The Caine Mutiny Page #4

- Cut it. | - Steve, I thought you'd be amused.

It's the saga of a man with very | little charm and even less courage.

It's not funny. | Find someone else to sing about.

- Old Yellowstain will be flattered. | - Don't use that name again.

- The captain wants a meeting. | - And he kids us not.

Don't get up, please. I'm not | feeling well. This won't take long.

That'll be all, steward.

I know that some of you | are a little afraid of me.

I'm not that terrible. | I have a wife and a child and a dog.

They're rather fond of me. Even | the dog doesn't think I'm a monster.

Certain things happened today.

A command is a lonely job. | It isn't easy to make decisions.

Sometimes the captain of a ship | needs help... constructive loyalty.

A ship is like a family. We all | have ideas of right and wrong. -

- But we have to pitch in | for the good of the family.

If there was only some way | we could help each other.

If there's anything you want to say, | I'll be glad to listen.

I've spoken my piece. | I only hope it registered.

Don't get up.

Painter, have some more aspirin | sent up. My headache's much worse.

Yes, sir.

This is what is known | in literature as the pregnant pause.

Let's write to Walter Winchell.

- I almost felt sorry for him. | - Don't be so sentimental, Willie.

I thought it was a good speech.

It was close to an apology. | We could have backed him up.

He turned yellow | the first time we got into action.

You knew nothing about DeVriess | and you know even less about Queeg.

He's tired. | His nerves are shot.

A man can lose his head | after what Queeg has gone through.

That's endearing, but it won't hold.

Has it ever occurred to you that | our captain might be unbalanced?

I know about abnormal behaviour.

Captain Queeg has every symptom of | acute paranoia. He'll snap any day.

- Step outside. | - I'd like to stay.

- Let him. He studied psychology. | - You're fooling with dynamite.

The man is a Freudian delight. | He crawls with clues.

The rolling balls, the second-hand | phrases, the migraine headaches...

Shirt-tails, and tonight's speech: | I turned yellow but my dog likes me.

- I think Tom does make sense. | - You stay out of this.

So he has migraine headaches | and he rolls steel balls. So what?

You used to get up before reveille | and scribble on papers.

Everybody's a screwball in some way.

You're kidding yourself, Steve.

Will you go to the medical officer | with me and repeat what you've said?

- Do you agree with my diagnosis? | - Not even if I understood it.

I'm not doing it alone. If you | can't see it, they won't believe me.

Let's drop it. There'll be no more | talk of the captain being crazy.

- It can only blow up in our faces. | - I still insist he's paranoid.

See this bible?

I swear on this, I'll report | anything further you say about it.

There's no more friendship | on this point.

Medical log | on Lieutenant Commander X-ray.

The possibility appears to exist -

- That the commander of this ship | may be mentally disturbed.

March 5, 1944. This evening, | as usual, we were showing a Western.

Stop the picture! | Will you please stop this picture!

Attention on deck!

- Why wasn't I told about the movie? | - You don't want to see Westerns.

This was calculated disrespect | to your commanding officer.

All right. There will be | no more movies for 30 days.

May 28, 1944. Morale couldn't | be lower. The crew is resentful.

The officers are just going through | the motions of carrying out orders.

Today, the captain ordered a general | drill for the safety of the crew.

This is the captain speaking. Many | of you aren't wearing battle gear.

Those not wearing a helmet or a life | jacket lose three days' liberty.

I see you! Knock that off! | Stop putting on that gear!

Put that man down there on report. | That one on number one machine gun.

You think you're clever. | You're not fooling me!

Get that red-headed fellow.

I can't tell which one's red-headed. | They're wearing their helmets.

This is the captain speaking. Some | of you think you can outsmart me.

You're mistaken. The innocent | will be punished with the guilty.

There will be no liberty for three | months. I won't be made a fool of.

July 30, 1944. Today we received | a gift from the USS Pinkney.

A gallon of frozen strawberries.

I was checking the watch at 0 1:00 | when I spoke to Ensign Keith.

How's it going?

The captain's been put away | for the night.

- Lay off. | - I was with you at the beginning.

- But no ship can go on like this. | - You don't know that.

- I'm not blind. | - All right.

The captain's in rocky shape, | but he'll come out of it.

The captain wants a meeting | of all officers.

- At 01:
00? What's it about? | - Strawberries.

- Are you sure this is a gallon can? | - Yes, sir. It's a lard can.

You must be wondering | why I called you here.

We had an excellent dessert tonight, | ice cream and frozen strawberries.

An hour ago, I sent for another | portion but got only the ice cream.

There weren't any more strawberries.

I don't believe that the officers | consumed a gallon of strawberries.

Mr Maryk, how many portions of ice | cream and strawberries did you have?

Two, sir.

Dole out a scoop of sand | for each portion.

- Mr Keefer, how many for you? | - Three, Captain.

- Keith? | - Two, sir.

- Harding? | - Two, sir.

- Painter? | - Two, sir.

- Comedy? Jorgensen...? | - Two, sir.

- And the steward's mates had three? | - Yes, one helping each.

- Mr Keith said it was okay. | - Yes, I did.

And I had four.

24 portions in all.

This tureen holds as much sand | as we had strawberries tonight.

Mr Maryk, | tell me how much sand is left.

Maybe a quart, | or a little less.

Have any of you an explanation for | the quart of missing strawberries?

Someone else finished them for us.

You will all investigate to find out | who's responsible for this theft.

- Mr Maryk, you're in charge. | - You mean in the morning?

Now, by my watch, does not | mean in the morning, but 01:47.

I expect a full report by 08:00.

Pipe down. Let's get this done | so we can get some sleep.

Send in the stewards.

If only the strawberries had been | poisoned, we'd be done with this.

We've learned nothing further about | the missing quart of strawberries.

- Unsatisfactory. | - Sorry, Captain.

We kept the mess boys and the cook | most of the night. It's a dead end.

- We went over it all endlessly. | - You accomplished nothing.

I've thought the whole thing out.

Someone made a duplicate key | to the icebox.

- There's no indication... | - Some things we must assume.

When I was an ensign on a cruiser, | five pounds of cheese was missing.

Everybody forgot about it but me.

I found out a chow hound had made | a wax impression of the icebox key.

He confessed and I got a letter of | commendation. It's the same here.

We can't be sure there's a key...

I've got a simple plan. We tag every | key on board with the owner's name.

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