The Caretaker
Birdie?
Birdie?
Birdie?
You all right?
Birdie?
Get out of my house.
Hello?
What?
I'm going to birdie's.
Her caretaker's abandoned her.
Well, she's old,
and she needs my help.
She's not taking her medication,
and she told the doctor
that I'm her cure.
Look, Mal, I understand.
Hold on one second.
August hill.
I saw an open vacancy at that
nursing home that we passed.
Birdie in a home?
She's not gonna go for that.
I can only lead the horse
to water.
Every six hours.
And she's almost out of tanks.
Birdie's got the script.
She asked me to give you this.
Um, sorry.
Dr. Frances,
we can't take care of her.
Her malady has more will
than her judgment.
She needs haloperidol.
And if not, relapse is certain.
You do remember
what happened last time.
Good night, Mallorie.
Please don't leave.
Good night.
Doc...
what in the world is that?
That's her.
- You need help?
- No, no, no.
You stay here because
she'll flip if she sees you.
She's gonna see me eventually.
Because we're gonna hire
a caretaker tomorrow,
and we're gonna
get the hell out of here.
Lionel?
It's me, Mallorie.
Hello, darling.
Who? Gilberto?
Before that, Luis,
who was fired?
He was always into my forks.
And before the fork thief?
Eleanor?
Always into my business.
And Sammy?
Perv.
Darling.
It's good to see you.
Good to see you.
I'm gonna hire a caretaker
tomorrow.
No! No more help, darling.
Just you.
After all, death should not be
a private affair.
Families stay together.
You're not gonna die.
Of the dead kind.
I'm so glad you came.
Baby!
Let's make some babies?
I like this bed.
- Let's get started.
- I'm sorry.
- No.
- What?
You have to sleep on the couch.
Babe, what do you mean? No.
You know birdie
when she's not on her medicine.
- It's dusty.
It's not long enough either.
I'm telling you.
No, babe, it's creepy out there,
and it smells.
- I'm sorry.
- No. Baby...
- Good night, August.
- No. I love you. Baby...
- Good night.
- Can I touch you?
What's birdie's Wifi password?
I see you received Scarlett?
Scarlett?
Yes, we buried her
when you were four years old.
Why'd we bury her?
I don't know. Everybody buries
something from their past.
It's human nature, I guess.
before mom left.
how to sew.
Why did you stop?
Birdie...
Birdie, let it go.
Birdie...
Birdie, let go.
You're gonna cut yourself.
Why don't you
take Scarlett with you?
Why are you doing this?
Mal.
August too.
August too.
August too.
Mal.
Mal?
Like I was saying earlier,
when she's sleepwalking,
and it's been worrying me.
Vocalizing dreams is
very common for sleepwalkers.
- It's probably harmless.
- Probably?
Doc, it's becoming
more and more frequent.
Look at these pictures.
August, if what you've
told me is correct,
and Mallorie's current pattern
continues to escalate,
She could say that she's
starting to see things.
on her surroundings.
Does she ever talk about
wanting to move?
Wanting to move?
No, never.
She just moved in with me
four months ago.
Is there a pattern
of instability in her family?
Well, her mother left her
when she was real young,
and her grandmother
took care of her.
But her grandmother's old.
I've only met her once.
But I promise, doc, things are
amazing between her and I.
Everything besides
the sleepwalking.
Why don't you just hire someone?
Because she hates people.
Well, some things never change.
Yup.
She's crazy.
Let's get crazy tonight.
Yeah, sure, if I can
get birdie to sleep
or take her medicine
or hire a caretaker.
Penny? Hey, love, it's me.
Who do you know in classifieds?
- No, no, no, no.
- Ha-ha, too late, transferring.
Hi. I wish to take out an ad.
Yes. "Caretaker.
Please call for appointment.
Watch Movies and Series!
Bye. See ya later.
Refrain from lustful relations.
Define "lustful relations."
I'm sure our definitions
are quite different, birdie.
Would you accept
an uninvited into your home?
- Uninvited?
- Birdie.
- Love.
- Look at you.
What are you doing?
Okay, um, go upstairs, okay?
I'll meet you there in a minute.
How long has she been down here?
Does she use a mirror
when she puts on her lipstick?
What were you talking about?
The rules of death.
What the hell?
- Hang on. I'll be back.
- Where you going?
Babe?
Wait.
I've been waiting for an excuse
to use this thing.
Look at this.
Really? Gonna use that thing?
Watch this.
This is old school.
Boom.
Put this here, flip it over.
One, two, tres.
Like so.
Bada-bing.
Bada...
There you go.
Good luck.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Where were you today?
I missed you.
Lunch with Taylor.
Do you remember her?
I always wanted better for you.
Sh*t! Birdie, I'm so sorry.
Sh*t. I'm so sorry.
I'll be right back.
Sh*t.
- You okay, babe?
- Yeah, no, no, no, I...
What?
Hey, birdie.
You broke a rule.
Now it's just a matter of time
who will die first.
Me...
Or you.
Excuse me, birdie?
- Babe, you okay?
- Yeah, yeah.
- You sure?
- Yeah, yeah. I got it.
I'm so sorry. Did I burn you?
Did it go right through?
I'm sorry.
Did it really get you?
I'll make you another one, okay?
All right.
This might call up the devil.
"Awakening spirits."
Which one?
Ooh.
"Being touched by the hands of
a spirit
during sances were common,
as were tables vibrating,
shifting and moving."
No ink. Figures.
Hey, birdie.
Where's Mallorie?
I think she's Internet shopping
on her phone.
My mind must be clear.
I'm leaving you for good.
No. You and the child
are staying with me.
She belongs here.
She loves me.
She loves me more than
you and he ever did.
She's gonna be the daughter
you never were.
Goodbye, mother.
I call bullshit on skydiving.
B.S. On being
related to Diane Keaton.
Okay, so you guys think
it's true that I actually
skinny-dipped
with Zach Galifianakis.
- Hell yeah.
- Yes.
Damn it.
Gosh.
Chug, chug, chug, chug.
Okay. Me?
Okay.
Um, my mom Eva
was murdered by a late-night
intruder when I was four.
I can speak
two different languages.
And I once saw a circus clown
smiling at me
from just over there.
Where I'm sleeping?
That's bullshit, I hope,
but I'm not sleeping there.
Bullshit on the languages
and your mom.
No, um, my mom wasn't murdered,
but she did walk out on me
when I was four,
so either way, she's dead to me.
Excuse me, Taylor long-legs.
Thank you.
Hey, baby.
Nice curly hair, babe.
No.
Unless you're part of
putting paint on your face
is a no-no for any man.
- Mal.
- No.
- Yes, yes.
- No, no, no.
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"The Caretaker" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 12 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_caretaker_19892>.
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