The Cookout Page #3

Your parents are gonna

love this house.

They're gonna be so happy

that you're finally moving out.

Yes! Whoo!

Yeah. I'm sure

my mom's gonna be ecstatic...

about me moving out.

Ha! There's my boy!

Up! Aah!

Damn, you got big.

Hey, look, thanks

for the Jacob, Big Pimpin'.

No problem, Dad.

And how are you, love?

Oh, I'm fine. How are you?

Did Todd tell you

about the house?

What house?

Oh. Well, Todd got, um...

us a house.

It's beautiful.

Jojo, this is

going too fast.

No, no, no.

Now, JoJo.

It's going too fast for me.

This is all going

too fast for me!

Baby, the boy is grown.

We knew this was

gonna happen.

And besides, you wouldn't want

one of them hoods out there...

taking a shot at him

out of jealousy, right?

Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Hey, hey.

Wait a minute. Wait here.

Come off him.

Go in there. Go in there.

I need to talk to you.

Ah... God.

I don't know, man.

Son, you need

to slow down.

What? You don't like

all the gifts?

That's not the point.

I'm concerned...

about how you're

spending your money.

Mama, I'm gonna be fine.

I just got off

the phone with Wes.

He said I'll be worth

more than $50 million...

when my contract goes through

and the season starts.

"When. "

Don't you mean "if"?

What if you break a leg?

You think it's gonna

be all good then?

And what's this girl...

talking about

"Bought us a house"?

That girl ain't your wife.

I don't think

she meant it like that.

Yeah. Well, what exactly

did she mean by "us"?

You planning on

marrying that girl?

I don't... I don't know.

It's all good.

We... we...

We just like...

We kickin' it, like...

Kickin' it.

What's "kickin' it" mean?

Your daddy and I have

been married 25 years.

We ain't never kicked it.

So, what you

want me to do, Ma?

You do what

you want to do.

You're a grown man.

I just wanted to go

on record saying...

that I don't like it.

Come on, Ma.

Mommy, you're still

my number-one lady.

That's never gonna change.

Don't come over here

with all that.

Ma, come on.

OK, look, look.

Let me make it up to you.

Why don't you decorate

my new house?

Come on. Please. Please.

Now, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

That's an idea.

OK. You know

what I'm saying?

Just do it

the way you do it.

You know how you do, Ma.

Come on, Ma.

I don't want that nasty girl

hanging around up there.

All right. Come here.

Ha ha. With your

big old self.

Ah, I love you, Mommy.

I love you, too, baby.

What did I tell you

about coming around here? Huh?

I told you,

don't come around here...

breaking the rules, right?

I mean, can't you read?

The sign says...

"No soliciting," OK?

Now, go and sell your cookies

somewhere else.

What is with these kids?

They push me. They push me.

Wait.

What you got?

Slim mints right there?

Let me get a box

of them slim mints.

All right. Go. Go on.

Get the hell out of here.

I don't want

to catch you around here...

till you come back

with some shortbreads.

Scourge of the nation.

Uh-uh. What?

Hey! Hey, wait!

Come back here!

Come back here!

Don't make me break the glass.

What is this, son-

a hotel or a house?

A house. A house.

But it has 7 bedrooms

and 10 bathrooms! Whoo!

10 bathrooms?

Why you need 10 bathrooms?

You only got one ass.

- Jojo.

- Sorry.

Todd, honey, you sure

this is the house for you?

I mean, maybe you need

to look a little longer...

find something a little closer

to your parents.

No, no, no. This is it.

This is right.

This is so right.

Come on.

Let's go inside.

Let's look

at it. Come on!

Hey, hey, hey!

What you got, champ?

Come on. Ow! Ow! OK.

Not the face.

Not the face.

Oh, my. Come on.

Come on, Guinevere.

Come on!

Ah! Ah!

Honey! Call Security!

I just saw some Negroes!

What did you say?

I said I just

saw a gang...

You know... yo!

Of Negroes

across the street.

Negroes?

Yes!

And I think they were

hurting a white man.

Good Lord. I'll call

Security at once.

Hold me, Holstead.

Hold me.

Security.

Hold me.

Oh, yes, Judge Crowley.

I understand completely.

I am on it.

I'm on it.

I'll take care of it.

Nope, don't worry about a thing.

All right.

Damn it.

Take care of my baby

first, though.

First got to take care

of my baby.

Ha ha ha!

Hey, this is nice!

Whoo! Damn.

This is big!

Whoo! Hey!

I know where we're gonna be

having our next cookout.

Jojo, come on now.

The boy just

moved in here.

Come on now.

It's cool, Ma.

This house is for all of us.

Having the cookout here

would be a great idea.

Matter of fact,

let's have it this Saturday.

Excu-excuse me.

Is that a purple diamond?

Oh. Why, yes, it is.

You guys like?

It's something that me

and Todd picked up.

Oh, you guys, look.

I have matching

earrings, too.

Oh, yeah. Yeah,

they're really nice.

Todd, come on.

We got to talk.

OK. Ma, look, you're

in charge, right?

Do your thing.

The tip from the Crowleys

was correct.

I have a visual

on the suspects.

What are you doing?

What do you mean,

what am I doing?

This house, the cars,

the jewelry, the Brittany.

You can't afford

any of this stuff.

Wes, Wes, Wes, Wes.

I just got

$30 million, man.

I'm rich!

It's $30 million...

but it's $30 million

spread over 6 years.

You haven't even gotten

a paycheck yet.

The season doesn't start

for another three months.

Hey, I am not fronting you

the cash for this stuff, OK?

Ha ha. Wes, why are

you bugging, man?

Let me enjoy the moment.

Enjoy the moment,

but return this crap.

Yeah. At least until...

I can officially lock in

some endorsements for you.

People just saw me

on national TV...

getting drafted

the other day.

Now they're supposed

to see me returning...

thousands of dollars'

worth of stuff...

like I smoked up

all my money?

I'm not a crackhead, Wes.

You need to get me some

endorsements or something.

All right, I'll get them...

but just hold off

for a while, OK?

I mean, just think

about it, please.

Yo! Who that?

Excuse me.

Can I help you?

OK, OK, OK, buddy.

Just remain calm.

Just calm down.

Subject is being

belligerent.

May have to subdue

with choke hold. Request backup.

Yo, what the hell?

Are you OK, sir?

Just blink once if yes.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Is he forcing you

to say that?

No.

I live here.

This is my house.

Yeah, right, you live here.

Negro, please.

Look, I got keys-

Hold it!

Don't! Don't!

I'll spray your ass.

Please don't spray his ass.

Lady, lady, this

is his house.

This is Todd Andersen...

New Jersey's

number-one pick.

I'll light his ass up.

Let me look at you.

Oh, that is you, huh?

Yeah.

You look younger in person.

How you doing?

Good. I'm good, actually.

Well, look here.

We don't play...

that ghetto nonsense

around here.

No chicken heads,

no hood rats...

no 40-ouncers...

no rims-on spinners...

and no loud music.

This ain't no Ludacris

video set.

And keep them ho's away.

You don't have

any chicken heads...

or ho's, do you?

Now you want to move

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