The Cat in the Hat Page #2

- Joan, I need you to come back to the office.

- Today?

- Yes, Joan.

- No problem?

- No problem at all.

Great!

- What's going on, Mommy?

Mommy has to go

back to the office.

Oh! I hope Mrs. Kwan

can baby-sit.

- Not Mrs. Kwan!

Oh!

Hi, Mrs. Kwan.

Hi.

I'm running late.

Thanks for babysitting

on such short notice.

Mmm, yeah.

Okay, Mrs. Kwan.

Oh-oh-oh!

I'll be back

in a couple of hours.

Hi.

Conrad's grounded,

so no video games.

Sally?

Last chance.

If you wanna make cupcakes,

I can take you to

your friend Ginny's house.

- Ginny's not my friend anymore.

Last time we made cupcakes

she wanted to be the head chef.

I'm the head chef.

What about Denise, then?

She talked back to me,

so I ordered her

not to speak to me anymore.

- And you don't like bossy?

- I won't tolerate it.

Right.

Well, if you're both staying,

remember the rules.

Conrad:
No playing ball

in the house, no fighting,

no answering the phone,

"City morgue."

Mommy,

can't I have some rules?

No chewing tobacco.

Thanks, Mom.

You have my word.

And absolutely no one

sets foot in the living room, or else.

Or else what?

You're gonna do what Larry said

and send me to military school?

Maybe if you'd just behave,

I wouldn't have to consider military school.

I wish I could trust you.

I wish I had a different mom.

Well, sometimes

I wish the same thing.

Mmm.

Good luck with your meeting.

Children, would you like

to watch television with me?

- We don't have to tell your mother.

Taiwanese parliament.

You tell them, Kwi-Chang!

No more big government!

Rip his heart out!

Hit me!

So they slumped in their chairs,

too glum to complain,

and to make matters worse,

it started to rain.

They sat in the house...

on that cold, cold, wet day...

with no fun to have...

and no games to play.

They could just

stare out the window...

or perhaps get a nap in,

and hope that something,

anything might happen.

Quit bothering

the fish.

I know.

Quit bothering the fish.

Spit hand!

Oh, gross!

Get that away from me!

Get it away!

Then something went bump.

- What was that?

How that bump

made them jump.

I think it came

from the closet.

Conrad?

Conrad.

Come on, Conrad.

You shouldn't scare people.

You should've seen

the look on your face.

It was like you saw a monster...

A monster? Where?

That could've gone better.

What was that?

I don't know.

Looked like

a humongous cat.

"Humongous"?

I prefer the term "big-boned" or jolly."

Now, what are we hiding from?

That was a giant cat.

But that's impossible,

isn't it?

It's entirely

impossible.

You know,

I like this hiding place

a lot better.

They'll never

find us here.

Scream and run.

And there they go.

Who are you?

Who? Me?

Why, I'm the Cat in the Hat.

There's no doubt about that.

I'm a "super-fun-diferous" feline...

who's here to make sure

that you're...

Meeline? Key lime?

Turpentine?

I got nothin'.

I'm not so good with the rhyming.

Not really, no.

Look, I'm a cat

that can talk.

That should be enough

for you people!

I can talk!

I'm a cat! Yes!

Where did you come from?

Hmm, how do I put this?

When a mommy cat and a daddy cat

love each other very much,

they decide that...

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Where did you come from?

My place!

Where do you think?

No, how did you get here?

I drove!

Look, I've been here two whole minutes,

and no one has offered me a drink.

Harrumph!

- Sorry, Mr. Cat.

Would you like some milk?

- Milk? Ecch! No!

Lactose intolerant.

Gums up the works. Oy.

You'll thank me later.

Wipeout!

- Hello!

@@Yeah!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Yee-hee-hee!

Nice spread you got here.

Homina-homina-homina-homina!

Who is this?

Ohh!

That's my mom.

Awkward, yeah.

Yes, this place will do

quite nicely, actually. Yeah.

Although those drapes

are a train wreck.

And this is the lumpiest couch

I ever sat on.

Who is this dreadfully

uncomfortable woman?

Get off her.

That's our babysitter.

What the... Babysitter?

You don't need one of those,

do ya?

Let me get this straight.

You pay this woman...

to sit on babies?

That's disgusting!

I'd do it for nothing!

Hmm!

Now, let's see

what the old "phunometer"

has to say.

- "Phunometer"?

- Yeah. It measures

how fun you are.

Hi.

Huh?

Ohh.

Ah. Control freak.

Yeah.

Now you.

Hi. How are ya?

- Whoa!

Oh.

Tap it.

Listen, kid,

you can tap it with a hammer,

it ain't gonna change.

Just as I suspected.

You guys are both out of whack.

You're a control freak,

and you're a rule-breaker.

That'll be $700.

Who's your insurance carrier?

- So, what do we do?

- Well, there are two treatments

I'd recommend.

One is a series of painful shots

injected into your abdomen and kneecap.

And the other...

involves a musical number!

@ Me-Me-Me-Meow @

How many shots?

"How many shots?"

Aren't you precious?

Maestro!

@ I know it is wet @

@ And the sun is not sunny @

@ But we can have lots of

good fun that is funny @

@ It's fun to have fun @

@ But you got to know how @

Hair ball.

@ I know lots of good tricks

and I'll... @

Stop this right now!

Huh?

- Who said that?

- Me!

Remember? The fish?

Came home in a Baggie,

loved me for two weeks, and then nothing!

- The fish is talking!

- Well, sure, he can talk.

But is he saying anything?

No, not really. No.

Hey, Socks, can it!

This cat should not be here.

He should not be about.

He should not be here

when your mother is out.

Come on, kids!

You gonna listen to him?

He drinks where he pees!

@There was this cat I knew

back home where I was bred @

@ He never listened to

a single thing his mother said @

@He never used the litter box

He made a mess in the hall @

@That's why they sent him

to a vet @

@To cut off both his ba... @

ba... ba...

@ Boy, that wasn't

fun, fun, fun @

@ He never learns

You can have fun, fun, fun @

But less is more!

@They may ship you off to school

so rein it in a little @

@ We can't spell "fun"

without "U" in the middle @

Human, this cat is currently in violation

of... 17 of your mother's rules!

City morgue!

- Eighteen!

- Ol!

Ooh!

@ You can juggle work and play

but you have to know the way @

@ You can keep afloat a wish

like the way I do this fish @

@ You can be a happy fella

Someone throw me that umbrella @

@ And that rake, that cake

Life's what you make it @

@ So have fun, fun, fun @

@ Go insane and have

some fun, fun, fun @

@Just look at me

Fun, fun, fun @

@ No more rain

Look, it's the sun, sun, sun @

@ So can't you see

I'm as happy as a clam

I'm as fit as a fiddle @

@ Yeah, the dogs

may bark about you @

@ And the purebred chaps

may doubt you @

Getting motion sickness!

Milk? Big mistake.

@ But remember this

You can't have fun without "U" @

I can't breathe!

Ohh!

Whoa!

I knew that milk would

come back to haunt me.

Help! Help!

@"U" in the middle @@

- Bravo, Cat.

- Huh?

These children are smart enough

not to fall for your MTV-style flash...

at the expense of content

and moral values.

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