The Client List

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You got any room on that couch?

You got a naked girl coming right at you.

Bring it on.

Go on.

Go on.

Come here, you little monkey.

Will you please get her dressed?

Let's clean up before

Bama gets here.

I don't want her telling me

I'm a lousy housekeeper.

Oh, shoot. I gotta get ready.

We're supposed to be at the bank.

Why do you have

to go to the bank?

Because we need money

for stuff, like your braces.

But I don't want braces.

I want a video game player.

Charlie, your mama's gonna tell you

something true.

No matter what you choose to do or be,

life is easier if you're pretty.

It does a girl no good

to be good at video games.

Knock, knock. Hey, y'all.

Hi, Mama.

Hey, Bama.

Hey, Bama.

It's hotter than a fur coat

in Marfa out there.

Guess you're just gonna let them

watch TV all day.

Oh, Mama, please don't start.

I'm trying to get ready.

Hey, Mama, that laundry was folded.

It will be when I get through.

Hi, Bama.

Jenna. One, two. Whoo!

I'm so glad to see you.

Give Bama a great big kiss right there.

Look how big you're getting.

How's it going, Cassie?

Well, I'm a two-pack-a-dayer trying to

quit smoking, that's how it's going.

You know what gum

with nicotine tastes like?

Gum with nicotine.

How's the knee?

Oh, doesn't work

and keeps me up all night.

Sounds like my last two husbands.

Heh.

What are you gonna do

if the bank turns you down?

No idea.

Well, it ain't a sin to be poor,

but it's damned inconvenient.

Well, what do y'all think?

You're either a magician or twins.

Mama, you look pretty.

You sure do.

It's gonna be harder for the banker

to turn you down in that outfit.

That's what I'm counting on.

Like you said, 'Use it until you lose it.'

Heck, I've lost it

and I'm still using it.

What smells like pumpkin pie?

Oh, it's me.

These scientists did a test and

figured out that the smell of pumpkin

brings blood How to a man's you-know-what

faster than anything else.

Where'd you hear that?

I read it in some woman's magazine.

August 2006 issue.

Reese Witherspoon was on the cover.

Rex, come on, we gotta scoot.

Babies, be good to your Bama.

Bye, Mama.

Bye, Mama.

Owl Dang it.

I just broke my nail.

Sugar, no one's looking

at your nails.

Been married to you nine years,

I haven't gotten to your nails yet.

Come on.

Now, Sam, don't slouch like you do.

Knockers up.

I am so nervous.

Yeah, me too.

Let me unbutton these.

Just in case he's gay.

Well, I did say 'whatever it hikes.

Oh, baby, how did we get ourselves

into such an awful mess?

A lot of people asking

those questions these days.

Samantha Horton.

Hell's bells, I do not need Carol

Reed telling me how perfect her life is.

Hey, I dumped her for you.

You got the big prize.

Don't tell her

why we're here.

Hey, Carol. Hi.

It's been forever.

Don't you look pretty.

I do believe you were wearing that

same dress the last time I saw you.

Well, aren't you observant.

Jim and I were just here

on business,

but tomorrow we're off to Hawaii

and then we're going to New York

to do a little shopping.

We all got to stimulate

the economy, right?

Bless your heart,

always thinking of others.

Bye-bye.

Y'all travel safe.

Will do.

Bye.

Mrs. Horton, Mr. Horton,

please have a seat.

Thank you.

Well, we're here about,

uh, this letter.

Well, I'd say

it's a bit more than a letter.

This is a notice of intent

to foreclose.

Yes, and we know we're

seriously behind in our payments,

but the rates

suddenly jumped so high-

As adjustable rates do.

Mr. Sweeny, it's like I was trying

to tell you on the telephone,

my physical therapy job

just got phased out

and Rex here, well,

he hurt his knee so bad

that he had to quit his

construction job and get surgery.

We're just trying to pay back

the medical bills.

The heeling's been

e whole let slower than I'd hoped.

I sympathize, but mortgage payments

must be maintained-

It's not just about the mortgage.

We're strapped.

Completely.

Getting dinner on the table, it's hard.

We need more time.

But, Mrs. Horton,

I can't really give you-

You can call me Sam.

Sam.

That's an interesting scent

you're wearing.

You like it?

Very much.

But, uh, there's nothing I can do.

With the current financial situation,

this bank must hike a zero-tolerance

position on non-payment.

But what about the government

hailing you out to help us out?

Where's the help?

All I can tell you

is that unless we receive payment

on the 15th of this month,

foreclosure proceedings will begin.

And we'll lose our home.

Yes.

That is what foreclosure means.

I'm sorry.

No, you're not.

Not really.

Even though

you're plenty at fault here too.

The day we met you,

you told us that a subprime

ARM loan made good sense

and not to worry

about rate adjustments

because we would be able

to refinance before the loan resets.

Then you told us it would be

'advantageous

for us to enhance our income statement to

help facilitate the approving process.

Those were your words, exactly.

Now, I don't think any of us

remembers exactly what was said.

She does.

You were wearing a

black-and-gray coat,

with a taupe shirt

and a cream tie.

It had a quarter-sized

hot sauce shin on it.

You were worried because you were

getting ready to take your photo ID.

There's the tie

and there's the shin.

Now, what exactly

don't I remember, exactly?

Like I said.

At least you got a month's extension.

It's something.

Is it? What's gonna make it better

next month?

Chocolate milk shakes

and cheese fries.

That will make it better

for about five minutes, but I'll take it.

Here's my application.

I know you guys aren't hiring, but if you

could have the manager keep that on file?

Thanks.

You're really desperate, huh?

I would join the Army

if I could wear heels.

We'd hire you at the bar if we could.

I know you would.

There's nothing promising for Rex

Not a thing.

Nobody's even hiring.

If there were any construction jobs, they're

not gonna go for a guy with a bum knee.

Gosh, this must be killing him.

You know men and pride.

Men are complicated.

No, they're not. Men are easy.

I'm thirsty, I'm hungry, I'm horny.

That's men.

Although not necessarily

in that order.

You guys, I never thought I'd

say anything quite as sappy

as 'it was not supposed

to turn out this way, but it wasn't.

When they were scouting Rex for UT, I already

had the drapes picked out for the pool house.

You weren't crazy.

Handsome white running back

is worth his weight in gold.

I just thought we were gonna be the

next Angie Harmon and Jason Sehorn.

Then he got knocked down.

You got knocked up.

Yeah.

Hey, wait a minute.

Here's something.

'Kind Touch Health Spa.

Licensed massage therapists.

I'm licensed.

I don't know how you do that,

touching stranger's bodies.

It's just skin.

It makes them feel better.

Doesn't say they're hiring,

but it's worth a call.

It's all the way in Lareena.

It's more than an hour's drive.

Well, there's nothing here.

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