The Counselor Page #3

---

killed in Juarez last year?

No. A lot.

Yeah. I think

3,000 is a lot.

This is a different species,

Counselor.

They will rip out your liver

and feed it to your dog.

I should keep

that in mind, too.

I can't advise you, Counselor.

But you are advising me.

I just need you to be sure

that you're locked in.

Because I don't know...

Maybe I should tell you what Mickey

Rourke told what's-his-face.

That's my recommendation anyway, Counselor.

Don't do it.

"This arson is

a serious crime."

Yeah. And so is this.

I guess I'm

a little taken aback at

the cautionary nature

of this conversation.

Good word, "cautionary."

In Scots law, it

defines an instrument

in which one person stands

as surety for another.

As surety.

Yes.

Sounds a bit primitive.

It is.

The problem being, of course

is what happens when the surety

becomes the more attractive holding?

What about you?

I can vanish in a heartbeat

with my money. Can you?

Truth is, Counselor, I can walk

away from all of this in a second.

And I mean all of it.

You're not gonna believe this,

but I'm going to tell you anyway.

I think about my life.

I can live in a monastery.

Scrub the steps, clean the pots,

try some gardening.

You're serious.

Very.

Why don't you?

In a word? Women.

I've seen it all, Counselor.

It's all sh*t.

It's all sh*t.

I'll be in touch.

Hey, Counselor?

You want to know why Jesus

wasn't born in Mexico?

No, why?

Couldn't find three

wise men or a virgin.

And, Counselor,

here's something else to consider.

The beheadings and the mutilations?

That's just business.

You gotta keep up appearances.

It's not like there's some

smoldering rage at the bottom of it.

Let's see if we can guess who

it is they really want to kill.

I don't know. Who?

You, Counselor.

You.

What?

Yeah? Well, too bad.

Hey.

Did you bring cigarettes?

They treating you well?

Oh, yeah. Peachy.

You've got a preliminary

hearing on the 17th.

What size dress do you wear?

I wear a five.

What about shoes?

Five?

Yeah.

Hat?

What?

What size hat?

A hat?

I don't know what size hat.

What the f*** do

I need a hat for?

A hat? You're shitting me.

Yes.

You're a smartass.

You had me going

there for a minute.

So, you gonna get me

something sexy to wear?

No.

You'll probably have me looking

like a f***ing schoolmarm.

How about a businesswoman?

Yeah. Some business.

All right.

What was it you

wanted to tell me?

My kid is in jail.

Oh, boy.

Where?

Fort Hancock.

What was he doing

in Fort Hancock?

He was coming to see me.

What's he in jail for?

Speeding.

Speeding?

Yeah.

Son of a b*tch.

What, he couldn't pay the fine?

He had $12,000 on him,

but they took that off him.

How did you find this out?

He called.

What else is he charged with?

I don't know.

Some other stuff.

And how fast was he going?

Yeah.

What is that, "206"?

That's not a speed.

That's somebody's weight,

or a time of day.

You're telling me he was going

206 miles an hour? In what?

On that Jap bike of his.

Listen, if you could

get his money back,

he could pay the fine

and get out of there.

He's not getting

his money back.

How much is the fine?

$400.

Jesus.

I don't guess you

would spring for it.

Christ, $400?

Yeah.

All right.

"All right" what?

All right, I'll get him out.

Thanks. I owe you.

Yes, you do.

How about a blowj*b?

You would still owe me $380.

Damn, but you are a smartass.

I know.

You bring it out in me.

Lighten up, Ruthie.

Don't call me that.

I hate that name.

I don't even like "Ruth."

Take care, Ruth.

Guard.

Pull over.

How are you doing?

Ugh.

Get this thing out of here.

You got it.

Go.

Ah!

Sorry. I got held up.

How are you, man?

You see a place like this in the cold

light of day, it looks pretty seedy.

But you get the right

lighting in here

and some music,

some good-looking girls,

and it's a whole other world.

Jesus.

We're looking

for cash flow here.

So, how soon do you think?

Two weeks. Three, max.

Yeah.

Are you gonna

keep the dance floor?

Yeah.

A dance floor takes up a lot of space

but you try and chat up

a girl at a bar,

she's supposed to

tell you to f*** off.

She doesn't want to

look like a b*tch.

But, you ask a chick to dance,

well, you got a better shot.

Anyway,

the other big space-eater is the bandstand.

I think what I'm gonna do

is take the wall out

and get rid of

the hallway, yeah.

I think that will do it.

Yeah. All right.

I'll talk to my guy and it

should take two or three days.

That's my boy.

There he is.

I won't be able to get what the

kid is saying. Is that okay?

We don't care what

the kid is saying.

Did you get it?

Yeah. It's not much.

That's okay.

- Keep your eye on him.

- I am.

This guy doesn't read

the f***ing newspapers.

I know.

Could you see what it was?

Nope. But it's in the helmet.

Yeah.

It's in the helmet.

Yes?

We got him.

Good. Stay with him,

and call me back in an hour.

Come here.

Well, Counselor,

how are you making it?

I'm all right.

Is this your lady?

It is.

Nice to meet you, ma'am.

Me and the Counselor

go back a ways.

We do, I'm afraid.

Don't be afraid.

Hell, I'm okay with everything.

Are you okay with everything,

Counselor?

I am if you are.

See, now, ain't he just

the best son of a b*tch?

All right, Tony, let's go.

How long have you known this guy,

petunia?

Long enough.

Maybe you should listen

to your lady friend.

Is that what you do, Counselor?

Pretty much.

Does he keep you entertained?

None of your business.

Because you look to me

like you might get bored easy.

Tony, let's go.

Tony, I'm leaving.

Hell, Counselor,

keep your seat.

You don't have

to get up for me.

See, petunia, the Counselor has a

way of sullin' up like a possum

when he don't get his own way.

I'm going to say

you probably noticed it.

But that ain't

really the problem.

The real problem is

his thin skin makes

it okay in his eyes

for you to wind

up under the bus.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Anyhow, that's how I see it.

You take care now, you hear?

Baby!

Who was that?

It's an old client.

It goes with the territory.

I'm sorry.

Hi.

"Hi"?

Oh, um...

Bless me,

Father, for I have sinned.

And?

How long has it been

since your last confession?

Well, I've never been before.

This is my first.

Are you Catholic?

No.

Then I cannot

give you absolution.

I know

but I just wanted to tell

somebody what I had done

and I thought,

"Why not go to a professional?"

Have you thought about

taking instructions?

That's not

something I do very well.

I mean, in order to

become a Catholic.

Then you could confess

and you will be

forgiven for your sins.

What if they're unforgivable?

Nothing is unforgivable.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I haven't killed anybody,

but I've been pretty bad.

Look, we have people here

waiting to go to confession

so, I'm sorry.

They can wait.

I did.

Who did you talk to about this?

Why did I talk to somebody?

You said "Bless me, Father."

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes