The Cookout Page #2

to buy a house.

He's gonna be able

to buy some new timbs.

He's gonna be able

to buy a Timex.

He's gonna be able to buy

an 8-track like mine.

He's gonna be able to buy

a thousand-pack Annihilators.

Yo, listen, listen.

I got an idea.

I heard that a pair

of Lebron James sneakers...

went for 3 g's on Ebay.

Alls we got to do...

is get a pair of

sneakers to Todd-

Forget that.

We're gonna take...

a bunch of sneakers

to Todd...

get him to sign them...

then we're gonna

put it on Ebay...

get phat money.

You understand what

I'm saying now?

Yeah. You think

he'll do it?

Do I think he'll do it?

He better do it...

unless he wants this

gat in his mouth.

You said...

You said gat or gut?

Come on, man.

I let my moms

hold it today, man.

Let's go.

That boy's gonna be

the next Michael Jordan.

That's right, Pop.

That's it!

If you had spent

a little more time...

working with your son

on his jump shot...

maybe he could have been

the next Michael Jordan.

Ma, come on. Relax, Ma.

I just want to be a doctor.

A doctor?

Boy, doctors

don't make no money...

unless they're on E.R.

OK, super.

Todd, I can get you

$5 million...

if you tattoo

a peacock logo...

to the back

of your head.

Damn.

I'm not tattooing

no peacock...

on the back

of my head, man.

Right, right.

That's a bad idea.

Nonetheless,

with the team contract...

and other potential

future endorsements...

you're gonna be in the 40

to $50 million neighborhood.

Is that gross or net?

Where did you come from?

Have we met?

Is she with us?

Anyway, you're gonna be able

to have more things...

than you have ever

dreamed of!

And you're gonna be able...

to give back

to the community...

and you're gonna be able

to help your parents...

just like we always

talked about.

I love this kid!

Mr...

Reilly.

Yes. Excuse me.

It's good to know

that even though Todd...

is getting

his $30 million contract...

he won't forget about

his family values.

That right?

Don't go changing

on us, baby.

I want you to be smart

with your money.

Come here. You got

something on your face.

Yeah, Mama can get rid

of any blemish.

Look, don't worry, Ma.

All I want to do is

take care of the family.

I won't change.

Hey, Jamal,

what up, baby?

Oh, sh...

Aw, man.

Choke!

Baby T got

his first ride.

You only got drafted

two days ago...

and you ran out

and bought that?

Come on.

With a DVD player

and a video game?

Man, get in the car, man.

What's wrong with you, man?

Let's get out of here, man.

My cuz in his

first ride, man.

What's up, boy?

Yo, what's up, cuz?

So I'm telling Todd,

I'm, like, listen.

You see this here?

This is no good.

This will never work.

See this...

This is no good for the shot,

no good for the shot.

What you got to do is...

you got to have them

like this.

You got to spread

your fingers...

so you get that good

rotation on the ball.

I taught him all that

right here on this court...

and look where it got him.

Ah, stop gaming.

You know Todd Andersen?

What do you think

I'm sitting here telling you?

I taught him

everything he knows...

right here on this court.

Todd learned from me-

Bling, baby.

Yo, Wheeze, tell them

how me and Todd go back...

like cornrows, man.

So, what's next, cuz?

You gonna get

a crib in Mount Claire?

Nah, I ain't

trying to do that.

I'm trying to stay here

with my peoples.

This is where I belong.

This is where they want me.

Break, break!

Yo, we got next.

Todd Andersen.

What's a rich boy like you

doing around here, man...

trying to play ball with

his hood brothers, man?

Come on. Whatever, man.

It ain't even like that.

I'm just trying to play

ball with my homeys.

We already got a team, baby.

Some real street ballers, baby.

Nah, nah. Let him play.

Let him play.

He thinks he's the man, trying

to come out here and show off.

Needs to be taught a lesson.

Yo, chill. Why y'all

tripping, man?

We're just trying

to play ball.

Y'all know me. I've been playing

ball here my whole life.

You know what?

I'm tripping, right?

Yo, "D" up, man.

$30 million man.

That's what

I'm talking about.

Let's do it, baby. Whatever.

Yo, get over there, man.

Look. Hey.

I need the sneaks.

Yo. Give me your sneakers.

I ain't giving you jack.

What did you say?

Give me your sneakers

right now.

And that goes for all y'all.

Run your sneaks right now.

All right, all right.

My plan's about

to take effect.

Get these sneakers.

Get that.

You got it? You got it?

You got that, Wheeze?

All right, remember

what I taught you now.

Spread your fingers.

You could be something.

Give it to them.

Let's go, boys.

I'm taking your bet!

Give it to him.

Give it to him.

Here, boy.

I know you got me.

I know you got me.

We'll take that.

Your money's good.

Let's go.

Let's go, boys.

What's good?

That's what

I'm talking about.

That's what I'm

talking about!

Play some "D."

I know you got me.

I'm talking.

Yo! Hold up!

Yo! What are you

doing, man?

You can't foul me

like that!

What, baby? What?

What?

Keep walking!

We're the real warriors!

You go play ball with

those pimpin' punks!

And leave your ghetto pass

on the way out!

I swear. I never

been no sucker, man.

So what, man? Let's go.

Yo, Todd Andersen.

My main man.

Holler at your boy.

It's Bling, baby.

Wait. Did he just hit me

with the head nod?

Yeah.

He didn't just hit me

with the head nod?

He straight dissed you.

I told y'all he didn't

know Todd Andersen.

Can we have

our sneakers back?

They're my sneakers now.

Get the sneakers, Wheeze.

Yeah. The sneakers.

Good evening, Madam.

A spot of tea?

Jojo!

What's wrong, baby?

Jojo, what's this white man

doing in my house?

Jeeves? Hey, he's

a gift from Todd.

And that's not all.

Come see.

What the hell?

And he got us

a large-screen TV...

with surround sound

and a picture in a picture.

Hey, I can watch

Sanford and Son...

and Todd play ball

at the same time.

What is that smell?

Neck bones

and collard greens...

per Mr. Andersen's request.

May I be of service

to you, Madam?

Madam?

You don't know me.

My name is Emma...

Lady Em,

or Mrs. Andersen, OK?

You just stay out

of my way.

And most importantly,

stay out of my kitchen!

I don't know about...

no neck bones

and collard greens.

As you wish,

Madam Lady Em.

God, this is insane.

And why is it

so cold in here?

Hey, our brand-new

industrial air conditioner.

Hey, Emma, we don't

have to ever stick...

to the plastic

on the furniture again.

Mr. Jojo, sir.

Whoa!

Neck bones and collard

greens are served.

Thank you, Jeeves.

Just find me

some hot sauce...

and I'll be with you

in a second.

Tabasco

or Red Rooster, sir?

Well, how about

a pinch of each?

Yes, sir.

Well... ha ha ha!

A pinch of each.

These are my flowers.

These are mine.

These are my flowers.

They're my flowers.

This is my house!

My house!

This is great.

I'll take it.

I'll take it.

I'll take it.

This is so exciting!

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