The Client List Page #2

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You were smart to go

and become a lawyer.

My mom said

I was too pretty for law school.

My mama said I was too skinny

to get a husband.

My mom said to always wear lipstick,

even if you're just going to the market.

Well, to Texas moms.

Texas moms.

Texas moms.

Your usual time, you little devil.

Okay, I've got to go now.

All right, bye-bye.

Hi, there. Can I help you?

Hi.

My name's Samantha Horton, and I called

about the massage therapy interview?

Oh, that's right.

Here's my resume.

Hi.

Hi there. Well, I'm Jacie.

Hello.

And this here is my partner, Doreen.

Good morning.

Gosh, you are a pretty little thing.

Thank you.

And I can spot a pageant smile.

What did you win?

I was Miss Bixby Hills.

Runner-up, Miss Piedmont.

I dropped my baton.

Well, I entered in Miss Texas,

but then I got pregnant and married.

Now I got three kids.

I'm dying to have babies.

You were smart to start young.

I'm trained in shiatsu,

and deep tissue,

but I can pretty much do any

kind of massage y'all want.

Well, look at you.

I'm a real fast learner,

and I'm just desperate for a job.

Can you start tomorrow?

Really? That's it?

Pretty much, baby.

Thank you.

Who's starving?

I could eat a buttered monkey.

Yay! Breakfast for supper.

Yeah, we're celebrating

Mama's new job.

So now I can play Hag football?

Flag football is way down on the list

of things we need to be paying for.

Please?

Brady, it's like $100 just to register.

Then there's the team photo and equipment.

And what if you break your glasses?

But-

Conversation is over.

Hey, hon,

I didn't hear your motorcycle.

That's because I sold it.

Rex, you loved that thing.

Yeah, I kind of like

having electricity too.

Baby, I know that wasn't easy.

Good riddance.

You know what doctors call them?

Donor-cycles.

Are we rich now?

No.

Hey, sweetheart, what's it

like at that Kind Touch Health Spa?

What's it like?

Oh, no, a bee.

Watch out, Brady,

they can smell your fear.

Hey. Mama.

It's all right, I got it.

You know what, it was real nice.

Rich clients, big tips.

Yeah?

Maybe I should ditch my job

at the salon

and come rub some backs

with you.

Unless they're mole-y or hairy.

Woman, you wax hoo-has.

Yeah, I remove the hair,

but I don't mess with it.

What's hoo-has?

Nothing.

Daddy, what is a hoo-ha?

Camptown ladies sing this song

Hoo-has, hoo-has

Camptown track is Eve miles long

Oh, hoo-he day

Hi. Here I am.

Oh, hey, honey. Welcome.

Why don't you come on back

and meet the other girls, okay?

We got a bit of a lull right now,

but when that Cowboys-Redskins game

is done, we are gonna be plenty busy.

Come on.

Okay.

All right.

Here we go.

Okay, ladies, say hi to Sam.

Hey, honey, welcome back.

Hi.

Okay, now, just real quick,

I started this business 15 years ago.

I wanted to be a novelist,

and I still do,

but this pays the bills

a whole lot better.

Doreen used to be a dancer.

Well, cruise ships mostly,

but some dinner theatre.

Now, she's been partners

with me for 10 years.

Isn't that right?

Yeah.

Tanya's been with us for-

Six.

Six, that's right, and she is also

an amazing tattoo artist.

Oh, and this here is Emma,

our barely-legal-looking newbie.

How long you been here, sweetie?

Uh, two months today.

So nice.

Hey, hon, you got a client in 4,

why don't you scoot on over.

All right.

Okay.

And you're all licensed

massage therapists?

Sure, yeah, we all have licenses,

and we all give massage.

It's a teensy bit more than that.

What do you mean?

Well, like my writing teacher

always says:

'Why don't you show me,

not tell me?'

Come on over here,

I'll show you.

Let me just

get these open here.

Hi, Richard.

This is one of those two-way jobs,

you know, like they have

in all the cop shows.

How are you doing?

Pretty good.

How are you?

I'm great.

Oh, I love that SVU.

I think Mariska Hargihy,

she's just darling.

And her mama is Jayne Mansfield,

so you know those breasts are real.

Now, for safety, we always bring

the first-time clients into this room.

It's above board, nobody does

anything they're not comfortable with.

You understand?

Wow.

You understand?

Yeah, I guess.

Okay.

What am I gonna do now?

I guess that's why they didn't

show me around the first day.

Wanted to ease me into it.

Guess I'll have to find something else,

or maybe Rex will get a job

or maybe that lottery ticket I've got in

my purse has three good numbers on it.

Hey, Dee, what's up?

It's Rex. You kind of need

to come pick him up.

He's in no condition to drive.

You know how it gets in here

when the Cowboys lose.

I'm on my way.

Dee, isn't it hard being

on your feet in your condition?

I'm used to it.

Heck, four kids in five years,

it feels weird when I'm not pregnant.

And it's good for business.

Behind the bar,

the big b*obs keep them here,

and at closing time she comes out

and the belly sends them home.

Ha, ha, ha. Fair enough.

Stupid.

Where is he?

He's cleaning up in the john.

We'll help him get into the truck.

Yeah, he's gonna need it.

I can walk, man, I can walk.

Dude, you can't walk.

Rex had a rough day, Sam.

And your mom took the kids, told

him to come blow off some steam.

Yeah, well, good idea, Mom.

Thank you, Phil.

Sure thing.

Take care of my boy.

So I heard you got a job.

That one in Lareena, right?

That's so awesome.

Yeah, I don't think

that's gonna work out.

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

Sometimes I wish

I could just start all over again.

Come on, this isn't you.

You're Samantha Dale Horton.

You're the prettiest girl

this town has ever seen,

and you always get

what you want.

Besides, I've spent too many years

being jealous of you

to feel sorry for you now.

You'll figure this out.

I am so sure of it.

I wish I was.

Hey, I love you.

Love you.

You call me tomorrow.

Okay.

Well, folks, if you moved to Texas...

Damn it, Rex, we're

almost out of gas.

We're looking at temperatures

in the 90s all week long,

possibly hitting triple digits

by the weekend.

Dang gas guzzler.

You look good.

Well, you sure don't.

What were you thinking?

Look, I spent all day standing

outside of Kyle's Lumber Lot

with the other day laborers

trying to pick up some odd job

that would pay enough for me

to sign up my son for flag football.

Rex.

Hon, the whole day,

I'm watching people we know

coming out of that store,

and I could see it on their faces.

'Look how far the football hero

has fallen.

I'm sorry.

I had a bad day too.

Stupid gas-guzzling piece of junk.

Declined.

Rex, where's your wallet?

It's, uh...

It's in my pocket.

A dollar?

Damn it, Rex,

this is not what I signed up for.

This is America.

A girl this pretty,

she's not supposed to be poor.

I'm sorry, I know that sounds

all braggy and unfair and awful,

but you know what? It's true.

You know what? Dee was right.

She was right. I am Sam Horton.

I am Sam Horton,

and I do not let life get me down.

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