The Butcher Boy Page #10

One little piggy stayed at home.

One little piggy got bread and beef,

the other little piggy got none.

No sign of her yet, ladies?

Sure, she has a lot on her plate,

with the way things are in the world.

Please God, she won't be long.

As the monkey said

when he got his tail cut off.

After all me praying,

she didn't bother her arse coming.

Have you the money for a drink?

- I have me hands full here.

- F*** off, you and her.

There's only one place for aliens...

and that's underneath

the rotten cabbages in the Brock heap.

Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!

Have you seen her, Mrs. Coyle?

You've seen Our Lady.

Oh, so young Traynor got it wrong.

The square, how are you?

Our Lady, sure, I knew

you wouldn't let us down.

Well, Our Lady mightn't have shown up,

but Francie Brady didn't let them down.

It was the best show

that old town had ever seen.

Everybody back!

Excuse me, if youse don't mind.

You did it, you f***ing...

F***ing Jesus Christ!

Mr. Leddy, I hope

you're gonna pay for the furniture.

- Shut your f***ing mouth!

- Tell him there's no need for that language.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

Will you tell us

what you've done with her?

- Who?

- Jesus Christ, will you stop this?

This is doing nobody any good.

Will you, son, please?

I'm sorry about all this, sergeant.

Do you think they'll hang me?

I'm afraid there's no more hanging.

Sergeant, what's this world coming to?

I didn't know you were gonna

chop her up too, Francie.

Do you know Mary's shop?

Will youse do me a message?

Sure, but only if you say

no more chopping up.

Mrs. Nugent and my ma

were good friends, you know.

Okay, then. Chopping up, the end.

- Commandos, please.

- Banzai, you yellow sons of Nippon dogs.

Yeah.

We're all gathered here to pray...

for the redemption of Francis Brady

for his terrible crime.

You're doing the right thing, Francie.

Thank God.

That's enough talk,

let's get it over with.

- She's right down here.

- Keep going.

- For f***'s sake, who put that there?

- What?

- This.

- Oh, God.

- Go and get him, come on.

- Come...

- Okay, okay...

- Around the back, quick.

Francie Brady escapes,

read all about it.

Come here.

Come on, sergeant.

Fugitive Francie Brady still at large.

It is reported that Richard Kimble,

only last night, said:

"I have to admit it,

Francie Brady beats me hands down."

- What do you see, what do you see?

- Nothing.

- There must be some clues in there.

- No, nothing.

- Call yourself a detective, huh?

- Hey, boys.

Do youse want to find

a million billion Flash bars, yeah?

- They're looking everywhere for you.

- Do youse want them or don't youse?

- I suppose so. Where are they, then?

- In a dung heap behind Leddy's.

Leddy's.

House, you are a disgrace.

I have so much tidying up to do,

I don't know where to start.

- How many did he say?

- I forget.

I know it was a lot, but...

And now for the most amazing

Francie Brady bonfire of all time.

Hi-ho, Silver, away!

- That's Mrs. Nugent's head!

- So that's where she went.

But what about the Flash bars?

- There's someone in there.

- I'm on it.

Get back.

Go right now, right here.

- Right, come along, come on.

- Pick him up, pick him up.

Come on, clear back, clear back.

Clear the way, clear the way.

What about my friend Francie Brady?

Clear the way.

Youse aren't burned, are youse?

It's all right for youse.

And you went in

to save the wee fella by yourself?

- You would have done the very same.

- I would not.

I'd have been scared out of me life.

Jesus, Francie, I think you deserve

a drag of the cigarette.

Sure, thank you.

Or maybe you'd like

some more sweets?

Yeah, sure, yeah.

But that was all a long, long time ago.

Sure, you're a grand old topper.

They put Francie Brady

in the garage for bad bastards...

and gave him

a new job making baskets.

And after he'd made

a million trillion baskets...

they said they'd let him out again.

You're going back into

the world, Francie.

We think you're ready for it.

You'll be in what we call

a halfway house.

Between this one and the next.

The next world, doc?

The real world, Francie.

It's time you joined it.

It'll take some adjustment...

but as long as we anticipate

all of the problems...

then everything should be fine.

I haven't seen fields for so long, doc.

Man, but it was sure good

outside that old garage.

The sheep were munching away

at the grass.

The breeze was blowing

and the sea was singing...

swish, swish along with it.

Francie Brady had got the

Not-a-Bad-Bastard-Anymore Award at last...

and he wishes Father Bubbles

could see him now.

No more aliens or chopping up

or any of that old shite.

If anyone thought Francie Brady was

getting in trouble again, they're wrong.

Trouble, no thank you.

So there it is, Francie Brady,

butcher boy, the end.

Oh f***, oh Mother of Jesus.

- Hello, stranger.

- How are you, Francie?

Haven't seen you for a power of years.

It's not that I haven't been thinking

about you, Francie.

What are you doing, missus...

still talking to the likes of me?

God loves every one of us, Francie.

But you know something, Francie?

He has a very special place

in his heart for you.

No, missus, you'll have to stop

this appearing and disappearing crack...

or they'll put me back in there.

Joe loves you too, Francie.

But the world goes one way

and we go another.

Do you get my meaning?

So don't go bothering your head

about goldfish anymore, all right?

Or a hundred million Flash bars.

Promise me, Francie?

Tell me something, missus.

Are all the beautiful things gone?

No, Francie.

They're all still there.

Look, here's one of them.

Picked a flower, did you, Francie?

A snowdrop.

They're late this year.

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