The Cabin in the Woods Page #2

Well, good luck with

your business, sir.

I know the railroad's coming

through here any day, now.

That's gonna be big.

Streets paved with actual street.

F***er.

This must be it.

Oh, my God. It's.. beautiful.

One spider and I'm

sleeping in the Rambler.

I mean it.

Come on. Give me a hand.

This is awesome.

It is kind of cool.

You gonna kill us a raccoon to eat?

I will use its skin to make a cap.

Everybody get your suits on. In

Yeah.

I was not informed there

would be calisthenics.

Yeah, I don't think so.

Whoa.

No way.

Ah, sh*t.

This is happening.

Hold up!

You've gotta be f***ing kidding me.

That's just creepy.

It was pioneer days.

People had to make their

own interrogation rooms.

Who did your cousin

buy this place from?

We should check the rest of the rooms,

make sure this is the only one.

'Cause you know Marty wants

to watch us pounding away.

I didn't even like hearing that.

How about we switch?

Not that I'd..

I mean, I'd put the picture back but you

might feel better if we switched rooms?

I really would.

Thanks. For being decent.

It's the least I could do..

since Curt and Jules

sold you to me for marriage.

They're not subtle.

Well, I'll just be flattered

and keep it to myself.

Yeah, I'm not looking for..

But, I'm still grateful

that you're not a creep.

Hey, let's not jump

to any conclusions there.

I had kind of an internal

debate about showing you the mirror.

Shouting on both sides.

Blood was spilled.

So, you're bleeding internally?

Pretty bad.

Well, Jules is pre-med.

You should probably talk to her.

Okay.

Wow.

Yeah, I don't think so.

Places everyone.

We are live.

Engineering, we got a room change.

Polk is now in two, McCrea is in four.

Operations, do you copy?

We need a scenario adjustment.

Miss Lin.

We've got the blood work

back on Louden. Her levels are good.

But we're recommending

a fifty-milligram bump..

of Rhohyptase to increase libido.

- Sold. - Do we pipe it in,

or do you wanna do it orally?

Ask me that again, only slower.

You're a pig.

Guess how we're

slowing down cognition.

I don't know.

The hair dye.

Dumb blonde. Very artistic.

Works its way into the blood,

through the scalp. Very gradual.

Chem department keeps their end up.

I'll see it when I believe it.

Control?

- Yeah, go ahead.

I have the harbinger on line two.

Oh, Christ. Can you take a message?

I don't think so. He's really pushy.

To be honest,

he's kind of freaking me out.

Okay. Put him on.

Mordecai, baby, what's happening?

How's the weather up top?

The lambs have passed through the gate.

They are come to the killing floor.

Well, you're doing

a great job out there.

By the numbers, man.

You got us started off just right.

So, we'll talk to you later, okay?

Their blind eyes see nothing

of the horrors to come.

Their ears are stopped.

They are the gods' fools.

Well, that's.. how it works.

Cleanse them. Cleanse the

world of their ignorance and sin.

Bathe them in the crimson of..

Am I on speakerphone?

No. Absolutely not.

Speakerphone, no.

No, I wouldn't do that.

Yes, I am. I can hear the echo.

Oh, my God. You're right.

Hang on one second, I'll take you off.

That's rude.

I don't know who's in the room.

Fine. There. You're off.

Thank you.

Don't take this lightly, boy.

It wasn't all by your numbers.

The fool nearly derailed

the invocation with his insolence.

The ancient ones see everything.

And they will not be..

I'm still on speakerphone, aren't I?

Oh, my God. Mordecai.

I can't believe it. I did it again!

Mordy?

What happens next?

Oh! That's cold!

How cold? Is it worth it?

Come on, Jules. Life is risk.

Yeah, I might just risk

lying out in the sun for a while.

Boo.

Hey, what is that?

- What?

In the lake, right there.

Oh, come on. - No you guys,

I'm serious. Right there.

There! There!

God, looks just like my girlfriend!

Oh, my God!

There's something else in the lake!

It's a gorgeous man!

- I'm gonna kill you!

Don't kill the gorgeous man!

We're endangered!

All right. Last chance.

It's post time. Dig deep, people.

Betting windows are closing. Okay.

Okay, who's still out?

Let's see. We got engineering,

we got R & D, and we got electrical.

Did you see who they picked?

They're practically

giving their money away.

You should talk, Aquaman.

What do you mean?

- Ah, nothing.

Okay, all right.

I'm not even sure

we have one of these.

Zoology swears we do.

They'd know. Okay. All right, people.

Hey, what do you got?

No, they've already been picked.

What? No. Who took them?

Maintenance.

Maintenance?

They pick the same thing every year.

What do you want from me?

If they were creative,

they wouldn't be in maintenance.

You're gonna have to split

this if you win. You wanna switch?

I don't know, I don't know.

What do you think?

More than anything,

I just want this moment to end.

Not betting?

Not for me. Thanks.

Seems a little harsh, doesn't it?

It's just people letting off steam.

This job isn't easy,

however those clowns may behave.

Does the director.

Do they know about this downstairs?

The director doesn't

care about this stuff.

As long as everything

goes smoothly upstairs..

as long as the kids

do as they're told.

But then it's fixed.

No, no, no.

How can you wager on this

when you control the outcome?

No, we just get 'em in the cellar.

They take it from there.

No, they have to make the

choice of their own free will.

Otherwise the system doesn't work.

It's like the harbinger.

It's this creepy old f***, practically

wears a sign, "You will die."

Why do we put him there? The system.

They have to choose to ignore him..

and they have to choose

what happens in the cellar.

Yeah, we rig the game

as much as we need to..

but in the end,

they don't transgress..

hey can't be punished.

So what's it gonna be, Truman?

You in? Window's closing.

I'm fine.

Okay.

That's it, gang!

The board is locked!

Oh, let's get this party started!

Let's get this party started!

There you go.

Okay, my turn.

Jules.

Truth or dare?

Let's go dare.

All right.

I dare you to make out with..

Please say "Dana," please say "Dana."

That moose, over there.

Marty..

have you ever seen a moose before?

Whatever that mysterious beast is.

That's a wolf.

I'm living in a womb of reefer,

leave me alone.

Jules..

I dare you to make out with that wolf.

No problem.

Who?

Me?

Well, yes, I am new in town.

How did you know?

Oh, my God.

That is so sweet of you to say.

I just colored it, in fact.

No, no, no.

There's no need to huff and puff.

I'll let you come in.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Now,...

Dana.

Truth.

What's that supposed to mean?

I'm just skipping ahead.

You're gonna say dare.

She's gonna dare you to

do something you don't like..

and then you'll puss out and

say that you wanted truth all along.

Really?

Okay, Jules.

Dare.

What the hell was that?

It's the cellar door.

The wind must've blown it open.

That makes what kinda sense?

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