The Cat from Outer Space Page #6

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- Liz, you've got to do it.

Im desperate. No money, no gold.

No gold, no liftoff. But... (clears throat)

But if we deliver,

look what we get in return...

the solution to half the problems

on this planet.

- Just show me how to hold the pole.

- Good girl.

We need a stake. Ive got about 12 bucks.

Its in my hip pocket. Will you get it for me?

- OK, that's 12. How much do you have?

- Me? l think l got 20.

- 20? Liz?

- Uh...

- l just have my mad money.

- Give it to us. Please?

Come on.

Boy, when this dame gets mad,

she gets mad.

l was going to buy

a whole spring wardrobe, Link.

- OK. Ernie.

- Boss, here's the bankroll.

- Ernie, we bet 300 at 20 to 1.

- Check.

Not in your lifetime, Ernie.

Honest Harry holds.

All right, you want Honest Harry,

you got Honest Harry.

300 at 20 to 1.

That's 6,000 clams.

And here's our 300.

Earnest Ernie, 6,000.

The mark, 300.

And may the best man win.

Or woman, as the case may be.

Young lady, it's your break.

Come on, don't be so stingy

with the onions.

Here, take the collar, Liz.

OK, here.

Link, keep your eye on him.

lf he blinks just once...

Miss? Do you mind?

We're waiting.

- Now, that's a sandwich. Right?

- (sniffs)

Right.

- Taking a nap.

- Naturally.

Nice break, young lady. Very nice.

Unfortunately, you didn't sink anything,

- but there's always tomorrow.

- (laughter)

Show her how to do it.

OK, Slim, go get her.

Ooh, l can't watch this. (laughs)

- Frank, Im sorry.

- No, it's not your fault.

(ball pockets. applause)

(ball pockets. applause)

(man) Attaway, Slim.

Attaway, baby.

l guess we are licked.

lf only Jake hadn't got knocked out...

(whispers) Frank! Frank, look.

Jake!

Jake?

Frank, he must have just woke up.

- Jake, are you all right?

- Yeah. Where am l? What happened?

Im Liz Bartlett.

Im responsible for your being...

- Liz, Liz, sshh.

- Oh, well.

Jake, we have got to win this pool game.

That's money in the bank.

Look at it!

Honest Harry, guess who's here?

Ernie?

Here's our last 60 bucks.

What are the odds now?

Im sorry. l can't do it.

- No bet.

- No bet?

Its part of my code of ethics.

Always leave the sucker rent money.

That's not fair!

Honest Harry?

lf the mark wants to go complete top city,

he's got a constitutional right.

And l stand on it.

The odds, Ernie?

Its ridiculous. But if l didn't have

no principles, Id say 100 to 1.

Suppose... Suppose she gives

Sarasota Slim 12 balls?

What a sense of humor!

300 to 1.

- And the break.

- The break?

500 to 1.

And blindfolded.

- What?

- Blindfolded!

- 2,000 to 1.

- You're on.

$60 at 2,000 to 1.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute!

Are you seriously serious?

- You're not thinking of welching, are you?

- But l thought you was putting me on.

Earnest Ernie, it would not do

your reputation any credit

if word was to circulate that you reneged

on a wager duly offered and accepted.

- Get the big bundle, Weasel.

- But, boss...

Get it!

All right.

Let me understand this.

Slim gets 12 balls and the break?

- And she shoots blindfolded.

- (laughs)

She'll never get to the table.

120 Gs, boss.

Don't put it away, Honest Harry,

you ain't gonna hold it long.

All right, Slim.

Show 'em no mercy.

Nice. Nice break, Slim.

Unfortunately, you didn't sink nothing,

but there's always tomorrow.

- l believe Im up.

- Hold it. Blindfolded.

Oh.

Could you back off?

(applause)

You did it, Jake.

You did it.

- Thank you, sir.

- Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

it was really nothing.

Thank you.

Frank, we won! Thank you. Thank you.

Thanks, all of you. Thank you.

Im sorry about things being upside down,

but l took these pictures

at risk of life and limb.

There's the cat, sir.

Notice his collar?

Well, well.

What did you think of it, Mr. Olympus?

Its just mind-boggling, isn't it?

l mean, it boggled my mind.

Did it boggle yours, sir?

Thank you, Omar.

Yes, Mr. Stallwood, you are quite correct.

it is ''mind-boggling,''

as you so graphically put it.

The possibilities are infinite.

A revolution in transportation, space

exploration, colonizing the planets.

The man who owns the secret

of this device could control...

The world, sir?

The universe.

Oh, my!

Well, then, sir, l don't suppose it would be

out of place to suggest a bonus.

- A bonus?

- A small bonus.

Mr. Stallwood, if l gain

the secret of that device,

you may well become a very rich man.

l may?

Oh, sir, l... really may?

Omar, prepare the copter.

We leave at once.

l must have that collar.

l will have that collar.

OK. All set, General.

- Is it programmed?

- All the pertinent information fed in.

- Everything we know.

- Question number one, sir.

Question number one.

Who is the pilot?

it is a pussycat!

This machine is having

a nervous breakdown.

Get on the ball, young man. Feed that

information through again. Reassess.

Yes, sir.

- General Stilton, sir.

- What is it, Sergeant?

That purchase Dr. Link made... we

checked it out. Its a large quantity of gold.

- Gold?

- Yes, sir.

Its a Machiavellian conspiracy.

Radio.

This is Big Cheese calling

Dydee One. Where are you, Dydee One?

Outside the suspect's apartment.

Don't let them out of your sight.

Another printout, General.

Of all the...

Wait a minute. Radio.

- Dydee One.

- Yes, sir.

- Didn't they carry a cat into that pool hall?

- Yes, sir, they did.

Gentlemen, it's time to move in.

- Colonel.

- Captain.

$120,000 in one lump sum.

Jake, how'd you like to hang around

and watch me parlay this into a fortune?

- l wish l could hang around.

- Im sorry, Jake. The time?

Huh? Oh, yeah.

Sorry, Lucy.

- l guess Id better reduce the gold.

- Reduce it?

- What are you talking about?

- Its a new concept in calculating mass.

On Jake's planet, they use a system based

on content, rather than on the quantitative...

Frank! You've got a whole lifetime

to explain that. Ive got less than an hour.

Now, stand back, everybody.

- All right, don't move! All hands in the air!

- What are you doing?

- Dr. Frank Wilson?

- You can't butt in here!

- Dr. Frank Wilson, you are under arrest.

- And the pussycat, General.

And the pussycat.

- Read them their rights, Colonel.

- Captain?

- Sergeant?

- Never mind.

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can be used against

you in a court of law. You have the right...

- Good heavens.

- Frank...

- What happened?

- (Frank) They're frozen.

Holy mackerel!

Now they're on to us, how are we to get into

Hopscotch? You can't zap the whole base.

- Yeah, well, Ill think of something.

- They'll probably be on alert.

First things first.

Let's get this gold reduced, then we'll worry

about getting on the base. Now stand back.

OK. Here goes.

Ohh.

That is unbelievable.

Oh, Jake.

- Are you all right?

- Yeah. Yeah.

(Link) Yeah, come on.

Let's get out of here.

No. Wait a minute. Wait, wait. l think Ive

got the perfect way to get us onto the base.

Maybe we ought to give 'em a buzz.

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