The Closet

THE CLOSE:

Pignon's got a neat tie!

Specially for the photo?

Now, please.

Please!

Must I remind you:

this is a company photo!

So smile, look proud

to be part of this fine outfit!

The gentleman at bottom left.

With the red tie!

You're not in frame.

I only see your arm.

Move over!

That's fine.

Now I've lost

the guy on the right!

The zipper jacket's in now!

But I've lost the red tie!

Are we going to get this picture?

The red tie's still out!

We've wasted enough time!

Everyone look at me.

Were you drunk?

I've never had

a framing problem before!

I feel bad for the guy

in the red tie.

- Don't:
he's being fired.

- Really?

He doesn't know it yet,

but he's out.

Poor guy.

No, he's an idiot.

- Am I let go?

- Only him, in accounting.

- Does he know it?

- Not yet.

- Why's he being fired?

- Staff reduction.

That's lousy.

He's a good man,

I tried to keep him.

He's nice, but boring.

No, honest, dedicated.

Right, a real drag!

Morning Miss Bertrand,

Ariane...

Coffee, anyone?

No, thanks.

- Did you know?

- What?

That I've been fired.

Not really. I'd heard about

redundancy, nothing specific.

Poor guy.

Yes, it's no fun.

We're not in.

Leave us a message.

Christine, Frank?

Are you there?

- Pick it up!

- He wants you.

You're not in? Frank?

See, he wants you!

That's me?

You're out. I'II call Iater.

I can't now, I'm late.

I'm late, too.

No, call me at the office, Christine.

I've been fired. Next month, no job.

I found out

and wanted to talk to you.

But I'll find a job,

don't worry about your alimony.

See you later, big hug.

It's me, I got your message.

I'm not worried, you'II be OK.

Call tomorrow, I'm out tonight.

I'm not worried:

you'II bounce back.

What are you doing there?

Don't move.

Enjoy your meal.

I have go to jump out the window.

My wife said I'd bounce back.

We'll soon see.

Don't do it, you'll wreck my car.

I'm parked under your window.

You'll land on it.

It's an old, battered car.

But the roof's fine.

Don't be an idiot.

Give me back my cat!

Thanks... It's a silly animal.

Like my old car:
I'm fond of it.

I'm new, I moved in today.

Jean-Pierre Belone.

Let's toast it.

Come for a drink.

It isn't my car:

but how else could I stop you?

Nor my cat. But it made you

open your door. Want it?

Then I'll keep it.

Good night, take good care.

I won't leave

till I've heard your voice!

Silent people scare me.

Say one word and I'll leave.

Thanks.

Come have a drink. I'm lonely,

and no happier than you.

You wanted to die?

Dunno, I may not have the guts.

All because you got fired?

No, my whole life's a mess.

Tell me.

I won't bother you with it.

It's so dull.

Go on, there's nothing

on TV tonight.

My wife left me 2 years ago,

and I still love her.

My 17-year old son

has dropped me.

Now I've lost my job.

It was all I had. Fascinating, right?

Yes, it is dull.

At least you're frank.

I made you smile.

I found out from Santini,

in Personnel.

He's thrilled I got fired!

Why?

He never liked me. He's a jerk!

He broke my collarbone.

Made me try out for our rugby team.

You see me playing rugby?

No.

He flattened me, I got 3 weeks

sick leave. Very funny!

I liked that company,

I was there 20 years.

I won't bore you longer.

Maybe we can save your job.

Let me think...

Save my job? You're dreaming!

I'll think it over. But don't jump.

That's no solution.

...Of the 123 passengers,

none survived.

Bad weather has hampered

the rescue operation.

In Denmark, the ferry

that sank off the coast

is the worst disaster of the decade.

There 's talk of 400 casualties.

In Indonesia,

no news of the 23 tourists

kidnapped by guerillas.

An ominous silence!

The weather forecast is no better.

Hello.

Sorry about the mess.

I'm still moving in.

It's my books,

how will they all fit?

And the closet?

I'm coming.

We have to talk.

Meet me down in the caf.

I may have a solution.

I used to be

an industrial psychologist.

I know about corporate practices.

If you want to keep your job,

you must...

If I want to keep my job?

Come out of the closet.

What?

Come out of the closet,

admit you're gay.

But I'm not at all gay!

Who cares? If others believe it,

especially your boss.

These are recent,

before she left me, 2 years ago.

She's pretty. What does she do?

Translates. Majored in English,

now earns a bit.

But she needs my alimony.

When we met,

she was nursing a heartbreak.

I became her confidant: a dumb role.

She married me as coldly

as she left me.

She's so pretty...

And I'm hideous!

You're hardly cute.

You know how to cheer up a guy!

Flattery's a no-no for depressives.

You're an eyesore with no future,

and an idiot.

Feel better now?

I don't feel any worse.

My problem is my insignificance.

Here's my recurrent dream:

I'm being born, but I'm already here.

The doctor hasn't noticed

and tells my mom to keep pushing.

I wait in a corner for them

to realize I'm here.

The symbolism's pretty obvious.

- I'll get them back to you soon.

- What are they for?

Here.

- What's that?

- It's you.

With a friend.

We'll shuffle it up.

Digital magic!

Coming!

- Did I wake you?

- Never mind.

Did you mail that letter?

Yes, last night.

- Sh*t!

- What's wrong?

I thought it over.

Your strategy won't work.

Come in.

I can't fake being gay.

I'm no actor, I'll get exposed!

Cup of coffee? I could use one.

You're right. If you camp it up,

you'll be a flop.

You bet!

It's hard,

especially playing a flamer.

Most actors who try

are way off and vulgar.

So it won't work.

No. You'll pull it off

if you do nothing at all.

Just stay the shy, discreet

person they've known for years.

What'll change

is how they perceive you.

Suzanne!

That's Pignon!

Holy sh*t!

Francoise? Pignon, in accounting,

you'll never guess...

Wait, I'll send you a copy.

Robert? You sitting down?

Don't hang up.

Morning Martine, Suzanne.

Morning, sir.

How's the mail today?

I'll bring it right in, sir.

Well?

I want to know

who sent them, and why!

If only there was

an anonymous letter:

"Don't fire Pignon!

We'll tell the media

"you hate gays."

But just these photos...

We're not firing him

cause he's gay!

But people will say that's why!

I've got nothing against gays!

Damn that f*ggot!

What do we do?

Madame...

Gentlemen. Good morning!

Before we get down to business,

I want you to see these.

They're your sons.

Good looking boys!

No, the bareassed guy

is an accountant here.

Pass them around.

It's Pignon!

- Who took them?

- I don't know, but it's hateful.

How surprising!

Not to me.

I tried him out at rugby.

You can spot them at once!

Broke his collarbone!

Had to give up pantyhose!

This is no joke. We have to solve

the Pignon problem.

We did. He's being fired!

What do we make here, Santini?

Sorry?

- What kind of products?

- Products made of rubber.

What is our star item?

Con... Cond...?

...doms.

If we fire him, we'll have

every gay movement on our backs.

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