The Cookout Page #9

Now get your ass

up against the wall...

and sign them sneakers.

Hey, man.

What?

Look over there.

What's she trying...

What's she saying?

All right, Luscious.

I'll see you later.

Todd, are you in

some kind of trouble?

Pop, I don't even know

who these dudes are.

Does this sort of thing

occur frequently?

Oh, yeah. I've been

to many cookouts...

and let me tell you...

this kind of thing

happens all the time.

It's all part

of the festivities.

You might want

to hide the pearls.

I just want you to know

that Todd and his family...

are all law-abiding

citizens...

and I hope this doesn't

affect your decision...

on giving Todd

the campaign.

You might want to put

your hands back.

Hey, give me

the bat, old man.

Act scared.

It's kind of fun.

Get your hands off my wood!

This guy, he sort of

reminds me of someone.

In fact,

remember that guy...

we used to go

to school with...

the one they used to bug?

Percival ass... something.

Get your hands

off my wood, sucker!

Yeah.

Percival?

Percival Assmackey?

Shut up!

Stop laughing at me!

Shut the hell up!

Stop laughing at me!

You two, stop laughing!

Stop laughing at me!

All right. All right.

All right. All right.

Shut up!

And it's pronounced...

"Assmokee. "

It's West African!

Y'all think

this is real funny.

Why are we wasting

time with them?

I say we throw

these bums out...

and let's get to eating.

Come on!

Sit your asses down!

Unless you want me

to blow a hole...

in this $30 million

knee of yours.

No!

Brittany.

What the hell

is going on in here?

You're OK. Jamal is here.

Here you are, Sir.

Thank you.

Be careful, Jamal.

You don't know what

you're doing, sweetie.

Ma, yes, I do. I know

exactly what I'm doing.

Look, I've been trying

to tell you, I'm pre-med.

I'm going to medical

school next year.

Ooh, a doctor.

Did somebody say "doctor"?

Man, enough of this!

I'm sick of y'all!

Shut the hell up!

Wheeze, get on down here.

Get all the cash

and the jewelry.

Get these sneakers signed.

Let's get the hell out of here.

Ah! Freeze!

You don't want

none of this, boy.

That was some

great police work...

apprehending these two.

Thank you, officer.

Glad to be of service.

Yeah. You know what?

I like your attitude.

You seem way too qualified

to be a security guard.

Have you ever considered...

a career in

law enforcement?

All right, everybody!

Deejay Enuff!

Heavy Hitters!

We're about to take it

to the old school!

Let's go!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Here we go!

Miss Dee,

why don't you hit me...

with some

of those digits?

I like the way

you rock, Jeeves.

I'm feeling you. Uh! Uh!

Come on. Back it up.

Your family is a trip.

Yes, they are.

- Go, Todd!

- Go, Todd!

Can I talk to you

for a second?

Oh. Ho. Uh-oh.

You're in trouble.

What are you doing

dancing with that girl?

She's not even

cuter than I am.

Who? Becky?

She's my friend.

You hurt yourself

dancing with these people...

you're not gonna get paid...

for the time that

you spend recuperating.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

"These people"?

Yeah.

Let me tell you

something. I...

Brittany...

I want to see other people.

Is it something

that I said?

It's everything you say.

It's everything you do.

I need somebody I got

more in common with...

like, somebody

I can relate to...

somebody that can

relate to me.

I can relate to you.

I can relate to you.

I can be...

street, you know.

I can be like,

"Yo, yo, G. What's up?"

You know, I can ride

or dive... thing.

You have no idea...

what I'm talking

about, do you?

No. Please.

Please, baby.

I don't...

I don't want to work...

and I don't want

to pay bills.

I don't want to...

I want the diamonds.

Please, can I keep

the Mercedes...

and the diamonds? Please.

You can keep

the diamonds.

Leave the car keys

in the house...

after you get

your stuff...

and you get out.

Thanks.

Where's the doctor at?

Whoo-hoo!

Todd, we got it!

Yeah! When do we start?

Now.

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