The Canterville Ghost Page #6

WELL?

THINKEST THOU THE ENEMY

WILL COME THIS WAY?

THAT ISN' WHAT'S WORRYING YOU.

WITH HALF AN EYE, ONE CAN SEE

THAT THOU HAST THE HEART OF A LION.

HORSEFEATHERS. GO AWAY, WILL YOU? GO ON!

I MERELY THOUGH I COULD BOLSTER YOU UP

IN CASE YOU WERE

A BIT SQUEAMISH.

I WANT TO BE SQUEAMISH!

QUIT CHECKING UP ON ME

AND SCRAM, WILL YOU?

AS YOU WILL.

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU

TO BEAT IT.

THOU ART MY ONLY HOPE,

MY ONLY SALVATION.

SIGN OFF, WILL YOU?!

WHAT'S HAPPENED

TO THOSE GUYS?

TRIGGER!

KEEP A COOL HEAD. KEEP A

COOL HEAD. KEEP A COOL HEAD.

GET OUT OF HERE!

GO ON, GET OUT!

MOTORCYCLE PATROL.

LOTS OF THEM.

MM-HMM.

WE'LL WAIT TILL WE SEE

THE BACKS OF THEIR TONSILS.

GOD, THERE'S HOPE.

TRIGGER.

TRIGGER!

GET 'EM, CUFFY.

FIRE, NEPHEW, FIRE!

FIRE, NEPHEW, FIRE!

NEPHEW! NEPHEW!

NEPHEW.

OH, ICE CREAM AND COOKIES

FOR FLAT-FOOTED ROOKIES

SO CHEER UP, MY LADS,

BLESS THEM ALL:

OH!

BLESS THEM ALL,

BLESS THEM ALL:

THE LONG AND THE SHOR AND THE TALL

BLESS ALL THE BLONDIES

AND ALL THE BRUNETTES

EACH LAD IS HAPPY

TO TAKE WHAT HE GETS

'CAUSE WE'RE GIVING

THE EYE TO THEM ALL

THE ONES THAT ATTRAC OR APPALL

MAUD, MAGGIE, OR SUSIE,

YOU CAN'T BE TOO CHOOSY

WHEN YOU'RE IN CAMP,

BLESS THEM ALL:

THE COLONEL'S COMPLIMENTS,

AND HE WANTS ME TO TELL YOU

THAT WE ARE THE BEST PLATOON

IN THE WHOLE OUTFIT.

HOORAY!

HOORAY!HOORAY!

BUT I'M NOT SATISFIED,

SO WE'RE GONNA TAKE

A LITTLE JAUNT INTO THE WOODS

AND IRON OUT THE MISTAKES

WE MADE ON OUR RAID.

RIGHT NOW.

RIGHT NOW!

FALL IN!

WILLIAMS.

I'VE DISCUSSED YOUR REPOR WITH THE COLONEL, AND HE FEELS

WE HAVE NO ALTERNATIVE BUT TO

TRANSFER YOU BACK TO YOUR OLD OUTFIT.

RULES ARE RULES, WILLIAMS, AND

WE CAN'T AFFORD TO RISK YOUR LIFE

AND THE LIVES OF OTHERS

TAKING ANOTHER CHANCE.

YES, SIR.

I'VE ARRANGED FOR A JEEP

TO PICK YOU UP AT 2200.

THANK YOU, SIR.

GOOD LUCK, WILLIAMS.

SIR, THE PLATOON

IS FORMED.

LEFT FACE!

RIGHT SHOULDER-

ARMS!

FORWARD MARCH!

GERTIE FROM BIZERTE

YOU'RE AS PURTY, PURTY,

PURTY AS CAN BE:

GERTIE FROM BIZERTE

DON'T YOU NEVER,

EVER DARE DESERTIE ME

THOUGH YOUR LINGO

I DON'T KNOW

WHEN WE KISS, YOU MAKE ME

HOLLER "BINGO!" HO HO HO

GERTIE FROM BIZERTE

YOU'RE THE GAL FOR ME

CUFFY, I'VE BEEN

EXPECTING YOU FOR DAYS,

AND AUNTIE:

PUT ME TO BED EARLY,

AND I COULDN'T SLEEP

ALL LAST NIGHT, AND-

CUFFY, WHAT HAPPENED?

YOU BETTER RUN ALONG HOME,

LADY. I GOT TO PACK.

YOU'RE GOING AWAY?

YEAH.

OH, CUFFY.

THAT'S RIGHT.

LOOK AT ME.

I'M A CANTERVILLE,

ALL RIGHT,

JUST AS COWARDLY

AS THE REST OF THEM.

DON'T SAY THAT.

YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

YOU'RE BRAVE.

I KNOW IT.

I KNOW IT.

ALL RIGHT, LADY,

HAVE IT YOUR OWN WAY.

CUFFY.

I'M SORRY

IT TURNED OUT THIS WAY.

GOOD-BYE, LADY.

CUFFY...

CUFFY! CUFFY!

THERE'S A PARACHUTE. I

JUST SAW IT COMING DOWN.

MAYBE A NAZI:

CAME DOWN IN IT.

OH, CUFFY,

WHAT WILL WE DO?

WHERE IS:

THAT PARACHUTE, LADY?

IT'S THIS SIDE

OF THE STONE BRIDGE.

WHERE'S THE STONE BRIDGE?

DO YOU KNOW THE OLD SIDE ROAD? NO.

I'LL TAKE YOU.

I KNOW A SHORTCUT.

ALL RIGHT. COME ON.

WE'LL GO IN THE JEEP.

THERE.

YOU STAY HERE.

DUCK DOWN.

DUCK DOWN!

PARACHUTE MINE!

A BLOCKBUSTER!

LET'S GO, LADY!

THAT THING GOES OFF, IT'LL KILL EVERY

LIVING THING WITHIN A HALF A MILE!

THE SLIGHTEST JAR

MIGHT START IT TICKING.

LOOK! THE RANGERS.

THEY'RE SCATTERED

ALL THROUGH THE WOODS.

THEY'LL BE KILLED.

JESSICA, GET BACK

TO THE CASTLE QUICK!

BUT AREN'T YOU

COMING?

I GOT TO HAUL IT AWAY WITH THE

JEEP, DUMP IT OVER THE CLIFF.

GET GOING NOW. RUN QUICK!

HIDE IN THE CELLAR!

RUN!

LADY JESSICA!

OH, UNCLE SIMON!

WHERE'S CUFFY? HAS HE

ENCOUNTERED THE ENEMY?

OH, UNCLE SIMON, CUFFY'S

MOVING A BLOCKBUSTER.

HE'S DOING THE BRAVES DEED THAT EVER WAS.

THE PORTRAI OF A CANTERVILLE.

NO, UNCLE, NO!

YOU'RE NOT A COWARD!

YOU'RE NOT A COWARD!

CUFFY, YOU WERE

DOING THE BRAVE DEED.

DON'T YOU SEE?

YOU CAN DO IT!

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID

BECAUSE YOU'RE A CANTERVILLE.

YOU ONLY THINK YOU DO.

LOOK, CUFFY, I'M NO AFRAID OF THE MINE!

LOOK, CUFFY, LOOK!

I'M NOT AFRAID OF THE

MINE! LOOK, CUFFY, LOOK!

I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING

BECAUSE, BECAUSE...

IT'S TICKING!

JESSICA!

RUN FOR IT, LADY!

I'M ALL RIGHT NOW.

GO GET OUT OF HERE.

I'M ALL RIGHT,

I TELL YOU! RUN!

OUT OF MY WAY!

CAREFUL, NEPHEW.

CAREFUL.

GET IN, UNCLE.

KEEP YOUR EYE:

ON THAT TOW CHAIN.

UH!

OOH!

HEY, YOU RANGERS,

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

WE GOT A BLOCKBUSTER

ON HERE,

A TIME BOMB!

RUN! BLOCKBUSTER!

OOH!

OH!

HEY, UNCLE,

WHERE ARE YOU?

HERE!

WHOA!

NEPHEW!

NEPHEW!

IF IT'LL ONLY HOLD

FOR 20 SECONDS MORE!

4, 5, 6, 7,

8, 9, 10, 11...

13, 14, 15, 16...

RUN, UNCLE, RUN!

AAH!

RUN, NEPHEW!

27, 28, 29, 30,

31, 32, 33, 34,

35, 3-

WHAT'S ALL THIS HOOEY

ABOUT TICKING?

IT'S A DUD.

HOW WILL WE EVER

GET IT INTO PLACE AGAIN?

OH, MY.

MY BOWLER.

NEVER MIND YOUR BOWLER.

GO AND RING UP:

THE AIR RAID SERVICE.

OH, DEAR.

WELL, I SUPPOSE WE'RE LUCKY

TO HAVE ESCAPED WITH OUR LIVES.

JESSICA.

I MADE HIM DO IT.

CUFFY.

NOW, DARLING,

WE'LL GO HOME,

AND I'LL PUT YOU

IN YOUR NICE WARM BED.

I'LL GET YOUR THINGS.

GERTIE FROM BIZERTE

YOU'RE THE GAL FOR ME

GERTIE FROM BIZERTE

CUFFY!

... AS CAN BE

GERTIE FROM BIZERTE

DON'T YOU NEVER,

EVER DARE DESERTIE ME

DESERTIE ME:

THOUGH YOUR LINGO

I DON'T KNOW

WHEN WE KISS, YOU MAKE ME

HOLLER "BINGO!" HO HO HO

GERTIE FROM BIZERTE

YOU'RE THE GAL

FOR ME:

CUFFY, YOU'RE ALIVE.

HOW DID YOU DO IT?

I JUST DUMPED THE COCKEYED

THING RIGHT INTO THE RAVINE.

LIKE SAINT GEORGE

SLAYING THE COCKEYED DRAGON.

OH! UNCLE SIMON.

WHAT, CHILD?

IF CUFFY IS:

A CANTERVILLE,

AND HE'S DONE

A BRAVE DEED FOR YOU,

THEN WHY ARE YOU

STANDING HERE?

YEAH. WHY AREN'T YOU IN THA GARDEN BEYOND THE PINE WOODS?

FATHER.

FATHER!

FATHER!

POOR UNCLE SIMON.

FATHER!

FATHER.

THANK YOU, NEPHEW.

THANK YOU, NIECE.

FAREWELL.

FAREWELL, UNCLE.

FAREWELL.

DID YOU SEE THAT,

LIEUTENANT?

THAT'S WHAT WE'VE BEEN

TRYING TO...

GEE, THAT CERTAINLY IS A

LONG TIME TO GO WITHOUT SLEEP.

YES, BUT YOU NEARLY

ALWAYS HAVE TO WAI FOR ANYTHING

YOU WANT VERY MUCH.

HOW OLD ARE YOU,

CUFFY?

WHY?

I SHALL BE 7 IN MAY.

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