The Devil and Miss Jones Page #4

...to their misfortune.

You just forget all about it.

I'm an elephant, Miss Jones.

A veritable elephant.

I never forget a good deed

done to me or an ill one.

I consider myself sort of a divine justice.

Other people in this world

have to forget things.

I do not.

Now don't talk like you're out of your mind.

And don't be blasfemous about divine justice.

I don't like that.

I came over here to ask you

something very important.

What is it?

Well, Elizabeth asked me to ask you...

if you'd like to take her to Coney Island

tomorrow with Joe and me.

Oh, it's Dutch treat.

And you have to let her know right away because...

...well Mr. Hopper's asked her out.

Has he ever taken her out before?

Oh. Lots of times.

Does she like him?

Well uh....

You know how it is, a girl has

to go out with someone.

He keeps asking her and asking her.

Oh, I'd like to go, certainly.

I'll tell her.

Um, there's something else.

Now I don't want you to say anything to

Mr. Hopper about the sale he took away from you.

There's no use antagonizing him, cause,

afterall he can let you out.

He can, eh?

Now promise me that you won't say anything.

Promise me.

Oh, alright. I won't say anything.

Do you know what would be very clever?

If you go over and thank him for helping you out.

Thank him?

You want to keep this job don't you?

You're in no position to be indepedent.

Go on over. Go on.

Go on.

Mr. Hopper.

Mr. Hopper.

Yes?

Well, uh. I wanted to say about that sale.

You've got quite a way with children.

They certainly take to you, like a duck to water.

Hot water.

Well I probably couldn't have

handled it as well as you...

As well as me? You couldn't handle it at all.

I made that sale.

Oh, I don't know.

I have a hunch those shoes are coming back.

My sales never come back.

Want to bet?

Certainly. How much?

Make it easy on yourself.

How much can you afford?

Oh. I can manage to scrap something together.

Would ten dollars be too much?

Make it twenty?

I'd be lucky if I get the ten.

I'll say so.

If you want to bet anymore...

I'll give you odds.

Ten dollars.

Just get back to your slipper counter.

What do you think I was wig-wagging at you for?

Playing Boy Scout?

I didn't understand, sir.

I keep indicating for you not to buy anything..

That was simple enough.

But you had given me such definite

instructions to buy the shoes sir.

I...

Kind of a picnic tomorrow.

Everybodys bringing something.

I said I'd bring a bottle of wine.

They don't think I will

because I haven't the money. Haha

Well, to the wine cellar.

Yes, sir.

I haven't been down here in 15 years.

No sir, you bought most of these before prohibition.

What's the best bottle of wine in the whole place.

Best? I would say this is, sir.

Romane-Conti 1903.

It's good, eh?

There were only 24 bottles in the world orginally.

You bought 12 and the royal

family have the other 12.

Take the label off the bottle.

I don't want them to be suspicious.

Label off the bottle?

Yes.

Yes, sir.

Very interesting George, my little experiment.

I'm glad that you are enjoying yourself, sir.

I watch the little ants scurry around and I know

each and every one is going to get his just desserts.

I am sure they are.

That Joe, Mary's fellow...

Bad. An evil influence on the girl.

Kind of Svengali corrupting her whole viewpoint.

Yes, sir.

I'm going to break that up tomorrow.

I'll talk her out of that.

And then there's Hopper.

A petty tyrant.

Well, he's going to get his reward.

Then there's Elizabeth...

Well, come on, up with you.

Yes, sir.

Oh dear, I knew that I forgot

something, the pickles.

Hey! You little guttersnipe!

Why don't you look where you're going.

Do you understand Italian?

I understand that. Hehe.

Say, would it be too much to ask

you two millionaires to lend a hand here?

Women's place in the world is to tend the male.

Not this woman and not this male.

Here, open it.

Why don't we try my wine?

Well, I've never been interested in domestic wine.

This isn't exactly domestic.

Oh Tom, you shouldn't have

spent your money for this.

Oh well. You only live once.

Skol!

But I don't know what it means.

Hehe.

Well?

You like it don't you?

Yeah, well I tell you Tom,

it's not really bad it's...

Tom, did you spend more than 50 cents for this?

50 cents for...

Oh Tom, they saw you coming.

Who saw you coming?

You mean that you don't like this wine?

Say, I have a good mind to return it

and make them give you your money back.

Yeah. Oh the nerve of some people.

Gee wiz.

Now wait a minute.

You're not giving this wine a fair chance.

Hey, I got an idea. Just a second.

Here...

We'll open this and put some

of this in it. See?

Put some of this in.

No, come on, it'll help kill the taste.

Well, skol again.

No.

It's no use.

No. I guess that you can't save it.

It's a shame really.

Too bad we had to ruin a bottle of pop.

Isn't it?

Pour it out, Tom. It might make you sick.

I am sick.

Wine experts!

Now here's a bottle of wine,

that's really a bottle of wine.

This was made by our iceman's grandfather.

Same as he used to do in the old country.

He puts the grapes in the

bathtub and he jumps on them. Haha

I saw him do it.

Ah! Real jumped on grapes, huh?

Why didn't he take his socks off?

I knew you'd like it.

Well, I'm going for a swim.

See you all in a minute.

Haha!

Ah!

Now don't show off and swim way out!

We'll be watching you.

Say, maybe the pragperry man will have

some extra pickles he'll sell. I'll be back in a minute.

Don't worry.

Nothing will happen to him.

Ah. He's a pretty good swimmer.

He's pretty good at everything.

You wouldn't be prejudice.

Maybe.

Is it possible that you're reading

virtues into him that don't exist?

Don't you like him?

What makes you say that?

Well, I was watching you on the subway and

thought that you were making faces at him.

My feet were hurting me.

But you're not really crazy about him.

Well...That depends upon how

much you're in love with thim.

And I don't think that you're any judge.

Who's a better one?

Any outsider.

Me, for instance.

Now look around us.

There's a couple over there.

They think that they were made for each other.

He's bitting her ear.

Now, she's bitting his ear.

Very touching.

I think so.

They've found each other, haven't they?

Out of this whole wide world,

these two were lucky enough to come together.

But, don't you think. If she hadn't meet him

there'd be someone else bitting her ear right now?

And don't you think he'd be at some

other girl's ear? Probably ten feet away?

Maybe.

But that doesn't prove anything.

Scientists can write all the books

they like love being a trap of nature.

I remember reading that.

That it's biology and chemistry

inside a woman that fools her.

But all the scientists are going to

convince are other scientists, not women in love.

I don't say Joe is the greatest

thing that ever lived.

I probably wouldn't love him if he was...

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