The Comedians Page #5
- APPROVED
- Year:
- 1967
- 150 min
- 180 Views
- My aunt doesn't enjoy safety as I do.
She threatens to melt down
the family silver to make bullets.
She says,
"Only silver bullets can kill a devil."
If I were a military man,
I would much prefer a Bren gun.
You wouldn't know
how to use one, Philipot.
Is it more difficult than learning to paint?
Perhaps he could take lessons
from Major Jones.
- Who is Major Jones?
- A guest of mine, in prison at the moment.
- Why?
- Ask Papa Doc.
A danger to the state perhaps.
He was a commando in Burma.
Apparently won the war single-handed,
like Errol Flynn.
You don't believe him?
Old soldiers are like fishermen.
They tend to exaggerate a little.
I'm a bit of a playactor myself.
Who isn't in this place?
We all play drawing-room comedies
in the blackout.
Well, you should have seen me
in my cocked hat and gold braid
when I proudly presented my credentials.
But then, of course,
perhaps even Papa Doc is playing a part
in those shabby black tails of his.
Oh no, he's real enough.
Horror is always real.
We shouldn't be ashamed
of being comedians.
You know, it's an honorable profession.
If only we were good ones,
we could perhaps give the world a,
I don't know, sense of style.
After all, there are times when we all
play a part, even in a good marriage.
Isn't that so, Dr. Magiot?
- Dr. Magiot, anyway, is no comedian.
- You never heard of a bedside manner?
Oh, Mr. Brown,
Angelito insists on meeting you.
He likes to meet all our new friends.
So naturally, he must meet Mr. Brown.
You will come, won't you?
I warn you,
I'm not very good with children.
Did the Tontons take your name
when you came in?
Yes.
I waited for you at the pharmacy.
You never came.
I had a patient.
I have news from the north.
Things are definitely moving there.
You're a novice, Henri.
You don't know one end of a gun
from the other.
And what have we got in the north?
Twelve untrained men
with a few 1914 rifles.
Castro had only twelve men.
You are not Castro,
and he had twelve trained men.
What was that about trained men?
We have so few trained men left in Haiti,
Your Excellency.
All our best doctors have fled abroad.
- But not you.
- I suppose I am too fond of Haiti.
Sometimes, when I see the necessity
for a very long and careful treatment,
the young become impatient.
Like your Angelito.
I'm so glad you're here in my home.
- Were you happy in Rio?
- Very. Why?
He told me you were.
The first two years of my marriage.
- You can't be jealous of the past.
- Oh, yes, I can.
One day, I'll be the past.
There'll be a difference.
You'll hardly be able to say
to the next man,
"I was very happy in Haiti."
Angelito, what were you doing out of bed?
I wanted a biscuit. I'm hungry.
But you just had your supper.
Anyway, I don't keep biscuits in that desk.
Who is this man?
This man is Mr. Brown.
He's come up to say good night to you.
- How are you? How are you feeling?
- I have a temperature of 39 degrees.
I sleep here with my mother
until the fever is gone.
This is my father's side of the bed.
Darling, I don't think Mr. Brown
wants to hear about that.
- Does Mr. Brown play cards?
- Not often. Why?
My mother used to play an awful lot
of gin rummy with her friends in the town.
- Does she play any longer?
- Not often now.
Darling, say good night to Mr. Brown.
Scoot down.
You took this out of my desk.
I wanted the stamp. It's American.
It's a new American.
I always have your stamps.
Not until you ask me.
- Lf I tell your father...
- You won't, will you? Please.
Good night, then.
Good night, Mr...
Mr. Brown. Mr. Brown.
Good night, old man.
Were you ever in America?
No.
- What did he mean by that?
- He's inquisitive, like all children.
- My letter.
- He wouldn't know who it's from.
Your husband would.
He would never read a letter of mine.
I trust Manuel.
I better keep it.
Who sleeps here?
Oh, that's the guest room,
except we have no guests.
What's the matter?
Darling, I just wanted to see you.
Sometimes you fling yourself at me
like a suicide onto the pavement.
Why are you so desperate?
I've been away for three months.
Since I came back, I've seen you twice,
once in a car
and once in a men's changing room.
My husband is downstairs.
Angelito is along the corridor.
Can't you please try to understand
how a family feels? Can't you?
No.
How many adventures have you had
in your life?
- Four.
- I'm the fourth?
I hadn't counted you as an adventure.
The boy downstairs, Henri Philipot,
was he one of your adventures?
Oh, you fool.
And how many have you had?
It probably runs into the three figures.
This is the last.
I don't want another adventure.
Nor do I.
Manuel guesses.
But he says nothing.
- Let me tell him.
- I can't hurt Angelito.
You won't.
Give him a king-sized box of puzzles
and some ginger snaps.
- You told me he liked ginger snaps.
- Why do you sneer at him?
He's my child.
And Manuel's.
I saw the boy in your bed.
I can imagine the two-backed beast
that went to his making.
Perhaps in time, when he's a little older,
we could... I could...
In 10 years time, he won't need you at all.
He'll be slinking off to Mere Catherine's,
except you won't be here.
You'll be in Luxembourg or Liechtenstein.
But they probably
have brothels there, too.
Well, then I could come to you.
No, a bit too late.
You'll be middle-aged, and I'll be too old.
Too old to care.
No real feelings, have you?
I'm just the result of a seven-year itch.
You've less feeling than one of the girls
at Mere Catherine's.
Why don't you go there, then?
You used to often enough.
All right, Frau Pineda.
I will.
Mr. Brown, the others have just left,
I'm afraid. Come and have a nightcap.
No, thank you,
I have a rendezvous to keep.
Now? In Port-au-Prince?
Be careful, Mr. Brown.
Good night, Your Excellency,
and thank you very much
for asking me for a drink.
Martha.
Martha.
They've all gone.
I should have said good night to them.
Oh, they knew
that you were occupied with Angelito.
I must go to him.
He won't sleep until I come.
He's asleep.
I hope that Mr. Brown liked our son.
I think so.
Angelito wasn't very friendly.
Are you tired?
Sometimes I don't think
I can go on as we are.
I know.
The climate and then
all the unpleasantness that's here,
I never thought
we'd have to stay here for three years,
but then I suppose nobody at home
is very keen to take over my place.
Perhaps I should retire.
We have many friends.
We can't desert them.
Well, but then you weren't made
to be a deserter,
were you?
Philipot.
Good evening, Mere Catherine.
The Tontons they are here.
All the girls taken?
No, but the girl you used to like is busy.
- Are they in a dangerous mood?
- I don't think so.
They accompany someone very important.
He's out with Marie Threse.
You take another girl?
Perhaps. Anyway, I'm very thirsty.
Come. Bring me a rum and Coca Cola.
You, come here.
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"The Comedians" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_comedians_5796>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In