The Case of the Mukkinese Battle Horn
- Year:
- 1956
- 29 min
- 62 Views
London.
Yes, London.
Who can fail to recognize
the city's great landmarks?
Here, in Trafalgar Square, for
instance, there is Nelson's Column.
And even in the worst fog,
you cannot miss Nelson's Column.
You see? There's someone
not missing it now!
But there is one famous London
landmark which anyone could miss.
tucked away in a little side turning.
Recognize it?
Scotland Yard.
Scotland Yard is the
headquarters of the CID:
The Criminal Investigation
Department of the London Police.
Let us take a look at the
world-famous CID at work
through the medium of
a true real-life case,
a factual documentary record straight
from the files of Scotland Yard.
Yes, the case of the Mukkinese Battle-Horn.
The theft was not discovered
until the following morning.
Get me Scotland Yard.
Within minutes of the report of the
burglary, the CID was on the scene
in the person of the Yard's Ace
Detective, Superintendent Quilt.
Good morning, sir.
Good morning, Constable.
Where's the body?
Body, sir? Oh there's no body here.
You mean... we're alone?
Wasting no time, Superintendent Quilt
and Sergeant Brown began
Look, sir! An impression of a heel!
Very clever, Brown. But we haven't
time for your impressions now.
Thank you, sir.
I say, you there,
are you the body?
- No, are you?
Oh, no. I'm Superintendent
Quilt of Scotland Yard.
Delighted to meet you. My name's
Noddule, I'm a curator here.
- How do you do?
- Ha, ha, how do you do?
- Give me my glove, will you?
- Certainly, of course.
Hello?
Hello? I thought we just met.
What have we got over here?
What's all this about, eh?
That? Oh, we had a robbery last night.
A robbery... Anything stolen?
Metropolitan Museum,
Mukkinese Battle-Horn,
ninth century, copper
inlaid with ruby enamel.
You've been swindled, old man.
- What?
- Yes. This is an ordinary house brick.
I know. The Mukkinese
Battle-Horn has been stolen.
- What?
- Aaaaah!
I must warn you that
anything that you say
will be taken down and used
in evidence against you.
Sergeant Brown?
- Yes, sir?
- Make a note of that.
- Right, sir.
- Have you got all that?
- No, sir! - Good.
You know, Noddule, it strikes
me as very, very fishy
why the thief chose this
Mukkinese Battle-Horn thing
when there were all these other rare
and valuable items lying around.
Really?
Mm-hmm. Such as those
golden slave bangles.
- By Jove, you're right!
- Yes...
He could have easily whipped one
of those Chinese jade ornaments.
Or even this.
This priceless Grecian vase...
Botheration! Cleggett!
Nip round to Woolworth's
and get me another one of those
priceless Grecian vases, will you?
- Mister Noddule?
- Yes?
Can you give me a full description
of this Mukkinese Battle-Horn?
Description? I can do
better than that. Cleggett!
Yes?
Bring in the other
Mukkinese Battle-Horn.
- The other?
- Yes. This one was one of a pair.
Supposed to be the only
identical pair in existence.
Come now then, Noddule!
Do you take me for a raving idiot?
Well I...
I beg your pardon. I'm an officer
of the Police Force and I...
Aagh!
So, um...this is it, is it?
Yes. This is it.
It sort of looks like a trumpet, sir.
With a little more plumbing, of course.
Look, um, tell me one thing.
- Yes?
- What are these holes?
Oh I'm glad you mentioned those.
They are for changing
the pitch of the note.
I see.
Now this one here,
this one here is for D-Sharp...
That's rather ingenious.
Yes, yes, yes. And that
one there is for A-Flat.
- Terribly stunning.
- Yes.
Wait. What's this hole here for?
Used razor blades.
Mister Noddule, you're
trying to be funny, sir.
Aren't we all?
Soon the various experts from the
CID began appearing on the scene.
At eleven ten, the police
photographers arrived,
photographed the police,
and hurried away again.
At eleven thirty, Quilt
began his interrogation
of witnesses and possible suspects.
Send in the night watchman, J. Smith.
Yes sir. Call J. Smith!
Hellooo!
Ooooh.
Fine, fine, fine fine.
Everything's going to be fine..."
Oh, here, what're you doing? Lemme go!
Lemme go, now! Take your feet off me!
- Are you J. Smith?
- Nope, nope.
- He's not J. Smith, Brown.
- He's not J. Smith Brown!
- That's not Brown!
- That's not Brown.
Where were you on the
night of the throventeenth?
I was at the pictures.
I was at the pictures!
BANG! A car went bang, bang, bang,
wit-tidda-dum, dayday, fine.
What about the Mukkinese Battle-Horn?
What about the Mukkinese Battle-Horn?
It's been stolen!
Oooh. It's been stolen.
Constable, get this idiot out of here!
- Get this idiot out of here!
- Next witness please.
I won't stand for it! I'll show you!
Next please, Constable.
Yes sir. Next witness!
This is mister Crimpe,
the janitor, sir.
Mister Crimpe, would you
like to tell us your story?
Yes, sir. Well, I was proceeding
in an orderly manner
towards the main gate last night
in order to lock up...
Mm-hmm...
When suddenly, somebody jumps out
and wallops me on me 'ead.
Yes sir. Wallop, wallop,
wallop, on me 'ead.
I turns 'round, and wallop,
wallop, wallop again!
Incredible.
Down I goes I goes and wallop,
wallop, wallop on me 'ead again!
Then, just as I start to get up,
wallop, wallop, wallop...!
- On your head?
- Yes sir. Wallop...
- Wallop?
- Wallop.
Tell me, mister Crimpe, did you notice
anything peculiar about these men?
- Yes, sir.
- What?
They kept on wallopin' me on me 'ead.
Is there anything else?
Yes, sir.
Could I have an aspirin?
Constable, look after
mister Crimpe, would you?
Thank you very much, sir.
The next witness!
Wallop, very good is it?
The next witness is waiting, sir.
Now then, sir.
Where were you on the night
of the throventeenth?
Don't you remember?
- Have you got all that down, Brown?
- Yes, sir!
Well, rub it out again, would you?
Superintendant Quilt
hurried back to Scotland Yard
and within minutes of his arrival,
the well-oiled machinery
of the CID sprang into action.
calling car eleven D! Urgent.
Turn left into Oxford Street
and head west,
turn left into Oxford Street
and head west.
Calling car five K, car five K,
and head due east,
turn right into Oxford...
Calling ambulance one-seven,
calling ambulance one-seven...
The search continued. During the
afternoon, several arrests were made.
With nightfall, the weather
took a turn for the worse.
But, even in the darkest, foggiest street,
London's indomitable
police searched on,
stopping late wayfarers and
ruthlessly questioning them.
- Hey! Hey, you two!
- Uh, yes?
Can you tell me the way
back to the police station?
- It's just over there.
- Thank you.
Darling, how romantic!
We must be near the river.
By noon the following day, vast amounts
of vital evidence were pouring in.
It's a letter, sir.
- Good work, Brown.
- Thank you sir.
Now let's see what this
letter's all about, shall we?
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"The Case of the Mukkinese Battle Horn" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_case_of_the_mukkinese_battle_horn_19896>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In