The Chocolate War Page #3

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So you steal the smokes,

or you borrow the money,

but you meet me after lunch with the pack.

Lucky's.

Get out of here!

So, Archie,

think I could be a Vigil one day?

He's got the money.

I mean, don't you think?

He's just got the money.

But, you know,

he's just lying through his teeth.

I bet you kick old ladies down the stairs

and trip cripples on the street, huh?

Such a terrible mark, Caroni.

I know.

And you're usually a splendid scholar.

- Thank you, Brother Leon.

- One of the few boys here on scholarship.

- I'm sorry...

- How are your other marks, Caroni?

Fine. Well, they're fine. In fact,

I mean, I was aiming for honors this term.

- But now I can't...

- Yes, the F surprised me, too,

because you are

such an excellent scholar, David.

One thing the students

don't always realize, David,

is that teachers are human, too.

Human like other people.

We have good days and bad days. We get tired.

We sometimes goof.

It is even possible for us

to make mistakes while grading papers,

especially when the answers

aren't cut-and-dried.

Did you ever hear a teacher admit

it's possible he made a mistake?

Did you ever hear that one before, David?

No one is without error.

And I've been working extra hard,

carrying the burden since the Head's illness.

Running the school, as well as teaching

and running the chocolate sale.

For instance, now, you...

Caroni, Caroni, Caroni. You...

You have done fine in this.

Eighteen boxes sold.

Not only are you an excellent scholar,

but you have school spirit.

If everyone did his part, like you, David,

this sale could be a tremendous success.

But, unfortunately, not everyone

has your spirit, David.

Take Renault, for instance.

It's funny about him, isn't it?

Actually, I feel badly for him.

He must be a very troubled boy

to behave this way.

I guess so.

Well, David?

- Speaking of Jerry Renault...

- Yes?

But I'm sure you know what it's all about.

- The Vigils. The assignment.

- Of course. Of course.

He's supposed to refuse the chocolates

for 10 school days,

and then accept them.

Those Vigils are really something, huh?

I'd hate to have them find out I told you.

Boys will be boys.

Poor Renault.

It's terrible to force a boy

into that kind of situation.

But it's almost over, then, isn't it?

The 10 days are up

tomorrow.

Well, I guess that's it, then, Caroni.

Sir, you said you wanted to discuss my mark.

Oh, yes, yes. That's right, Caroni.

That F of yours.

You said teachers sometimes make mistakes?

I'll tell you what, Caroni.

At the end of the term,

when the sale is over, I'll review that test.

Perhaps I'll be fresher then.

Perhaps I'll see merit I missed before.

On the other hand,

perhaps that F will stand.

It depends.

- Johnson?

- Two.

- McClosky?

- Four.

- Perkins?

- One.

And

Renault?

Renault?

Renault!

No, I'm not gonna sell the chocolates.

You know, you're missing

a lot of things, Jerry.

Hey, Renault.

You got guts, you know that?

Really.

Boy, you really,

really let that bastard Leon have it.

It was great. Great.

Sure.

You know, I'm so sick of selling

those f***ing chocolates.

I've been going to Trinity for three years.

I'm just...

I'm just tired of selling stuff, you know?

If it isn't chocolates,

it's Christmas cards.

If it isn't Christmas cards, it's soap.

But you know what?

What?

I never thought of just saying no.

You know, like you did.

Listen, I really got some studying to do.

Boy,

you're cool.

You know that.

- Hey.

- Jesus, Jerry, what did you do it for?

Do what?

You know what I mean. The chocolates.

I don't know, Goob. That's the truth.

I just don't know.

You know, you're asking for trouble.

What difference does it make?

It's not that simple.

Leon's not gonna let you get away...

Hey, Jerr. Nice going, man.

Look, what's more important?

Playing football, your grades

or a lousy chocolate sale?

Just do me a favor.

Take the chocolates today, all right?

- I can't.

- Why not?

I don't know. I just can't.

It's the goddamn Vigils, isn't it?

No, they're not in it anymore.

It's just me now.

What do you mean?

I mean that the assignment is over, Goober.

Now, it's just me.

It's just me.

It was at this point in history

that man first ventured from the caves

and began to deal with

an increasingly hostile environment.

The cue is the word 'environment.'

You guys are going to carry out

our 'environmental' campaign.

What if he doesn't use the word?

He'll use the word, all right.

I'm sure somebody, say our friend Obie,

will produce a question

that will, in turn, produce the word.

Won't you, Obie?

Why me?

Because you're a good boy,

aren't you, Obie?

What is this?

I am secretary of the...

What are you looking at?

I am secretary of the Vigils.

I'm not some dumb kid.

I mean, I stayed up all night helping

that Goober kid because you told me to.

Aren't you, Obie?

What happens when Jacques catches on?

When he realizes the word is 'environment'?

Well, then he stops using it.

You see, that's the whole point.

I am sick and tired of this 'environment' sh*t.

At least we'll have one teacher

who will cross it off their vocabulary list.

...and began to deal with

an increasingly hostile environment.

Increasingly.

Hostile.

Environment.

So, as he ventured further and further

into his new environment,

he found that he himself

had to adapt to his environment,

since that environment was now far more complex

than any he had before faced.

Thus, like modern man,

his environment,

and the environment around him,

shaped him as he had shaped his environment.

Well,

I hope you've all enjoyed

this lesson on the environment.

And

I will see you gentlemen tomorrow afternoon,

if you can still walk.

You tipped him off, didn't you?

Brian.

- Yes, Brother Leon.

- Sit, sit.

- The totals are bad.

- Bad?

Sales are down. Below last year's.

And last year,

the quota was half of this year.

Oh, Cochran.

Read off the names of the boys

who have reached their quota.

Meronia, 58.

LeBlanc, 52.

Caroni, 50.

Fontaine, 50.

Those are the only ones

who made their quotas, Brother Leon.

Read the others.

- All 400, sir?

- Yes.

Sullivan, 48.

McBride, 48.

Lombard, eight.

Cartier, three.

He only sold three

because he's been out of school.

Appendicitis. He's in the hospital.

Renault, zero.

Renault, zero.

Can you imagine that?

Do you know what's happened?

Do you know why sales have fallen off?

No, sir.

The boys have become infected, Cochran.

A terrible disease, difficult to cure.

Before a cure can be found,

the carrier must be discovered.

But, in this case, Cochran,

the cause is clear.

The carrier is known.

- I'm quitting the team, Jerry.

- What?

- Yeah, I'm quitting the team.

- God, are you crazy?

Let's run, huh? Come on.

Goob, are you serious?

- I've gotta quit.

- Why?

Why, Goob?

Well, did you hear what happened

to Brother Eugene?

He got transferred.

Well, I hear he's gone on sick leave.

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