The Canterbury Tales Page #3

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Put an axe in each, so we can cut

the ropes when the water comes.

Then we will float like lords, safe and

sound, as did Noah and his wife.

You and your wife must keep well apart.

Woe for any man who

commits carnal sin in this night.

Go to work now, and God be with you.

Quickly, let's go on board.

That's enough now. Quiet!

Absalon, come here. Listen.

The carpenter hasn't been seen all day.

Maybe he went to London.

Your girl is alone in her bed.

Yes? Then I'll run there.

Let's go.

- Get your smock off.

- No, I want to see you.

You first. I want to see it.

You lucky devil, Absalon.

Alison, it's me, Absalon.

What are you doing, my honey?

Alison, my sweet flower, beautiful bird.

Wake up, say something.

It's Absalon.

He's tried to win me with many gifts.

Sweet wine, hydromel,

beer brewed with spices.

Cultivated fruits,

hot wafers from the stove.

And as I'm a city girl, money too.

My love, I feel a love so great,

I'm fluttering like a turtle dove.

You fool! Better go away, because I

love another man better than you.

I know... True love

is always unfortunate.

If I cannot hope for

more, give me just a kiss.

If I do, will you go?

Certainly, my love.

Then lick your lips, I'm coming.

Be quiet, you'll die laughing.

Quick, so the neighbours don't see.

I am a gentleman now.

After this I would like more.

What have you done,

Alison? You'll pay for it!

- Master Gervase.

- What is it, Absalon?

Which beautiful girl has got you outside?

Lend me that poker from the

fire, I'll bring it back at once.

Take it. But why do you want it?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

Alison, it's me again,

your Absalon, my love.

What do you want?

I've brought you a golden ring,

my mother gave me. It's beautiful.

It's yours for another kiss.

It's my turn now.

Leave it to me.

Alison, where are you?

Just one more kiss.

Speak, sweetheart,

so I know where you are.

Water, for the love of God! Water!

My God, it's Noah's flood!

Come on, husband, come on!

You know what women are like.

We need to talk,

because we are capricious.

The less you give it,

the more we want it.

Are you finished?

Nothing "sssh". I'm not here

for your wish and desire.

Mary, get some water for your master.

What a lovely arse!

Lisotta!

What is it?

Adorable...

B*tch.

Ah, dear neighbour.

This is Mr. Gianozzo, my new

boarder, a student at Oxford.

- Nice to meet you.

- The pleasure is all mine.

I think I have seen you

somewhere before.

Who knows where?

What a fine, young stud.

But me too. All my husbands have told me

I have the best little p*ssy

of the whole city of Bath.

But you are married,

if I'm not mistaken.

Without bragging, you will never find me

without plans for weddings and so. Never.

And if you really want to know...

I think that mouse has

only one hole to hide.

If you want...

I could go with him to a

procession tomorrow.

Oh, my sweet husband, beloved husband!

Why are you leaving me?

Never again... Never again.

I came here to speak to you.

Then speak.

You have bewitched me,

no need to deny it.

I dreamt of you all night.

You tried to kill me

as I lay down on my back

and my bed was covered in blood.

You have bewitched me.

So, you'll have to marry me.

Marry? But I'm too young.

You see, my husband is dying

and those who know such things

agree it's a propitious dream.

Because blood...

means gold.

Lisotta, my hat.

How do I look?

Gianozzo, will you take

this woman here present

as your wedded wife by the

sacred rite of our Mother Church?

Alice, do you take

this man here present

as your wedded husband by the

sacred rite of our Mother Church?

And this is for the peeing of my dearly,

beloved fifth husband.

I hope I won't regret giving

you all the lands and rents

left me by four husbands before you.

In this book is everything.

And what is that "everything"...

for Saint Iodoca's sake?

It tells of Simplicius Gallus,

who left his wife for all time,

because once he caught her

looking outside.

And Eva, with her perversity,

has led men to misery,

and Christ to the Cross.

Xhanthippe now...

Xhanthippe poured a

piss-pot over Socrates' head...

and the saintly man wiped

his head and quietly said:

"Before the thunder stops,

the rain will fall."

I hate people who dare

tell me my faults,

like you think you can do!

You piece of sh*t! Swine!

You killed me so you

could enjoy in peace...

all my land and my money.

But I forgive you, and before I die...

Come here, give me one more kiss.

God, curse me for what I've done.

Forgive me. I beg you, my dear.

Yes, I forgive you.

My nose! My nose!

Rector, I do regret this illness

that keeps me in

bed like a newborn baby.

What grieves me more,

they take advantage.

Simone the miller steals

100 times more flour than before.

Sir Rector!

As our manciple is dying,

or looks as if he's about to,

why not let us go and watch

the miller grind our corn?

Good, you'd like to take on this task.

We bet the miller won't steal

not even one kilo of corn,

not by trickery nor force.

Okay, then go, gentle students.

Perhaps it is the best solution.

May the good Lord protect you.

Bend which is cold.

Heat up which is rigid.

For everlasting joy.

How lovely to go around

with nothing to do.

Why always be locked in school?

See how huge the world is.

You'd like a good screw now, Gianni?

We're worse than monks,

arses tight and d*cks hard.

Freedom! Freedom!

Simone, how is it going?

How are you, your pretty

daughter and your wife?

Not bad at all, I see.

What a lovely surprise, two

students instead of the manciple.

What brings you here?

Our manciple is dying.

So we've come to grind our corn.

What will you do while I grind it?

I'll stand by the funnel

to see the corn go in.

By the blood of my father,

I never saw the wheel work.

You do that and I'll go below

and watch the flour fall.

Because I'm a bad miller too, like Gianni.

Okay, guys. Get your sack

off the horse and bring it here.

- Who takes the bag?

- Give it to me.

Milling is a great job, eh, guys?

Make yourself at home, get to work.

Boss, start the sails,

we're ready. Come on!

They think they can't be tricked.

They are naive.

I'll give them bran instead of

flour, for all their philosophy.

Students are not always more intelligent.

The more they think they're

clever, the more I'll rob them.

There you are, guys, done in a trice.

Amusing... the funnel.

Interesting... the working of the trough.

The horse has escaped.

The horse of our Rector.

Which way did he go?

Your horse went to the

mares, fast as the wind.

He can't escape us both.

Why didn't you put him in the stall?

Get their bag and we'll fill

half of it with bran.

See them run, they are

like playing children.

Turmine, where are you?

Leave the mares alone!

You're as tired and wet as

two animals out in the rain.

We've caught the horse, but we beg for

your hospitality, for the love of God.

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