The Cleanse Page #2

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WOMAN:
Did we reach

you at a bad time?

- No, no. This is a great time.

- [KNOCKING ON DOOR]

ZATIK:

Berger!

WOMAN:

Are you still there?

Rat.

Oh, thank you. Sorry.

WOMAN:
Are you sure

this is a good time?

Uh-huh.

WOMAN:

Well, we have good news.

You do? Okay.

WOMAN:
We'd love for you to join Mr.

Roberts.

Really?

WOMAN:
You have some

paperwork to sign,

and they'll have

someone pick you up tonight.

Okay.

WOMAN:

Great. Enjoy your retreat.

Okay, great.

[WRENCH THUDS]

Got him.

[]

"Death"?

[KNOCKS]

[KNUCKLES CRACKING]

[PARKING GEAR LOCKS]

Um, hi.

Are you with

the Roberts Institute?

[CLICKS, WHIRS]

[CAR BEEPING]

[GRUNTING]

- [CLICKS, WHIRS]

- Oh.

[]

[SNORING]

Hm?

Welcome.

How was the ride?

It was good.

[SNIFFS]

Hi, I'm-I'm

Paul Berger.

Hi, Paul Berger.

I'm Fredericks.

Hello, Fredericks.

[GROANS]

Let me get your bags.

Thank you.

Hey.

That's...

You got in too? That's...

...so crazy.

Yeah.

[FREDERICKS GRUNTING]

Oh! Oh, I'll get that.

Yeah. Heh.

[PANTING]

You packed a lot.

Jesus,

you're like a girl.

Phew.

Someone got you good

there, huh?

- Huh?

- The... You...

Oh, they sure did.

PAUL:

My uncle had a cat,

used to scratch him

like that.

They can get real ornery, huh?

You have a cat?

Yeah, I have a cat.

I'll show you where

orientation is on the map.

Follow me.

I'll get you guys

settled in, huh?

Let me take that

for you.

Oh, it's okay.

I got it.

- No, please. I insist.

- I... I got...

Could you put that

under my...?

- That's it.

- You okay?

Uh-huh.

[SIGHS]

Come on,

you guys.

So are-are you

an actress?

Yeah, I-I used to be.

[CHUCKLING]

Yeah.

Your photo here looks

like one of those headshots.

It's an old one.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Gotcha.

Boy, it's been a long time

since I've seen the water.

MAN:

Hey-o.

What's up, Jersey?

They picked him

off that dick-licker story?

Heh, heh.

- What's up, man? Hey.

- Hey.

So, uh, check this out.

She really wanted

to come here, right?

- And I'm... I'm trying to be a good dude...

- Sure.

[LAUGHING] but what the f***

was up with that contract?

Kind of freaked me

the f*** out.

[LAUGHING] Yeah, no, it did

that to me too, but...

[WOMAN SCREAMING]

[CONTINUES SCREAMING]

Come on, let it out.

What?

[YELLING]

Let it out, out, out!

[SCREAMING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

It feels good to get

that out, doesn't it?

Mmm. Thank you so much.

And welcome.

My name is Lily.

Now, I know you must be

starving from your trip

so let's get started

right away.

Fredericks is handing each

of you your own cleansing kit.

Each kit contains

four drinks,

which you must consume

by the end of the day.

Now, each of these drinks

is specifically

formulated for each of you,

so don't drink anyone else's

by mistake.

After you've completed

your four-course cleanse

you'll find additional

nutritional supplement

in your cabinets

for the rest of your stay.

No outside food.

It's prohibited.

Oh, whoa.

[COUGHS, SPITS]

That tastes

like an a**hole.

What? Baby, I thought

you said this is about

being open,

being honest, right?

Getting rid of all

the bad stuff, right?

Yes, it is, Eric.

And thank you

for your candor.

But you must know that

these drinks are very powerful,

and while they may seem

like a bitter pill to swallow,

I can assure you that

I completed the course myself.

And the anxiety

and sadness that I felt

was replaced by...

humility, a clear mind

and an open heart.

[SLURPING]

LILY:

Good. Good, Paul. Good.

[GROANING]

[GROANS]

F***.

Fredericks here has been

cleansing for some time too.

We're hoping he completes

the course with all of you.

And now,

without further ado...

a message

from Ken Roberts.

ROBERTS [ON RECORDING]:

Hello, everyone.

Congratulations on being

one of the chosen few

to take part in this retreat.

I'd also like

to say thank you.

It takes great courage

to do this.

[]

It is not easy

to put yourself out there.

To... To risk judgment.

It's one of the hardest,

but most important,

things that we can do.

We all have our baggage, folks.

It's part of being human.

And letting it go

can be scary.

And confusing.

And what makes it

so confusing is that,

over time, well, we've actually

come to depend on it.

It's become familiar to us.

Like a best friend

to get us through the day

or a stuffed animal that...

That keeps us cozy at night,

and we cling to it

because we don't know

any better.

Especially when we're scared.

Now, the cleansing process

here won't be easy.

But we are

extraordinarily proud

of the system

we've created,

and so excited to take part

in this next step with you.

But you'll need to find

that inner strength.

It's over to you now.

I know you all have it,

and I'm so looking forward

to meeting you all

in the next few days.

Let's get pure.

[COUGHING]

[EXHALES HEAVILY]

[KNUCKLES CRACKING]

Last one.

[SNIFFS]

[SIGHS]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[SIGHS]

[]

[DOOR CREAKS]

Stupid.

F***ing stupid. Stupid.

F***ing,

f***ing stupid.

Did I spook you, babe?

[SNICKERING]

Yeah.

Sorry.

[EMPTY BASKET RATTLES]

[SIGHS]

So Lily and Fredericks

are weird as hell, huh?

You sure you did your research

on this place?

Ken Roberts

has helped a lot of people.

And... couples.

Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

Okay, well, I-I-I still

don't understand why

we need help,

but, uh, okay.

[BASKET RATTLES]

[GROANS]

You finished

all of yours?

Yup.

Here.

What you do is...

You ready?

Grab your nose,

[NASALLY]

and pinch it,

and then take a sip,

and it should help.

[GAGS, SPITS]

[CHUCKLES]

[SPEAKING NORMALLY]

That was hot.

Shut up.

[GIGGLES]

Okay, so...

What is this thing?

What are...? What are we doing?

Are we supposed to...?

We do this, we leave here,

and we-we feel different, right?

We feel enlightened,

is that the deal?

Mm-hm.

I guess enlightenment

could be rad.

[METAL LID CLATTERING]

Want a nightcap?

Come on, don't...

Don't look at me like that.

You're acting like

I'm an alcoholic or some sh*t.

[PAUL COUGHING]

PAUL [GROANING]:

No.

[COUGHING AND GROANING

CONTINUE]

[GASPS]

Oh.

[VOMITING, COUGHING]

[]

[GROANS]

[SQUELCHING]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[STOMACH GROWLING]

[GROANS]

[SIGHS]

This is it?

[SIGHS]

Come on, Paul.

[GULPING]

[SIGHS]

[BUBBLING]

[SNIFFS]

[BUBBLING CONTINUES]

[OOZE DRIPPING]

LILY:

I know it's exhausting,

but you should take

great pride in the fact

that you've completed

your cleanse,

and that you're moving on

to the elimination process.

Right. Q-question. When you say

"elimination process," you...

You mean, like...

[IMITATES VOMITING]

Heh, heh, right? 'Cause

I was doing a lot of that

last night, and a lot coming out

the other end too.

LILY:

Yes, Eric.

That is part of

the elimination process.

And, of course, the next stage

will be termination,

and after that,

you're gonna feel wonderful.

Well, I already feel

good as hell, so, heh-heh-heh.

LILY:

That's interesting, Eric.

Most people feel worse

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