The Court Jester Page #6

What have you

in the basket?

Eh beh basket? Oh,

b- sire, it's nothing, sire.

Merely a jester's

bag of tricks, sire.

It's a secret, sire.

Y-yes, a deep,

dark secret - beh -

which has never before been

revealed to anybody in the world, sire.

But I...

I am prepared

to make a statement.

I was a lad, I was gloomy and sad as

I was from the day I was born!

When other babes giggled and gurgled

and wiggled I proudly was loudly forlorn!

My friends and my family looked at me

clammily, thought there was something amiss!

When others found various antics

hilarious, all I could manage was this!

or this!

or this!

or this!

My father, he shouted

He needs to be clouted.

His teeth on a

wreath I'll hand him!

My mother she cried as

she rushed to my side.

You're a brute! and you

don't understand him!

So they sent for a witch

with a terrible twitch

to ask how my

future impressed her.

She took one look

at me and cried he...

hee hee hee.. he?

What else could he

be but a jester?

A jester? A jester?

A funny idear a jester!

No butcher, no baker,

no candlestick maker

and me with the look of a fine

undertaker impressed her...

as a jester?

But where could I learn any comical

turn that was not in a book on the shelf?

No teacher to take me to mold me

and make me a merry mad fool or an elf!

But I'm proud to recall that in no

time at all with no other recourses

but my own resources with firm

application and determination...

I made a fool of myself!

I found a bow and arrow

and I learned to shoot.

I found a little horn

and I learned to too.

Now I can shoot and

too, ain't I cute?

(no end of song)

Tend to your duties!

Serve your drinks!

Hold it with that basket.

Let's have a look!

A toast! A toast!

A toast to his most

royal highness!

To Roderick the first, for all that he

has done for this great England of ours,

may providence provide

a true and just reward!

To the king!

Brockhurst!

Brilliant.

Finsdale!

Magnificent!

Pertwee!

Fantastic!

Brockhurst, Finsdale, Pertwee...

They are all dead, sire!

As you said, flowers

for the widows.

Dead. Murdered.

And by whose hand?

And who may be next?

Sir Griswold of Mackalwane

is approaching the castle!

And just in time. He comes

not a moment too soon.

Bid Sir Griswold enter!

Plan two.

Plan two?

Plan two.

Get those bodies out of here!

Quick, take him to safety.

...And get those goblets away.

And... no! Not you, jester, not you.

Come here, come here,

boy, come here.

Sir Griswold of Mackalwane!

Approach, Sir Griswold.

Lighten the mood,

jester, a note of...

My liege lord.

Sir Griswold of Mackalwane,

I bid thee welcome.

Ehh, a-welcome, Sir Griswold,

your beard is full of hair,

but do I say welcome

or do I say mehh!

Sire. My emissary did report.

And I proudly

accept your terms.

Eh... th-the terms! the terms!

He doth accept the terms.

He looks not smart, but in...

Excellent, excellent!

Members of the court,

know you that the crown would

make a most felicitous announcement,

concerning the defense and

security of our great kingdom,

I would have you know that

today was an alliance consummated,

between the crown and our

honored and valiant Baron,

Sir Griswold of Mackalwane.

Uh, the terms! the terms!

We've already had the terms.

Sorry.

To cement this alliance,

I have decreed a royal marriage,

between Sir Griswold of Mackalwane,

and Gwendolyn the Fair.

Eh, eh rejoice! rejoice!

Although his brain is brief,

for when the larder's empty,

she'll have her ton of beef!

Would you like to try

the other side, sire?

Thank you, sire.

What say our gallant Griswold?

Sire. Princess fair.

From this moment on,

this hand, this steel, this heart,

will exist for naught

but the love of the lady...

Save your breath, Griswold!

There will be no alliance and no marriage.

What's that?

I cannot marry Griswold,

father. I love another.

Another?

Another, another...

What is this nonsense?

What do you mean you love another?

Simply that, father. A miracle has

occurred to fulfill my every dream.

I have found my love,

father. My true love.

Who is this man?

One to whom I have given

my heart and my hand.

He who even now wears my silken

handkerchief next to his heart.

What's that?

- What's that?

Ah.. Her heart, her hand,

she holds for joy or grief,

but he who holds her hand

holds her heart kerchief.

eh handkerchief,

eh hand kerheart,

heart ke he

che ha- hah,

Who is this man? His name!

The man I love is a simple

man, but noble of heart.

My beloved Giacomo!

- What?!

Uh. His name, his name,

and now his blood must flow.

Light up the oil, this man must boil,

this man named Giaco- mo? oh! No!

Seize this wretch and search him!

Eh... I- I'm- Th-th-this

is a little mistake, sire.

I don't have her heartkerchief,

uh, handkerheart. I don't have th..

A handkerchief!

G! Gwendolyn!

Uh, n-n-no, sire.

Geh-Gee G-G-Giacomo!

Shield me not, sweet Giacomo!

Our love makes me strong.

Love for a common jester.

Take the swine out and hang him!

Harm one hair of that majestic head and

I throw myself from the highest turret!

Enough of this!

How much insult must

I endure? Come, men.

Hold, Sir Griswold, your

honor will be avenged.

How?

Were that wretch of noble rank,

I would challenge him to combat mortal!

But I would not deign to soil my

blade with his miserable common blood!

H-he's right, you know, sire.

Rules of chivalry, you know.

Rules of chivalry be

hanged! And so will you.

She'll jump...!

Come, men.

Hold, Sir Griswold. You will stay

until the morrow. It is my command.

'till the morrow, sire.

- You, Gwendolyn, to your chambers.

Be brave, sweet Giacomo.

Throw this blackguard in chains!

Is he not fabulous?

Go from plan one to plan

two without a moment's pause.

The man is pure genius.

Sir Griswold will never

tolerate this insult.

M'lords, to your chambers.

Ponder this problem.

A solution must be found ere

we meet in council, tomorrow.

Sire.

Welcome, Sir Burton!

You saw the jester's performance?

When I sent you to

negotiate for Giacomo,

I never expected results

like this! Was he not brilliant?

Indeed.

With one slight discrepancy.

This man is not Giacomo!

What?!

I know not this pretender,

but I assure you

he is not the Giacomo I met

and negotiated with in Europe!

I tell you I've seen this man

before, and somehow that maid!

Did I tell you?

What plan now?

To my chambers, immediately!

But if he's not Giacomo, who could

he be, and what does he want?

Why would he do

our every bidding?

Why would he work to

destroy the alliance?

Why would he murder

with the cunning of a fox?

A fox.

But of course, a fox!

A Black Fox!

But you don't think that...

Why not? Who else

would oppose Griswold

and want the alliance destroyed

but that rabble in the forest?

The forest. That's

where I saw him.

Dressed as an old man,

riding out of the forest,

with the very wench who

sat beside the king, tonight!

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