The Curse of the Jade Scorpion Page #10

- What Are you thinking?

I'm thinking that it's a pity

we hate each other.

- By now, we could have

- had a large family.

- I'm gonna swoon.

Steady, steady.

I affect women this way sometimes.

- I can't stay awake.

- Easy, easy.

- I just need to rest

- my head on your shoulder.

- Easy, uh-- [ Coughs ]

I must remember what soap

I used this morning.

## [ Big Band ]

## [ Big Band ]

- What the hell Are you doing here?

- Good morning, sweetheart.

Don't call me sweetheart.

What's going on?

I stayed awake all last night...

thinking about all those things

that you said,

and all of that rang

a very deep bell with me.

- What?

- There were so many times,

you know, when we were

arguing in the office,

and I had the feeling that down deep,

underneath it all,

you were really crazy about me.

Crazy about you?

What, were you dropped on your head?

No, hey, toots, I gotta tell you,

last night, for a cold fish,

you were hot stuff.

Listen, buster, don't call me "toots. "

I don't like it

any better than "sweetheart. "

I'm not one of those available

Annies who sits on your lap

while you give dictation.

What did you do, sneak in here

and slip into my arms?

Hey, what's going on? You tried to

undress me last night and kiss me.

- What Are you talking about?

- You came in here and passed out.

- And now the news.

- I'm confused.

- The elusive jewel thief...

responsible for robbing the Kensington

and Dillworth fortunes this week...

has struck again.

C.W. Briggs, a former employee

of North Coast Fidelity and

Casualty Company of New York,

is the chief suspect in the robbery

of the latest victim,

Adrian Greenwood of Manhattan.

The details of the crime were

the same as the first two this week.

In addition to over

a million dollars in jewelry,

the thief got away

with a like amount of cash.

Police had recovered the jewels

from the earlier burglaries,

which led to the capture and arrest

of the prime suspect, C.W. Briggs.

So that's why you escaped

from the police.

Not to try to prove your innocence,

but because you had unfinished business.

What kind of business?

I was here with you!

Yeah, well, for some reason,

I'm having trouble remembering

all of that, but I was asleep.

Even if you came here to sleep,

you could have awakened,

robbed these people and then come back.

- You just used this as a safe haven!

- I could have,

but I didn't.

You tried to undress me and kiss me.

You are feeding me the wrong lie.

I've never tried

to undress you in my life,

and I wouldn't kiss you

if we were marooned

on a desert island for 20 years.

We would never be marooned for 20 years,

'cause after 20 minutes,

I'd make a bow and arrow and kill you.

What Are you thinking? I'm marrying

Chris Magruder, for God's sakes.

- You are?

- Yes.

We've set a spring date,

as soon as his divorce is final.

So if I was undressing you

or trying to kiss you,

I must have multiple personalities.

if you marry Chris Magruder,

you have multiple stupidity.

Uh, yeah, it must have been

the booze last night,

but you were like a changed person,

and a much better one.

I'm gonna take a shower, and if

you're not gone when I get out,

I'm calling my local precinct.

For one minute,

you dropped your guard.

You were actually sexy,

even though when the light

hit you a certain way,

you, you tend to resemble Mussolini.

[ Sighing ]

Sh--

Pretty snazzy for an office worker.

Boy, Magruder must really

love you in an extravagant way.

Probably likes going to Paris with you

more than he does with his wife.

[C.W. ] I understand

you and Charlie got something for me.

[Man ] I don't know about Charlie,

but I came up with a name.

[ C.W. ]

Really? Well, hit me. Lay it on me.

Eddie Polgar.

Eddie Polgar. Who's that?

It don't mean a thing to me,

but it's come up twice.

- Eddie Polgar?

- Yeah, yeah. There's no police record.

Could be an alias.

I don't know. It's all I could get.

Hey, hey, hey. Blue men coming.

Keep moving. Keep moving!

- Charlie.

- C.W., is that you?

- I got a message you wanted me.

- You're hot as a pistol.

"Hot"? The New York City Police want

to give me a lifetime achievement award.

Name Eddie Polgar

mean anything to you?

- Zero.

- Nothin'. I can't get

a break, no matter what I do.

- Stick your hand in the cup.

- In the cup?

In the cup. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Thirty- eight cents and a wad of paper.

Oh, and somebody threw their gum away

in your business establishment.

Well, open the wad of paper.

- Why?

- It's a clue.

- What kind of clue?

- From last night's heist.

Coopersmiths found it

on the driveway on the property.

- Charlie, wh--

- The burglar dropped it getting away.

- How'd you get it?

- I got a friend, who's got a friend...

who works in the same building

as the Coopersmith Agency.

- I thought maybe you'd want it.

- Charlie, this is--

These earrings are grand larceny.

I see by the look on your face

I must've helped you.

[Earring Rattling In Tin Cup]

Cherchezla femme.

You know what that means, Charlie?

- What?

- Find the woman.

- Is there a woman?

- Well, first I thought so.

Then I didn't.

Now I think I got her.

You work next to a person for years,

and then one day

the temptation's too great.

- I don't believe it. Not C.W.

- It doesn't make sense.

- Why not?

Jill, I don't think any of us

expected it, but there is proof now.

You heard Fitzgerald saw the jewels

sittin' in his apartment, right?

Yeah, and how he fought the cops

when they got the key to his locker.

- To me it's open-and-shut.

- What?

- You don't run from the police

- if you're innocent.

- That's what I'm sayin'.

What about the nerve it took

to strike twice? Come on, guys.

C.W. deserves some credit.

He turned out to be a pretty gutsy guy.

[Phone Ringing]

Hello. Where Are you?

Hello. Where Are you?

[C.W. ] Never mind where I am.

I gotta get up to the office.

I- I think there's more people

involved in this thing.

I- I-I-I think that Fitzgerald

is behind it.

Does the name...

Eddie Polgar mean anything to you?

No.

Look, I gotta get up to the office.

I wanna get through

the Coopersmiths' report.

I wanna check it out, and I wanna

check out Fitzgerald's desk again.

There's no question about it.

Fitzgerald is involved in this thing

up to her neck.

You can't let this woman and your

feelings for her color your judgment.

It has nothing to do

with my feelings for her.

It's the only thing

that makes any sense.

I go over to her house because I figured

no one will look for me there...

'cause she hates me so.

I go to sleep. In the middle of the

night, I hear a noise, and I wake up.

I find her. I figure,

"All right, so she can't sleep either. "

But no. That's not what it is.

She had done the Greenwood heist, and

she was coming back, and I caught her.

So naturally she starts

to act very peculiar.

You know, she starts to--

I trap her.

So she starts seducing me

with her feminine wiles.

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