The Curiosity of Chance Page #5

...from the looks of it...

I'd say... He's dying!

It's moved from his throat!

Maybe it's a parasite.

I'm calling the nurse!

Don't leave me!

Not yet.

Stay away from the light...

Stay away from the light...

I think he's trying to confess.

Are you properly trained

in the giving of last rites?

I don't know.

Oh no! Don't go, Hank!..

Don't go...

GO!..He was so sweet--

I'm okay...

What's happening here?

Allergies.

They come and go.

You were very comforting, though.

Oh...you know...and on second thought...

the food is just fine.

You got the combination?

She might smell,

but at least her files are organized.

So, when do we do it?

After school.

We just broke into

the Vice Principal's office!

Knowing Smelker, she could parlay

that into my beheading.

Dammit Marquis,

don't wussy out on me.

Or do you like getting smacked

in the face by balls?

Don't answer that.

All I'm trying to say, if you want Brad to keep

wailing on you, then fine--

Wait, wait, NO!

Let me just see what's in his locker first,

then I'll decide.

Someone loves himself.

Hey! Wait up!

What's that?

The holy grail...

'Roid Rage.

He's been on it

for at least a year.

How do you know all this?

Toni Durazo, his fetching girlfriend,

sits next to me in photo.

Her best friend Rachel is behind me

and when notes pass, I'm the go-between.

Sometimes they don't bother to fold them.

And this one time, Toni asked me--

Okay, got it.

You can read and you've got

a hard-on for Toni.

So fascinating!

What do we do now exactly?

What do we do now?

A student taking steroids...

We blow the whistle.

Brad gets caught red handed & BOOM!

Expulsion. Poof!

Gone from Brickland like

a bad case of ringworm.

It's so perfect,

it makes me want to cry.

How?...

Does it go down, I mean?

Go down?

An anonymous tip.

Seize the day, Chance.

Rid our society from

pond-scum like Brad Harden.

Opportunities like this

don't come along every day.

So remember,

it's survival of the smartest.

I know where you live, Dorkus.

Hey, lighten up.

I don't really think you're a dorkus.

I know you don't.

Why is it you so often

forget my superior intellect...

and nascent ability to process your rudimentary

attempts at sarcasm?--

Shut it! Before I

purposely drive into a pole.

So, um...

...when did you know you were...

...you know...

A homosexual?

I don't know. When did you know

you were a breeder?

Still not completely sure if I am.

I've set for eighteen to twenty-three

to be my 'experimental years.'

I have a plan.

Four.

Four what?

When I was four,

my dear-departed mother took me to a

production of The Nutcracker.

It was colorful, and dramatic

and the music was great.

But just one thing held my attention

above everything else:

a dancer.

Male.

Shirtless through the entire play.

I couldn't stop looking at him.

Of course, I didn't really understand

why then, but...

I do now.

Very touching, Marquis.

Excuse me while I vomit.

Look, I don't care if you're gay,

but most people in school do.

So...

It's just...

If that alone

makes you such a huge target,

why do you give 'em more ammo

by acting and dressing the way you do?

Well,

if you have the choice between being

ostracized for wearing a weird hat,

or being gay...

which one would you pick?

Thanks for the ride home.

And thanks for looking out for me.

I loved your football pictures in the paper.

You did?

Thanks.

Can I see?

Umm...

Sure.

These are great.

Who is this? Your sister?

Not exactly.

Is that...

...Chance?

Yeah!

We went to this club in the city and he

performed with a bunch of other drag queens.

It was great!

He was awesome!

Did you take these for the school paper?

No. I'm just developing them for Chance.

I mean...

I don't think he really wants

anyone to know...

you know?

Oh,

sure, yeah.

His secret's safe with me.

Umm... Hey, do you have

any high-gloss paper I could borrow?

Sure...

Oh, I left it in the classroom.

I'll go get it.

All I know is I didn't risk my life

sneaking into Smelt-her's office

to get information you're not

even gonna use now!

But...

I continue to appreciate the

creation of the plan

and its stealth-like deployment.

Yours is a leadership even my

father would hold dear.

But I hate to point out the fact that you

didn't actually risk your life.

Have you ever been in that office?

It took everything in me

to avoid asphyxiation.

Point taken.

So you're just gonna let Brad

keep beating on you?

UHH! Ahh!

Look, I've been

in this situation before...

eventually Brad will get tired of me and

move on to helpless freshmen.

Puppies.

And speaking frankly...

tattletale-ing is beneath me.

And you for that matter.

He's not going to move on, Chance.

I know his kind.

Brad is like a cat toying with a mouse

before going in for the kill.

You act like

none of this stuff bothers you,

like it's a nuisance.

You talk a good game.

It even made me think that you were

strong...like everyone underestimates you.

But that's all it is:

talk.

You're a coward, Chance.

A mouse.

Brad's mouse.

Marquis, you're out!

Dear students,

do not forget

your essays for next Monday.

You should write 500 words,

not less,

and I have a

very nice reading task for you:

you should read Act One of Macbeth,

one of Shakespeare's greatest tragedies.

There is also a reminder

on the blackboard,

you do not use cliff notes, okay?

Time for literature now...

this book:
The Count of Monte Cristo

written by Alexandre Dumas...

Oh man, Boy-George is so going to wish he

never stepped foot in this school.

Hey Cadet,...

come on in here.

I thought we'd do this together.

Hai!

You gotta be tough, Chance.

It's the only way

to survive in this life.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe

I already am tough?

What? No, that's not what I meant-

I didn't think so.

But then again, why would you

when you've spent your entire adult life

being trained to discern that

which is only directly in

front of your face?

So when you look at me,

all you see is everything you aren't.

And would never want to be.

You don't see strength...

just cowardice and, let's face it, a big fag!

So if you'll excuse me,

I have a field of daisies

to go frolic through!

What did I tell you about using

that word in this house!

Hey, my girlfriend needs some lipstick,

can you help her out?

Someone must have swiped it.

Perceptive beyond belief.

It's impossible.

I was extra careful.

No one even saw them, except for...

Oh...

Oh...

Before you say anything,

just remember, she's very fetching.

And I'm a teenager in high school

who's not having sex.

You showed these to Toni Durazo?!

She's Brad's girlfriend...

you idiot!

What are you,

sniffing on photo chemicals again?!

It's like a voodoo spell, I think...

Look on the positive side,

it's definitely one of my better shots.

Ow!

It'll blow over.

I don't know if you've noticed,

but this is high school.

Things don't 'blow over'.

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