The Bullfighters Page #2

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...my home was broken up.

Everything.

Those two bloodhounds

ruined my life.

I had to flee to Mexico

to start life anew.

But someday, I'll run across

them again...

...and when I do...

...I'm going to skin them alive.

- Uh-huh.

First, the little one...

...then the big one.

- I'm going to skin them alive.

- Take it easy, Richard K.

[WOMEN CHATTER INDISTINCTLY]

Oh, there is the great Don Sebastian.

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

Don't sit there, our other clothes

are not dry yet.

My hero.

Come on, snap out of it.

Wipe your mouth.

My key, please.

Look, Sebastian is here.

- Now pull yourself together.

- Welcome to Mexico City.

- Thank you.

- And to you too, sir.

- Thank you, sir.

- When did you arrive?

- We got in this morning.

- Why didn't you let me know?

- What for?

- What for?

I've got you billed over this town.

Don Sebastian, the greatest bullfighter

in the world from Barcelona, Spain.

I'm afraid you're mistaken, sir.

I'm Mr. Hardy,

and this is my good friend, Mr. Laurel.

- How do you do?

- How do you do?

Do you mean you're not Don Sebastian,

the great bullfighter from Barcelona?

Why no, sir, we've never been

in Barcelona in our lives.

- No?

- We come from Peoria.

Peoria. Oh...

Ever run across a fellow

by the name of Richard K. Muldoon?

Richard K...

Oh, why of course.

I sent him to prison for 20 year.

Really?

- Yes, sir.

- You sent him to prison?

I was the one that sent him to prison.

l...

I beg your pardon, sir,

but why do you ask?

Well, I'm in business with him.

- I left his office not over an hour ago.

- An hour ago?

Well, how did he get out

of prison so soon?

After five years, they found he

was innocent. The real guy confessed.

- Innocent?

- That's right.

Gee, that's terrible.

Maybe you better go apologize.

That's an awful thing to do to.

I better go and apologize?

Why, you were the one

that so falsely accused him.

Why, if you had a spark of manhood

left in your system...

...you'd go right over

and apologize to Mr. Muldoon.

- I'll do that...

- Just a minute.

If you'll take my tip

you'll never cross his path...

...because he said he was

gonna skin you both alive.

Now, if you're smart

you'll get out of town...

...because he said, "First

the little one then the big one...

...I'll skin them both alive."

- Thanks for the information.

- Good day, gentlemen.

- Good day.

- Goodbye.

Sit down.

Over here.

Well, here's another nice mess

you've gotten me into.

- You know what?

- What?

We'd better find Larceny Nell and get

back to Peoria as fast as we can.

I guess you're right. We certainly

don't want to be skinned alive.

I should say not. I don't want to walk

around in my bones...

...rattling all over the place.

I didn't think it was possible there was

another face like that in all the world.

- I wish you good luck, seor.

- Thank you. We need it.

You know, that girl's face

is kind of familiar to me.

Oh, nonsense.

She's probably some dame

that thinks that you're the bullfighter.

No, I've seen her somewhere before.

Psst! She's at the cocktail bar.

Atlantic City.

- Come on.

- Where are you going?

- I've found Larceny Nell.

- Where is she?

She shook hands a moment ago,

and you didn't even recognize her.

Come on.

Won't you join me in a drink,

Don Sebastian?

Madam, he's not a bullfighter.

We're detectives

and you're under arrest.

You can't arrest me. I'm on Mexican

territory. You can't touch me.

We can't, huh?

We have the papers.

- What papers?

- The extradition papers.

- Are you kidding?

- Kidding?

- So, what?

- You give me back those papers.

- Try and get them.

- I certainly...

Papers or no papers, you're coming

with us. Get the handcuffs.

- Get the handcuffs, Stanley.

- Get your hands off of me.

Take your hands off of me.

- Get the handcuffs, quick.

- Let me go.

I'll not.

Come on, Stanley, help me.

- Here.

- Let me go.

Madam, you might as well

come along quietly.

Ooo!

No, no, Stanley.

You can't hit a lady.

She's no lady.

I'm not, huh?

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHING]

[EGGS CRUNCH]

Now, you're coming with us or else.

Ooo!

Boss, I got a telegram for you.

It's important.

- How long have you been carrying this?

- About three hours.

We're behind the eight ball,

it ain't transparent.

Don Sebastian's passport's

been held up.

- You mean he ain't coming?

- Not exactly, but I need him here now.

Boss, I got an idea.

- So have I.

- It wasn't my fault.

It wasn't your fault?

I had the dame right in my hand,

and you had to mess it up.

I'm happy to meet you again so soon.

I'm having a difficulty,

and you can do me a favor...

...for which I'm prepared

to pay you.

I'm sorry, but we're not interested.

We have to pack. We're leaving the city.

- Yeah, but this is...

- I'm sorry.

- I wonder what he wanted.

- I don't care what he wanted.

We're gonna pack

and get out of here.

We're going to stay as far away

from that guy as we can.

- Why?

- Because he and Muldoon are like that.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

Pardon me, gentlemen.

- May I use your phone?

- Yeah, help yourself.

Get me Richard K. Muldoon.

Just what was the proposition

you had in the hall?

Remember this morning when I mistook

Mr. Laurel for Don Sebastian?

- Yes.

- By a strange coincidence...

...Mr. Laurel is the living image

of Don Sebastian from Barcelona.

But unfortunately, Don Sebastian

has been held up by passport trouble.

So as a great favor to me...

...and for which, I am prepared

to pay you very handsomely...

...I want you to impersonate him.

I'm not gonna fight any bulls.

- What do you think l...?

- Get me Richard K. Muldoon.

I don't want to fight any bulls.

I don't like bulls.

- I'm allergic to bulls.

- Listen...

...Don Sebastian will certainly

be here for the big bullfight.

I don't have to fight any bulls?

Absolutely not. All I want you to do

is impersonate him, meet the press...

...have your pictures taken, meet all

the ladies, be seen in public places.

I'm taking you out tonight

and show you a good time.

- And we get paid for that?

- Definitely.

But suppose we run across

this Mr. Muldoon?

Oh, leave him to me.

He won't know me

with these clothes?

No. You listen. I'm having my tailor,

Seor Guttenberg, come up here...

...and attire you in the costume

usually worn by bullfighters.

When he gets through with you...

...Mr. Muldoon can look you in the eye

and skin you alive...

I mean, he'll swear you're someone

from Peoria... Barcelona, Spain.

- It's a deal.

- Thank you, sir.

- Adis. Hasta la vista.

- Adis.

- Do you think it's all right?

- Of course it's all right.

We'll have a good time

and pick up a few pesos.

[SPANISH MUSIC PLAYS]

- Seor Hotshot.

- Luis.

- And a very distinguished guest.

- You recognize Don Sebastian?

But who could fail? His face

is on every billboard in Mexico City.

- Nice table, Luis.

- The best in the house.

Seorita Tangerine,

Don Sebastian.

Ah, my hero.

That's what I call hospitality.

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