The Curse of the Jade Scorpion Page #4
Can we talk without
the warden being here?
Please, Miss Fitzgerald
is a part of this company now.
We must all learn to
work together in harmony.
What makes you so positive
it's an inside job?
It couldn't be that smooth
unless it was inside.
Miss Fitzgerald is suggesting,
given the magnitude of the loss,
that we expand our investigation.
- Meaning what?
- I appreciate the value
of intuition to a point.
But we're moving into a decade
of scientific innovation.
Miss Fitzgerald has suggested
that perhaps we might
get you a little help...
by farming out part of the work
to an outside private detective agency.
- What?
- To help you-- test the waters--
see if a new approach
and fresh techniques make a difference.
Don't feel threatened immediately.
According to you, I'm only threatened
by women with high I. Qs.
Did you hire a female detective?
North Coast has got to get
with the progress of the marketplace.
There's a lot of money at stake here.
The more time passes, the colder
the trail grows. You know that.
So if the Coopersmith Private Detective
Agency makes a contribution, then fine.
If not, we're only out a few bucks.
The Coopersmiths?
Those guys are like Fric and Frac.
- They're sub-mental.
- We are moving into
a new decade, the 1940s.
That means things are different.
Do me a favor. Max Baer's
looking for sparring partners.
Why don't you go down to the gym?
You're the only person I've received
this kind of bitter resistance from.
You're a dinosaur with your street ways
and disorganized hunt-and-peck methods.
Please. My father
always stressed harmony.
I gotta go.
I'm working on a case.
Watch out for the traffic.
Don't get hit by a bus,
your body mangled beyond recognition.
I ain't heard a word about any job.
Nobody tried to fence anything
or do any braggin'.
Charlie, you gotta help me with this.
Keep your ears open.
Anything you hear, I gotta know.
It's very important, okay?
Fifty? You must be desperate.
You know where to reach me. Keep eating
the carrots. I think they're workin'.
I think Joe said they're
all gone up there, Mr. Briggs.
I'm just gonna check something out.
I'll be down in five minutes.
[Door Opens]
You startled me.
I was working late.
Oh, 'cause Eddie said he didn't
think anybody was up here.
Well, I'm here. [ Chuckles ]
Obviously I'm here.
- What Are you so nervous--
- I'm not nervous.
Why would I be nervous? Working up here
alone, I didn't expect to see you.
Don't you work late all the time?
That's what they tell me.
What is this, 20 questions?
You scared me.
I'm working up here alone.
I'm filling out some reports.
What are you gonna do, ask Magruder
to take out all the water coolers?
Why don't you make your wisecracks
somewhere else? I'm busy.
I'm outta here.
You know, I-I-- Don't work too late,
'cause the bags under
your eyes are getting bigger.
Have a good evening, and
if you find you're going to have
a sudden coronary thrombosis,
you should probably drive
directly to the hospital.
[ Magruder ] You were right.
We shouldn't fool around at the office.
- He gives me the willies.
- He's a harmless sort.
[Keys Jingling]
- Hey. How'd you get in?
- It wasn't very hard.
Really? What'd you do, have
your father buy the building?
A small tip to the super
was all it took.
For you maybe. I give the super
a small tip, he spits on my shoes.
I brought some very expensive
Russian vodka, 120 proof.
Don't drop that, you know.
You're liable to blow up the building.
I got bored waiting. There's
nothing to read but detective
magazines and the racing form.
I got a deck of playing cards with naked
women on them. You could've, you know--
Let me guess.
You use it to play solitaire.
I used to date the six of spades.
I love where you live.
It's just what I thought it would be--
a grimy little rat hole.
Oh, thank you.
I'll tell my decorator you said that.
It's the effect we were going for.
You dying to see my,
uh, strawberry mark?
If it's in the same spot it was this
afternoon, I'd like to check it out.
This is truly a novelty for me.
I'm used to pent houses and yachts--
gorgeous European lovers who buy me
presents and sweep me off my feet.
And yet, somehow, I find it strangely
exciting standing here...
in a grungy hovel
with a myopic insurance clerk.
I know there's a compliment in there.
I just don't know where it is.
You gonna take that coat off?
It hasn't rained in
this apartment in 20 years.
Oh, well.
[ Clears Throat]
What do you think?
If I happen to pass away
while we're doing anything,
just have the embalmer
leave the smile on my face.
- [Phone Ringing]
- Perfect timing.
I'll slip into something a little more
comfortable, wait for you in bed.
More comfortable than that? What are
you going to put on, Jergens lotion?
- Hello?
- [ Magician ] Constantinople.
You are in the power
of the Jade Scorpion.
You will proceed to
the Dill worth mansion.
You will enter and open the safe.
Have you ever heard of an Indian book
called the Kama Sutra?
I'm sorry, Laura, but we're going to
have to postpone our little rendezvous.
- Pardon me?
- I just recalled a previous engagement.
I hope you don't mind.
The doorman will get you a taxi.
- I had a wonderful evening.
Thank you very much.
- You are jokin', of course.
I'll turn around and you can get
dressed, and please try and hurry.
- I'm rather pressed for time.
- Have you got a loose screw?
Tonight was very meaningful to me.
Really.
I'll always think of it
in a very cherished way.
If you're in the neighborhood again,
drop in.
What's come over you?
Should you want any peanuts
to snack on on the way home,
I think I have a whole dish
of them in the other room.
You hate women, don't you?
Not at all. Actually,
they're a splendid gender.
Really. A very pleasant variation.
I should have known.
I should have known.
A mousy little clerk like you,
after criminals.
- I should have known.
- No, Laura, don't be cross.
Do drop in again in the springtime.
The oleander will be in bloom.
I'm going! I'm getting out!
I'm not used to getting kicked out of a
man's bed, but it could have been worse.
You're very sick, you know?
Thanking you in advance
for understanding, Laura.
God bless you.
You have a splendidly shaped buttocks.
- Mamma mia.
- God bless you, Laura.
I can't believe it.
It's identical.
You think somebody from the
Kensington household came over
and pulled this one too?
We did the security here.
We made the place fool proof.
Somebody's a step ahead of ya.
I want to speak to the Dillworths.
I want to question them.
The Coopersmith detectives
have been grilling them all morning.
Geez. You mean--
I can't believe it.
She convinced Magruder
to put the Coopersmiths on.
We need all the help
we can get on this case.
What's happenin', fellas?
You want to talk to me?
Hey, C.W.
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"The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_curse_of_the_jade_scorpion_6159>.
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