The Crook Page #3

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Here, I'll give you a hand.

- Have you been here very long?

- About two hours.

Okay, we've got

more important things to do.

Here, Charlie.

If you pet him, you'll have a friend.

This is the mike.

You speak directly into it.

Not this way or this way.

Straight into it, and not too loud.

On the left, you've got applause,

on the right, music.

First button, applause.

Mix the two.

The timer will automatically connect you.

You've got from 10:00 till 10:05, precisely.

Your watch?

Haven't you got a watch?

Here, the text to be read.

You have five minutes.

- To say all that?

- To say all that.

I tried it. That's all it takes.

Hello, Longchamp 45-85?

Yes.

Good evening to you.

Your number is Longchamp 45-85?

Yes.

Hold the line, please,

we've got a wonderful surprise for you.

Well, madam,

if your number is Longchamp 45-85...

Yes, that's my number.

- And if you're married...

- Yes, I'm married.

- And if you have children...

- I have a child.

You have a son, fine.

You're the winning family in our contest

on Europe Number One:

"A Date with Lady Luck."

- What is she talking about?

- How do I know?

- Hello?

- Hello.

Now as quickly as possible,

a very brief explanation.

We are broadcasting

from the Olympia Music Hall in Paris...

with the star of tonight's show,

Sacha Distel.

Sacha Distel, yes.

Your number, Longchamp 45-85...

was chosen in tonight's drawing.

And thanks to Lady Luck,

you and your husband...

have won a new Simca station wagon.

And for your son we have a superb

mini Matra sports car junior.

Oh, it's marvelous!

Hello?

Hello, miss?

There's just one more thing.

You have a half-hour to bring your family

to the Olympia Music Hall...

and pick up your gifts, courtesy of Simca.

- There must be a catch.

- Hello?

In two minutes, we'll present

the Sacha Distel Show, lasting for one hour.

You absolutely must not miss

the last half-hour of the show...

because you'll be asked a question

about this last half-hour.

And finally, will you bring

a recent phone bill...

to prove your number is

really Longchamp 45-85?

And you must come to

the Olympia in a Simca taxi.

You'll take a Simca taxi, right?

We'll never find a Simca cab.

A gentleman will meet you there

and give you your tickets.

You'll be ushered to your seats...

where you'll wait for the grand finale.

Give your son the telephone bill

that proves you're really Longchamp 45-85.

After the show is over,

your son will go on stage...

and collect his Matra junior from Lady Luck.

- Hello?

- Yes?

Hello? What about us?

Just one last reminder,

you have one half-hour...

to get to the Olympia Music Hall

by Simca taxi.

Are you serious?

The audience here at the Olympia

would love to hear you scream:

"Thank you, Simca."

- Thank you, Simca.

- Thank you.

Is your son there?

How about him saying, "Thank you, Simca"?

Oh, yes, he's right here.

Daniel, come here, quick.

Hurry!

Hold on just a second,

he's coming to the phone.

Loud and clear. Say, "Thank you, Simca."

Fantastic.

Now may I ask if your husband's there?

Thank you, Simca.

Well done. What a fabulous family.

I'm delighted you're the ones

Lady Luck has chosen.

May we hear all three together?

Thank you, Simca!

Wonderful, madam.

Hurry. If you have a transistor,

you won't miss a minute...

of Sacha Distel's show,

live on Europe One...

until your arrival at the Olympia.

Always tune in to Europe Number One.

Goodbye, madam.

Are we going or not?

I hope this whole thing isn't a joke.

You never think it will happen to you.

- Got the bill?

- I've got two.

I'll run down to the cabstand.

You wait until I come and get you.

He's not bad.

- Yes.

- I can't hear him.

Can't hear him? Here.

Oh, the good life

Taxi. Charles!

- The Olympia Music Hall.

- I'm sorry, lady, I'm off duty.

Please, you've got to help us.

- You are driving a Simca?

- Last time I looked, yeah.

What a break.

- The Olympia.

- I've already been told.

The good life

Full of fun, seems to be the ideal

Yes, the good life

Lets you hide all the sadness

you feel

Please remember I still love you

And in case you didn't know

Well, just wake up

Kiss the good life hello

- Are you Longchamp 45-85?

- Yes.

- Here, I'll take care of it.

- Thank you.

I work in the public relations

department at Simca.

Here, thank you, keep the change.

- It sure is a pleasure.

- How do you do?

- Is this your little boy?

- Sure is.

- Good evening, young man.

- Hello.

- Good evening, madam.

- How do you do?

Did they explain everything on the phone?

Pretty much.

Well, I'll go over it once more.

I've got two tickets for you.

An usher will seat you.

We go in right away?

Yes. You're in the front row.

When the performance ends,

the child and I will come out on stage...

and I will ask him a couple of questions.

I'll introduce you, and you'll be asked

to go up on stage.

- You do have a car, don't you?

- Yes.

- I see, but not a Simca?

- No.

No? That's too bad, but it doesn't matter.

So what happens?

I'll ask you to come up on stage...

and I'll ask you a few simple questions.

We might make it humorous,

just for publicity.

- "Thank you, Simca."

- Right.

- You don't mind, do you?

- Of course not.

- By the way, what's his name?

- Daniel.

- You gave him the bill, didn't you?

- No.

Here, Daniel.

There you are. Keep that in your pocket.

When I ask you for it,

you take it out, but not before.

You do just what the man tells you.

- Will we see you after the show?

- Oh, yes, on stage.

Hope you enjoy it.

It's been a pleasure to meet you both.

Be a good boy, Daniel.

Do what the man says.

When you write your first song by yourself,

you're never sure how good it is.

You're always anxious to find out...

and the best way to find out is

to sing it to a discriminating audience.

Well, I'm glad you finally got here.

Any later and you'd have

had to sing to yourself.

Did you miss your subway?

- What's that?

- Take a look, it's for you.

- What is it?

- Look and you'll see.

- It's a puppy!

- Surprise.

- Are you giving him to me?

- Yes.

- You're fooling me.

- No.

But you cry

Too bad for you

That'll teach you...

You're going to get your car

from Santa Claus.

- No.

- You bet you are.

- Santa Claus?

- Sure.

- Oh, no.

- Yes, he's coming tonight.

- Santa Claus?

- Yes.

It's another month,

nine months before Santa.

No, it's tonight.

Tonight, Santa Claus is giving you your car.

Raindrops keep falling on my head

But that doesn't mean my eyes will

soon be turning red

Crying's not for me

'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain

by complaining

Because I'm free

- He's a good driver, isn't he?

- He's pretty good.

This is fun.

- A compliment

- Yes

- Two compliments

- Yes

- My affection

- And?

- That's fine

- With style, huh?

8:
30, a martini

- Two martinis

- And?

That's fine

Daniel, meet Santa Claus.

- Hello, Daniel.

- Hello, Santa Claus.

Excuse me, miss.

The Europe Number One contest,

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