The Dentist Page #4

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take care of the patient.

Now!

- Alan, I need to talk to you.

- Do you think that this could wait?

- I am in the middle of a procedure.

- I don't think so.

Candy just got a call

from a Mr. Goldblum from the IRS.

I think you should leave now.

- When is he coming?

- Now, I guess.

Leeches.

Bloodsucking leeches!

- Where the hell is she?

- She insisted on leaving.

You clearly haven't learned what it takes

to perform your duties here.

The patient comes first. You should

have made her more comfortable.

Wait a minute.

Are you blaming me?

Not only am I blaming you,

I am firing you!

And don't expect a recommendation.

I have found your work here

to be thoroughly unprofessional.

Unprofessional?

You're the one

who destroyed that woman's molar.

And...

What about this?

That woman yesterday,

the one they carried out of here?

What did you do to her?

- Nothing.

- Right.

Like you had to remove these

to fill a cavity.

Everyone else here

is scared to death of you.

But not me.

- I'm gonna shut you down.

- Jessica.

- Nothing happened.

- Bullshit.

I'm going to report you

to the Dental Association.

You filthy pig.

You dirty, disgusting...

Oh, f*** you.

You're the pig.

When are you going to see

a dentist about that tooth?

I'd rather live with the pain.

What have you got?

You were right, Sherlock.

This is not our robber.

A .380 caliber slug flattened

by the dog's cranium.

Surprise me, Sunshine.

Surprise me.

There's about 300 registered gun owners

in a two-mile radius of the house.

Nearer, nearer.

Across the street, a Dr. Feinstone

is a fully subscribed, bona fide member

of the Encino Gun Club

and a registered owner

of a .380 Walther PPK.

- A regular James Bond.

- A James Bond regular.

No.

Sarah, you're up next.

Just go on back

and let him know you're next.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Hi. Remember me?

I'm next.

She's been waiting

an awfully long time already.

- Yeah, two years and one day.

- Kid, you'll understand.

See, Dr. Feinstone

can't kept me waiting.

It's in his own interest.

Or do we start the audit now?

Look, Mr. Goldblum, I...

I...

It's all right, Sarah.

He won't be too long.

You understand.

I can't take this.

Kid, that's nice.

But next time take the money.

I'll let myself in.

Hey, Doc, you got business.

Why don't you go in that

first room right there?

Yes, boss.

Real nice place here, Alan.

Hell, this place is like a palace.

Like your home.

You got all these

beautiful rooms here.

Real special.

You're not going to

put them on, are you?

I was just in the gas closet.

Oh, you're not... "out"?

- What?

- Nerve gas.

I was hoping for a little

whiff of the goof today.

Please, have a seat.

What do you want from me,

Mr. Goldblum?

Alan, I've, uh...

I've seen your returns.

You're doing really well here.

But those deductions...

Whoo.

I mean, really?

You didn't really think...

I mean, with penalty and interest,

it could have cost you plenty.

What do you mean?

Alan, I'm your friend.

I don't have to go to my supervisor

with this, you know?

Lot cheaper to pay me

than Uncle Sam.

How much?

You can start...

...with these.

We'll use laser bonding

to reattach them.

Good.

Lasers, yeah.

Make me look nice.

Hey, Doc, don't take

what I'm saying personal.

After all, we don't have

any secrets now, do we?

Got a great marriage?

I can tell by your returns.

You spend plenty on her.

Hot stuff.

Well, is she, Doc?

Really hot?

I'm sorry, Doc.

I know I got a dirty mind.

It's this job.

You spend so much time in the sewer.

You can't help getting a little dirty.

But I guess as a tooth man,

you know all about it.

Mild sedation is called for.

I'm going to be administering

some nitrous oxide.

Great! Go for it, Doc,

seize the day.

I'll take care of your little problem.

Just breathe normally.

And relax.

Brooke.

Such a waspy name.

Oh, those shiksa broads really know

how to do the deed, don't they, Doc?

I love it.

Am I right or am I right?

What the hell?

You'd never

be satisfied, would you?

Much worse than I thought, Marv.

The decay is out of control.

It's gone right through

to your soul.

Come on, Marv.

Open wide.

Hi.

I'm Matthew Zeigler.

Estrada Dental Supply Company.

- How you doing today?

- Oh, what is today, Thursday?

Thursdays, I'm good.

Great. I'm your

new area representative.

I was hoping to meet

with the doctor today.

You can meet me.

I do all the ordering.

I'm the office manager,

Candy Wittridge.

Hey, you hear it all the time.

Every dentist has a

screamer or two for a patient.

Oh, God.

This may take a while.

Get your tongue out of the way!

Get it out of the way, God damn it!

Alan?

- What? What is it?

- Uh, is there a problem?

No, no. Not anymore.

Low pain threshold.

- The patient is fine now.

- Okay.

- Thank you.

- Uh, have you seen Jessica?

Oh, she's not here.

I had to let her go.

We're short-staffed as it is.

We'll just have to perform her duties

ourselves for the rest of the day.

- That's all.

- Maybe there shouldn't be a rest of the day.

Maybe we should close up

until things are under control.

Things are under control!

Everything is under control!

This is a business, Karen!

My business!

I cannot afford

to have a bad day.

Please.

Go back to work.

I just don't get it.

Why would he

want to shoot a dog?

'Cause he's a dentist.

They're capable of anything.

Did you know dentists have

the highest rate of suicide?

Let's go. Come on.

- Call for backup. I'm going in.

- Okay.

Oh, Jesus, no.

Jessica?

Alan?

Help me.

Alan!

It's horrible, isn't it?

The discoloration.

The periodontal deterioration.

The smell.

We deal with this every day.

And we clean it up,

the filth they make.

And they hate us for it.

Filthy whore.

She put his dirty, rotten...

...in her mouth.

Don't fight it, Karen.

The air bubbles

will go to your brain,

and then it will be...

Poof.

Dr. Feinstone.

Karen?

Doctor?

- Dr. Feinstone.

- Yes?

Are you okay?

- I'm fine.

- Sarah Andrews is still here.

I'm breaking for lunch.

Karen or Jessica can assist.

- Shall I send Sarah back?

- Yes.

Nothing goes on around here

without me knowing about it.

Candy, have you ever had

the slippery shrimp at Yang Chow's?

Not this week.

The doctor will see you now.

You can come on back.

Hey, can I take your order for a new

tropical flavored dental floss today?

Dr. Feinstone?

Doctor?

What we've got here

is a seriously derailed train.

A man over the edge.

Black and whites will

meet us at his office.

All right.

Wanna take a look?

God, I think they look great!

So sad.

Now, it can only be ruined.

The rest of your life can only

spoil what we've made.

The idea that...

...every second, they're just...

...rotting away.

Can you live with that?

I don't think you can.

Please, somebody help me!

Sarah?

Sarah.

I'm sorry, Sarah.

Please.

Let me explain.

Come on out now, Sarah.

Sarah!

You can't hide!

Not from your dentist.

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