The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes Page #2

I like your get-up-and-go.

I like the idea of a student

delegation coming to see me.

Makes me feel good...

up here.

- Bye.

- Thanks.

Goodbye. Goodbye, boys.

Good to see you.

Thanks a lot for giving us

your time, Mr. Arno.

Well, A.J. Arno never forgets

an old employee.

You just come back

any time, Lester.

Um, it's... it's Dexter.

Ah, yes, Dexter.

[Chuckles]

[Click]

O'Brien...

Ready with yesterday's

stuff?

Yeah, just about, sir.

- Well, run it.

- All right.

[Beeping]

Hey, they did pretty good

with the horses.

750 isn't bad.

That crap table figure

okay?

525. That's real good

for The Palace.

Looks like a real good day

for Applejack.

Yeah, real good.

Incidentally, don't send

that 20 grand to Medfield.

Don't? But you made

that pledge.

Don't you think...

Don't worry about it.

It's all taken care of.

Now, 102 goes right over there.

And, uh, 149

also over there.

146, right.

Okay. Right this way now,

Baxter.

Easy through the door,

you guys. Easy.

That's it.

Right in there.

Now, what do we have here?

Number 125.

Okay, boys,

right over there.

- Right.

- Let's go.

Easy now.

Take it easy.

What a slave driver.

Yeah, if he'd been in charge

of that Russian 5-year plan,

they'd have made it.

You know, it's

a great idea doing

something for the school,

but next time

let's do something easy,

like hijacking

a Cuban airliner.

Yeah.

Okay, boys,

now we need number 126.

Professor, can we just

take a few seconds off?

My back's killing me.

Oh, sure.

Take as much time as you want.

Uh, Dexter, there's a box of

tools in the back of my car.

Would you get that

for me, please?

Sure. Right away,

professor.

Good.

- Dean Higgins.

- Good morning, Dean.

- Good morning, Dean.

Hi, Deano.

Oh, hello, there,

Dean Higgins.

Nice of you to visit us.

Of course, we're not

really set up here yet,

but very soon.

Heh heh.

"Dear Dean Higgins,

first of all,

"I would like

to congratulate you

on your splendid

student delegation."

Well, that's wonderful.

I see.

[Clears throat]

Uh...

[Mumbling]

"And you will understand

"that since we have made

such a valuable donation,

"we must withhold our yearly

cash contribution.

Yours in the interest

of higher education,

A.J. Arno."

Well, this... this is

a dreadful mistake, sir.

You can say that again.

And I'm gonna tell you

this much, Quigley...

in the future, I'm gonna be

watching them.

But you can't blame

the boys, sir.

Why, i-it's Mr. Arno

who's acted in bad faith.

Oh, good faith, bad faith,

who cares?

They've cost this school

$20,000.

Well, not altogether,

Dean.

We still have

the computer.

Oh, shut up!

Higher education.

Hey, pretty great

about the computer, huh?

You know,

I don't like to brag,

but if it hadn't been

for the fact that I

used to work there...

Him I'm gonna watch

most of all.

Well, what's he gonna be

watching me for?

The elements of a computer

are input, memory, control,

arithmetic and logic,

and output.

And I think we can see,

demonstrated from these charts,

that man has done

a rather admirable job

of imitating the human brain.

And, uh, even though

it's an imitation,

in many ways,

the machine we've developed

can operate more efficiently

than we can ourselves.

Now, in the past

couple of weeks,

I've been, uh, working

on a small experiment,

uh, which is intended to show

how we can be replaced

by a computer.

Hey... this may be a way

of getting rid of Dean Higgins.

We live in hope, Dexter.

[Laughter]

[Clears throat]

Now, let's suppose

that your parents are going away

for the weekend,

and they leave you

the following instructions...

"If it's raining tomorrow

morning when you wake up,

"you are to close the windows,

"open the door

and let the cat in,

phone the grocer

and have him send

over the following list

of groceries."

All right?

Well, you wake up in the

morning, and it is raining.

And being the conscientious

and reliable young people

I know you to be,

you promptly forget to do it.

[Chuckles]

Now, well, actually,

I'm sure you would do it,

but let's see if a computer

could also do it.

[Beeping]

Now, this is a rain gauge,

and it's, uh, sitting on a roof

of a building.

Now, when the water falls

into this gauge,

it sends a signal to the logic

unit of the computer,

which immediately notifies

the memory bank of the computer

to seek out its instructions

for a rainy day.

The memory bank, in turn,

activates

the electronic circuits,

the window closes,

the door opens...

hopefully the cat comes in...

and the automatic telephone

goes into action, right?

Well, let's see.

[Beeping]

The rain... falls.

[Bangs]

Computerized male voice:

This is s recording.

Please deliver

the following groceries

to 445 Annex Street...

one pound of bacon,

two dozen eggs,

4 quarts of milk.

Hmm. Well, I...

that's enough of that.

[Light laughter]

Uh, thank you.

Thank you.

Well, so much for the speed

of the computer.

Now, another very

important feature

is its infallible memory.

Before this computer was owned

by the A.J. Arno Company,

it used to be employed

by the Space Research Center

at the Pacific Institute

of Technology.

And they were kind enough

to send us this magnetic tape,

which will call forth

from the computer

solutions to a series

of problems that would occur

on a simulated flight

to the planet Saturn.

Now, mind you,

it was 20 years ago

that this program

was operational.

20 years.

Well...

If you'll watch

the center panel, please.

[Beeping continues]

[Banging]

[Electricity crackling]

[Laughter]

Hey, Quig.

- Hey.

- [Applause]

Well, it [Sighs] seems like

our flight to Saturn

will be a little delayed.

Higgins:
[Clears throat]

Your attention, please.

This is Dean Higgins.

Now, the State General

Collegiate Classification tests

will be held tomorrow at 11:00.

Now, as many of you know,

we came in 36th last year.

And, now, I think

we could get out there

and improve upon that position.

[Chuckles] Thank you.

36th?

Gee.

You know, Dexter,

there are only 37 colleges

in the state.

Gee, I wonder

who we beat.

I don't know.

What happened,

professor?

Oh, it's a part in the logic

activator unit.

It, uh,

should be replaced,

but I can't get over to

Capital Electronics today.

Well, listen,

I'll get it for you.

Oh, I wouldn't expect

you to go all the way

over there, Dexter.

That's 70 miles away.

Oh, that's okay.

I've got nothing to do.

You have nothing to do?

Didn't you just hear?

That classification test

is coming up tomorrow.

Oh, yeah, but I know

all that stuff.

Cars and buses going

from place to place.

Car "A" goes 70 miles an hour.

Car "B" goes 60.

One guy stops for lunch

for 20 minutes.

And who gets

to Chicago first?

I got it all, prof.

Yes, I'm sure you do

have it all, Dexter,

but if I were you,

I would look it over

again this afternoon.

Aw, honest, professor.

It wouldn't do any good.

I'm up to here with it.

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