The Canterbury Tales Page #2

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How much did we say?

Three, four hundred... everything.

Don't denounce me for my sin

of lust, for the love of God!

You swear by Christ you don't have

any coin to give me?

It's the truth, my lord, I swear.

My friend, I do this for your sake.

But I am a poor man, have mercy on me.

Ask the judge for mercy.

You'll be fried, my friend.

Fritters... fritters...

Just a minute, we're coming!

Excellent, my friend, you've

done yourself much honour.

I have new tasks for you.

Good morning, sir. Nice to meet you.

Welcome. Are you going far away?

No, nearby, to collect

a debt for my boss.

Are you a debt collector? So am I.

But I'm a stranger.

I don't know anybody here.

Shall we be friends and brothers?

Why not? On my word of honour.

Give me your hand.

Let's swear to be brothers

until the day we die.

I swear.

Brother, where is your district,

if some day I would need you?

Far away, behind the mountains.

I hope that soon you

will visit me up there.

Okay brother, as we are

both rent collectors,

teach me a trick or two

to earn more money.

Forget conscience or sin, speak

frankly, as brother to brother.

My wages are small and

I have to manage somehow.

So I live by extortion and blackmail.

So do I. Without them

I could not survive.

I know neither pity nor conscience.

We are made to be together.

Tell me, brother, what is your name?

Brother, do you really want to know?

I am the Devil and I dwell in hell.

I ride to earn a living, just as you do.

You cheat without scruples, just as I do.

I will keep you good company

until you will abandon me.

Even if you're the Devil,

I'll keep our sworn promise.

We're both out for profit.

We could share what we make.

I take my part, you take yours.

That is, you take all

that men want to give you.

Perfect, agreed. You'll take

your part while I will take

everything that men want to give me.

Here lives an old woman who'd rather

break her neck than part with a penny.

I want twelve pence from her,

under threat of summoning her to court.

She's not guilty

of the smallest of sins.

Watch how we do things, since you

are new in this. And learn.

God bless you, gentlemen.

What can I do for you?

I have an order. On penalty

of excommunication

you must appear before

the archdeacon tomorrow

and inform the court about certain things.

I am sure you know what I mean.

Give me twelve pence, and I'll

see that you're acquitted.

Where will I find twelve

pence, in the name of Holy Mary?

In all my life I've never had,

even seen twelve pence.

Have pity for the poor old.

Pay up, or I'll take your pitcher.

You owe me the fine I paid for you

when you first cuckolded your husband.

Liar! I've never been

summoned to court in my life.

And I've never been wicked with my body.

I hope the devil will take

your body and my pitcher too.

Dear madame, mother...

Did you really seriously mean

the words you just spoke?

Yes, the Devil take him alive, and

the pitcher, unless he repents.

No, you old witch, have no hope.

I won't repent for what I take

from you, no matter what happens.

Brother, don't take it wrong.

This pitcher and your

body are mine by right.

This very night you

will come with me to hell.

There you'll learn more from our secrets

than a Master of Theology.

NOTES FOR A BOOK

TALES OF PILGRIMS EN ROUTE TO CANTERBURY

TALE OF THE COOK

Get out, a**hole!

You've finished here!

Don't show your face here again!

Stop there!

I'll get you, rotten little thief!

You got the sack? You are

a disgrace to your family.

I'm sure your mother had

you by an Italian, not me.

Go to bed at once! No dinner for you!

Eat, my son. Don't let

your father see you.

Be a good boy.

Find another job tomorrow.

Promise me, in the name of God.

Master, do you have a job for me?

I do need a boy. I'll try you out.

Shine the eggs.

Shine, shine. And be careful.

Hey! What have you done?

It's nothing, Master.

It's a miracle. Let me see.

What a pity.

What an omelette.

- I must go out for a moment.

- Okay, Master.

You stay here and work.

Serve the customers well.

Why not come and play with us?

Can I join your game?

Scoundrel! You're sacked!

Better cast forth the rotten

apple before it rots all the rest.

You're right.

Perkin, come and meet my good wife.

She's a whore.

Perkin, dirty f*ggot!

I declare you under arrest.

You will be imprisoned in London,

pending your trial.

Geoffrey Chaucer!

Yes, my wife.

Robin, come here!

Alison, if I can't have you now,

my passion for you will kill me.

Love me, or I swear I'll die.

Let go of me, Nicolas.

Let go or I'll scream.

Keep your hands off me.

Alison, my dear love.

I want not only your body.

I am in love with you with all my soul.

I'll be your servant, your

slave, if you love me a little.

In that case, if you swear it...

I swear!

Then I will give you my love.

But when?

My husband is jealous. Guard

your secret well, or I'll be dead.

Then do as I tell you. Bring me

a basket with food for three days.

I'll be locked in my room.

Then, do just as I tell you.

And don't worry.

A student wouldn't be worth much

if he couldn't outwit a carpenter.

Once more!

Eggs, meat, vegetables, fruit...

Enough food for three days.

Bend which is rigid.

For everlasting joy.

Time to go, Martin.

Am I handsome?

Oh, Alison, my love.

Master Gervase, always working, eh?

When I was your age I liked to give

"incense" to all the parish wives too.

Alison, do you hear Absalon

singing under our window?

Yes, Giovanni. I hear every single note.

It's that valse sacristan

and thinks only of decking

himself out and eyeing females?

That's him exactly.

They say he minds his words

and is squeamish about farting.

Go sleep. You must be tired

after your journey to Osney.

Listen to Absalon,

chirping like a nightingale.

You're sure you haven't

seen our student all day?

Yes, sure. I have sent Jill too,

but there was no answer.

Robin, let's go and see.

Help us, Saint Frithuswith.

She's made of stone.

By Saint Thomas, I feel

sorry for our dear Nicolas.

I will go inside

and gently shake him

out of his meditations.

May I come in?

What's the matter? Look

down and think of our Lord.

I'll make the sign of the cross to

protect you from elves and spirits.

Jesus Christ and Saint Benedict,

protect this house.

The whole world will vanish soon.

By my astrology I have found out

that on next Monday

a fierce rain will fall,

double of Noah's flood.

Within an hour mankind will be drowned.

My poor wife. Oh God. Will

my poor Alison drown too?

Is there no remedy?

Yes, there is.

Follow my advice and I promise

I will save her, you and I.

We don't have time.

Go and get a trough or a tub immediately.

We need one for each of us.

They must be big enough to float.

And we need food for one day.

The rain will stop and retire

at 9 o'clock the next morning.

Send away your servants Robin and Jill.

When you've found tubs, hang

them high to the roof, out of sight.

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