The Bullfighters Page #3

---

Remember your dignity.

Steady now.

S.

Seores y seoritas,

it is my pleasure to announce...

...that we have with us tonight,

direct from Barcelona...

...the great Don Sebastian.

[CROWD APPLAUDS]

Now, take a bow.

No, get on your feet, take off your hat.

Take a big bow.

- Have you got a match?

- Sure.

No.

Well, light this.

[LAUGHING]

Hey, boss, Muldoon's on his way in.

Muldoon?

Sit down, he won't recognize you,

but don't speak English.

Ah, Hotshot.

- How are you?

- Richard K., meet Don Sebastian.

- How do you do?

- S.

- Sit here, you'll see the show better.

- Oh, thanks.

You know, it's a lucky thing for you,

I know you really are Don Sebastian...

...because if you weren't, but the guy

you remind me of, I'd skin you alive.

But then you wouldn't know

what I'm talking about. Ha-ha-ha!

Oh, I beg your pardon.

Well, this fellow that looked like you

had a friend, a human hippopotamus.

Why, if I had that mass of blubber

here right now...

...I'd crush him alive.

Like this.

[NUTS CRUNCH]

Seores y seoras, now we present

the original Latin bombshell...

...Conchita.

Muchas gracias.

[BAND PLAYS]

[SINGS IN SPANISH]

Marvelous, Conchita, marvelous.

Oh, may I present Don Sebastian.

Seorita Conchita.

- Mucho gusto.

- S.

Take a bow. Not a big one.

Oh, mi muchachito, come.

I'm going to teach you

how to do the rhumba.

Some other time. I'm talking business

with Don Sebastian and Hotshot.

Oh, no, no, no.

You come right now, come on.

I'm only gonna to teach you

two steps of conga, okay?

Now, with your left foot,

you will cover three steps to the left...

...and then you kick to the fourth.

Okay, watch.

One, two, three kick.

One, two, three kick.

Oh, it's very simple.

Come on, let's try it now.

One, two, three kick.

One, two, three kick.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Come on, everybody.

Now, the second one.

The second one, you kick.

You walk just about the same, only you

kick a little bit different, like this, watch.

One, two, back, kick.

One, two, back, kick.

All right, come on.

Attaboy.

Now let's try the fourth one.

Goes like this, watch.

One, two, down.

One, two, down.

Oh, you're doing fine.

You're a brave boy.

Now, one, two, down, up.

One, two...

[PANTS RIP]

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

There's a strange mule in my stall.

Take that mask off.

Go on, go on, get out of here.

You better go back.

[HARDY YELLS, PLATES CRASH]

Come on, man.

- I'm terribly sorry.

- The pleasure's mutual.

It's all right.

Most embarrassing.

Lucky for me,

I got two pairs of pants with this suit.

- You can't beat Seor Guttenberg.

- A telephone call for you, Don Sebastian.

S.

Is this you, Stan?

S, seora.

Hello, hello.

- lf he's bullfighter, I'm Mickey Mouse.

- He's a cute little person.

Another call for you.

S.

- Who is this?

- This is me. S.

Hello, hello.

That reminds me.

I must talk to the committee. Luis.

- Bring me the telephone.

- I'm very sorry, it is busy...

...but you can use the one

in the booth.

- Will you pardon me?

- Careful, your pants.

Oh, thanks.

Thanks for the lovely time,

Mr. Potshot.

Hotshot.

- Well, I've got to be going. You see...

- Where are you going?

- I got to meet Ollie...

- You're going nowhere.

We haven't set this deal yet.

Sit still and enjoy yourself...

...and don't speak English.

- S.

Potshot.

I thought you said it was Hotshot.

- Another call for you.

- Hello.

- Hello, Stan, this is Ollie.

- Where are you?

I'm in the telephone booth.

You'd better get out of there. Muldoon's

on his way over to make a call.

Oh! Oh, oh!

Muldoon must have got him.

Come on.

What happened?

Get to the hotel. I'll see you later.

Go on. Beat it.

[PANTS RIP]

- I'll sure be glad to get out of here.

- So will I.

As soon as Mr. Hotfoot

comes with the money...

...we'll be on our way.

His name is not Hotfoot,

it's Hotshot.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

- Well, good morning, gentlemen.

- Good morning.

You're not preparing to leave, are you?

We certainly are.

After that experience last night...

...we don't want to run

into Mr. Muldoon again.

- Why? Nothing happened.

- Yeah, but it was a very close shave.

I have some bad news.

I'm in a terrible spot.

I received a telegram, Don Sebastian's

passport has been held indefinitely...

...and he can't arrive

in time for the big fight.

- So what?

- So what!

I've signed a contract, accepted a check

in advance, you've been advertised.

Last night, you were

seen as Don Sebastian.

So from now on, you are Don Sebastian,

and you have to go through with it.

- You mean you want me to fight a bull?

- Exactly.

- That boy can't fight any bull.

- Listen, there's nothing to it.

I'll get you an old,

contented, blind bull.

Old, blind or contented, I won't do it.

- I don't blame you, Stanley.

- Thank you, Ollie.

- Gentlemen, can I use your telephone?

- Help yourself.

Me fight a blind, contented bull.

Get me Richard K. Muldoon.

Operator.

Oh...

Gump!

- What is it, boss?

- Get Muldoon.

Stanley...

...on second thought,

I think you'd better consider this.

What do you mean consider?

- Don't jump at conclusions.

- Who's jumping?

And don't make hasty decisions.

Don't be so selfish.

Think of me once in a while.

At least you can do this for my sake.

For your sake?

You don't wanna see me skinned alive,

do you?

Listen, you have only one alternative.

Either honor and glory

as thousands cheer...

...or slow death

by my good friend Muldoon.

What do you say?

I don't know, but I think I'm hooked.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

- Who's there?

MULDOON:
Muldoon.

And...

- Well, come in, Richard K.

- Hi, Hotshot. Hello, Sebastian.

Well, now...

I have good news for you.

This week, we have

the finest bulls in years.

- Really?

- Here's the committee selection.

A big, fine, black, courageous one.

No, no, no. This one.

Big fighter, so quick that he turns his

tail around on a peso.

- There's a beautiful animal.

- Fine bull.

- Last Sunday, he killed three matadors.

- Three, mind you.

- What about the blind and contented one?

- Blind and contented?

That's a breed of bulls

they have in Barcelona, Spain.

Leave the pictures

and I'll make our selections.

You can't go wrong. Those bulls are

killer and worthy of your fine technique.

You said it, kid.

Take Don Sebastian out to the bull

farm and let him make his own selection.

- Good idea. I'll call you later.

- Fine, adis.

- Adis.

- Adis.

- Come along, Conchita.

- No, no, no, come on this way.

- I beg your pardon. Adis.

- Adis.

Help!

Blind and contented bulls.

I ought to...

Here are Seor Muldoon's finest bulls.

This is my son, Pancho. He's gonna be

a great bullfighter someday.

You hear that? Even the little kid

isn't afraid of the bulls.

- How do you know he's not afraid?

- I'll ask him.

- You aren't afraid of the bulls?

- S, seor.

He said, "Yes."

- He said, "Yes," he wasn't, right?

- No, seor.

- You see.

- Here's a fine bull.

He comes from a very fine family.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes