The Day the Earth Caught Fire Page #11

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- You've got a piece to write, haven't you?

- I know what I'd like to write.

You can't. It's a family newspaper.

We're all so bloody clever

at outsmarting nature!

"Anything you can

split I can split better."

- You know what I'd do if I were you?

- What?

Some special data waiting

for you in the library.

Half an hour ago, I brought her.

Thanks. Well, in that case,

we'll just skip the library.

- If you take my advice...

- You know she hasn't spoken to me since.

Well, how the hell can she speak

to you in separate rooms?

Well...

I need some data anyway.

Yeah.

We all need whatever we can get.

You see, they're all cross-filed.

You have to remember

what names are connected

with what subjects and vice versa.

Anytime you want any help...

I'm just getting

Mr Maguire's stuff, sir.

Well, thanks.

- Yes?

- I need some...

Pete...

I need you, Jeannie.

I need you, too.

Attention, please. Attention, please.

There will be an emergency

announcement of national importance

by the Prime Minister

at 9:
00 tonight.

Stand by at 9:
00 tonight for an

announcement of national importance.

Please pass on this information.

Attention, please.

Attention, please. There will

be an emergency announcement

of national importance by the

Prime Minister at 9:00 tonight.

Stand by at 9:
00 tonight for an

announcement of national importance.

Attention, please.

There will be an emergency

announcement of national importance

by the Prime Minister

at 9:
00 tonight.

Stand by at 9:
00 tonight...

I'm sorry, sir, no entry.

You better close this, chum.

- I'm meeting someone inside.

- Not during ration hours.

Yeah, but anyone inside will

have to come out this way.

- No, don't say...

- It's no use arguing.

You can't take those in,

leave them here.

- No, I want to save half my shower, see?

- You can't take water from here,

this is a washing centre.

The forms, please.

I don't dig it, doll.

I mean, we're all entitled

to so much water, aren't we?

Yeah, for washing. Leave them here.

- So who says if it goes over us or in us?

- Move on.

Either leave or get out of line.

Attention, please. There will

be an emergency announcement.

Stand by at 9:
00 tonight.

- Daddy, you weren't there!

- Oh, they wouldn't let me in, son.

- We're driving away now into the country.

- I know, Mike.

I wanted us to say good-bye

to the ghost train.

Well, there isn't time now,

and anyway, it's closed up.

Will it be open again sometime?

Yeah, maybe sometime.

Mummy's here. Come and see Mummy.

You can come with us.

You come with us, Daddy.

Make Daddy come with us, Mummy.

- Hello, Peter.

- Hello, Angie.

Why can't Daddy come with us?

Somebody's gotta stay and report it

when the ghost train starts again.

- We'd want to know that, wouldn't we?

- I suppose so.

You're staying in London?

Paper goes on forever.

When will I see you again?

Quite soon. I'll come out and

visit you. Now, go on, off you go.

I want to sit in front!

All right, but don't

wriggle the whole time.

I think we ought to

leave now, Angela.

- Good-bye, Peter.

- Good-bye, Angie.

- You got water in those cans?

- We saved a little.

I'd keep to the main roads.

The water gangs are pretty busy.

I won't take chances.

Good luck, Peter.

It all seems pretty

ridiculous now, doesn't it?

- Yeah, pretty ridiculous. Look after the kid.

- Yeah. See you.

Maybe.

Attention, please.

There will be an emergency

announcement of national importance

by the Prime Minister

at 9:
00 tonight.

This is London.

Try and get it clearer.

Nothing much I can do, sir.

We're using every known cut-out.

What do you bet they'll have another

power failure in the middle of it?

It's all right, sir. We're running

on our own generator now.

- It'll have to wait for the agency copy!

- Ronnie, hop over to PA and wait for it.

Well, go on.

I feel that at this time,

it is senseless to minimise

the gravity of our situation

or to deny the danger of

the course decided upon.

Keep it quiet, please.

Perhaps it is comforting to know

the decision has been taken

jointly by all governments

and heads of state throughout the

globe acting in complete accord.

Bravo. It's only taken

half a million years.

He's shaking like a jelly.

What's the matter with his tongue?

It's all swollen.

All right, try and get a doctor.

Drastic conditions

demand drastic action.

Scientists are unanimous that

we must attempt to change,

or at least check,

the movement towards the sun.

And so, all thermonuclear bombs,

the largest ever devised,

will be detonated simultaneously,

100 miles apart,

in the west of Siberia.

And to this end, they have been

working with all possible speed

before conditions of heat

make assembly uncontrollable.

No one, and I repeat,

no one, can tell us exactly

what this massive

explosion will effect.

One thing is certain, however.

Without it, we are a doomed planet.

With it, we can only place ourselves

in the hands of the Almighty.

- You just missed the good news.

- I heard it on the PA.

- Here's the full speech. Official release.

- When's the big bang?

Wednesday, 11:
00 a.m. They've gotta

have their tea break first, you know?

- I don't think that's humourous.

- Don't you? Well, try this for a laugh.

There's five cases of typhus in North

London, and they're expecting more.

- Typhus?

- Yes, from black market water, mostly.

4 a gallon. Typhus, no extra charge.

- What happened, kid?

- Don't touch him, any of you! Keep away.

- Where does he live?

- Live? I don't know, North London some...

That's what I thought.

Call emergency. Get an ambulance.

I'll get it.

Poor little bastard.

This is all we needed.

You'll have to see your staff's

inoculated before anyone leaves.

Of course. At least we have a

choice now... Typhus or leukaemia.

What do you think, Bill?

The bombs, I mean.

You heard what the PM said.

No one, not even Bill Maguire

can answer that one.

- And if it doesn't work?

- Evacuation by spaceship.

All aboard for the moon. You want

the best dead planets, we are them.

- Want a slug?

- Please.

If that's your last will and testament,

don't forget to leave me my car.

I'm degutting the

polluted water pedlars.

Give us martial law and

we'll shoot the gits.

Plus the 12 I paid for my water

circulator I haven't even seen.

- Do you want some?

- I'm off it.

So I've noticed. It's a beautiful

thing to watch a woman reform a man.

Only needed the Earth to catch fire.

Glad you approve. Well, if you've exhausted

your repertoire of amusing quips,

I'll go and collect the other

half of the reform movement.

- She's gone.

- Gone?

Yes, she'd collected

enough water for a bath,

and she was going to have it

before you turned it into coffee.

- Can I use the car?

- Surely. I've forgotten how to drive it.

There you are, Jacko.

Read all about it.

Including the carbons.

Slash what you want. I'm going home.

- Home?

- Yes, I've done enough work for one lifetime.

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