The Cooler

Where's Bernie?

They're killing us.

We need him here right away.

Yeah!

Come on, baby.

Come on, come on!

Come on!

Seven out.

Oh, man!

Come to Papa--

Hey, what the hell? !

God damn it, that's supposed

to be an $800 jackpot.

Afternoon, Doris.

- Hey.

Got any cream?

- Sure.

Oh, sh*t.

- Oh, it doesn't matter.

Dewar's and--

F***!

Dewar's and water, please.

Hi, Natalie.

Hey...

- Bernie.

Sh*t, motherf***er!

Yeah, Bernie.

Yo, Doris, have you seen

Shelly around?

He promised to position me

at the tables tonight.

I've been on skid row all week.

You didn't settle up

with me last night.

No? You sure?

F***, I was way under.

It's been like an AA convention

around here.

I'll make it up to you tonight,

I promise.

Where have I

heard that before?

If I see Shelly, I'll tell him...

- Thanks.

...that you're looking for him.

Conway, party of 11.

Please check your reservation

in the Paradise Lounge.

Hey, Bernie,

Shelly needs you on 11.

All right.

Let's do the Chivas Regal.

And have that--

have Natalie bring it over,

the one working

the nickel slots...

by the Paradise.

I spoke to Shelly earlier.

He wants her out on the tables.

All right.

I'll take care of it.

Great shot.

How about that?

Hi. It's you, right?

Yeah, over here.

Joe said

I should stick around.

You say something

to Shelly?

Um-hmm.

Wow, that was fast.

Thanks.

Don't mention it.

It's over here.

I'll win you a fortune

on five and nine.

Did you order

the Chivas Regal?

Hey, back off, will you, pal?

Can't you see I got a roll here?

Seven out, line away.

- That motherf***er.

Thanks for the bet, folks.

- Yeah, yeah, I'm coming.

Oh! Shoot!

Better luck next time.

Ah-hh.

Shelly, they're here.

- Relax, Shorty.

Hey. Nicky, you didn't tell me

you were coming.

I'm having a manicure here.

You think I don't wash up

after going to the john, huh?

Forget about it. You look like

a million bucks. How are you?

You should have called ahead.

I would have sent the car.

No, we figured

we'd surprise you.

Anytime, Nicky, anytime.

I know that, partner.

Shelly, let me

introduce you to our...

brightest VP here.

This is Larry Sokolov.

His numbers guy,

Marty Goldfarb.

How do you do, Shelly?

Can I get you

something to drink?

I'd love a vodka tonic,

thanks.

...comes out of the

confessional and she...

says, 'Move over,

I have to gargle.'

So Nicky,

what brings you to town?

Shelly, I've got

a smart kid here.

He's got some good ideas...

about how to revitalize

the Shangri-La.

Revitalize? What are

you talking about?

We did $35 million last year.

Nicky:
Why don't you

just hear the kid out, huh?

Shelly, I want you to

know that I have...

nothing but the utmost

respect for you.

You've done a

tremendous job with...

the Shangri-La over

the last 16 years.

I don't think anybody

can dispute that.

Nicky:

Yeah, nobody doubts

that, Shell.

But the business has changed.

Just take a look at the Strip,

you'll see what

I'm talking about.

What?

You mean that Disneyland

mookfest out there? Huh?

Come on, you know

what that is?

Huh? That's a f***ing violation

is what that is.

It's something that used

to be beautiful.

It used to have class,

like a gorgeous

high-priced hooker...

with an exclusive clientele.

Then along comes

that Steve Wynn cocksucker...

and knocks her up

and puts her...

in a f***ing family way.

Now, she's nothing

but a cheap fat whore...

hiding behind

too much make-up.

I look at her and see

her stretch marks.

It makes me want

to cry, because

I remember the way

she used to be.

Am I right?

There's no arguing

the bottom line.

Those places are raking it in...

and the Shangri-La

as she is now...

can't compete with that.

You think I'm trying

to compete with that?

You think that's

what we're about,

trying to bring in

the stroller crowd,

fresh off some 'E-ticket'

ride, trying...

to break the house

on red and black?

Fremont has never been

about that bullshit.

This is where old time

and real money come to play.

The numbers don't

back you up...

on that, Shelly.

Don't get me wrong.

Nostalgia is great

and we love nostalgia...

...but nostalgia

belongs in a museum.

I think it comes a

time to decide...

whether you're

running a museum...

or you're running a casino.

Bernie.

'Mr. Cool.'

You got a minute?

I was just heading over to 14.

- It can wait.

How's the knee?

I met this orthopedic surgeon...

at Vegas Memorial.

He tells me...

they can rebuild a man's

entire kneecap out of titanium.

Oh, of course it costs

a shitload of money,

but seeing as this

gentleman is into us...

for 500 large, I thought maybe--

I told you, I'm not

gonna be here...

after Sunday.

Where are you gonna go,

Bernie?

Where the f*** are

you gonna go...

that's better than here?

I've got you covered

in this town.

People know you work for me.

That's currency

in your pocket.

That's f***ing respect,

when you walk the floor.

Where are you gonna get that,

anyplace else?

Seven days, Shelly...

I'm out from under.

Excuse me, sweetheart.

What's your name,

darling? Never mind.

This is who I am.

Yeah, that's right. I

like to know who's...

shopping it around

in my neighborhood,

so what you do is

be in my office...

first thing tomorrow morning,

if you want to continue...

to work here at

the Shangri-La...

and you and I will go over

the rules together.

I also want you to

bring me a clean...

bill of health.

All right, my dear?

Okay.

- All right, thank you.

How'd you like

to 'birdie' that hole, huh?

Say the word and

she's yours anytime.

I'll keep a running tab for you.

Nah.

What? What? She's

not your type?

Are you kidding me?

I've got to go.

Things are heating up on 14.

Let's do it in the room.

Kim, I think we got our laundry...

mixed up. I-- I'll

talk to you later.

Come on, let's go back

to the room.

$50 bucks only gets

you 20 minutes, man.

You're wasting your time.

Your soul is crippled.

I'm gonna change that.

Pray with me now.

Out, demon!

Let the crutches go!

Let the spirit into you!

Run with me!

F*** me harder!

Harder! Oh!

Oh, yeah, baby.

I like that. Come on.

Come on, come on.

You're so big!

You do? Hallelujah!

The Lord has shown

his face once again.

You gonna come all over me?

Oh, yeah, come all over me.

Let's do this, man.

Eight, the hard way.

$900 for Mr. Pinkerton.

- Seven and Seven.

Thanks, doll face.

- Jesus Christ!

Sh*t, I'm sorry.

- Don't worry about it.

I'm so sorry.

I'm such a f***ing klutz.

No, this stuff happens.

- Oh, my God.

I'm sorry. This guy--

f***ing hands all over my ass.

You might want

to stick around.

I came to play.

Come again, sister,

in the name of Pinkie.

Take this.

Hard eight, huh?

How you like that?

Suck on that.

That's right. Give

me them dice.

Damn right.

One dollar,

hard eight.

All right, everybody,

get in. Here we go.

We'll bet $10.

Out! Seven out.

- Sh*t! God!

What the f*** are you

smiling at, b*tch?

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