip, then?

I don't know, Trubshaw.

Well, word is,

Mrs. Crocker-Harris

is having it off with somebody.

Is that right?

I, I really

don't know, Trubshaw.

Oh, come on, Taplow...

I've seen you.

Nothing happens around here

without you knowing about it.

Who's she shagging?

Who is it?

Dr. Rafferty.

I've no idea, honestly.

Would you like

to give her one?

Have you ever

seen her tits?

I have.

She was in the library once.

She bent over.

No bra, nothing.

Gorgeous.

I bet you'd like

to put your face

between them, wouldn't you,

Taplow, you little wanker?

Your parents coming

down today?

No.

No?

Oh. Why not?

Oh. Your mother's

having it off

with somebody as well.

Word is, she's a good

f***, your mother.

Is that right?

Huh?

Ah, Missus... Missus, uh...

- Missus...

- Wilson.

Wilson. How are you?

- I have a complaint.

- Oh, dear.

Ten spaghetti and one lettuce

leaf is not enough

for a growing boy.

Ludwig tells me

that's all he's had

for dinner for the past week.

- Ah, well...

- We pay enough in fees.

Please ensure

that he's properly fed.

I'll speak to the kitchens

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